Dating Thread 157 - Kitten or Smitten: Which bench are *you* on?

[MrDrummer]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread?watched=1

Link to previous thread:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3566658-Dating-Thread-156-It-is-hot-hot-hot

@Ant330 hahaha

I certainly wouldn't write off every man over 50! My main issue with them has been boozing. But also being a bit needy. I'm sure there are lovely 50 somethings I just haven't dated them. I'll keep swiping them. When I start swiping again. Which is getting further and further off as mr U seems rather smitten. Like me.

I would love to meet a man over 50. It just isn't happening though. Actually now I think about it there is a guy on POF who I have been exchanging intermittent messages with who is a couple of years older than me but he lives 40 minutes drive away and I am not sure that would work for me. He is very intermittent though and we have no date arranged so he probably has other conversations going on and I am a back stop.

At the moment I really don't mind about age, I just want to meet an honest, single man preferably with a good sense of humour and a lot of filthiness inside him 😬

@lifegoes is that a line from your profile?

@lifegoes

At the moment I really don't mind about age, I just want to meet an honest, single man preferably with a good sense of humour and a lot of filthiness inside him

Very fallow period in PoF tells me that isn't what most women really want, tbh. I am all of those (plus fit enough to run a half marathon, 4 month ago). Let's be honest, as men go, I am pretty perfect ... yet getting anyone to talk was like pulling teeth.

MrDrummer maybe you are in the wrong location? Clearly nowhere near Sussex .

I ran a half marathon in March and am running a 10 mile race later this year and two half marathons next year, along with a scattering of 10k races in between. I have yet to meet a male runner anywhere near my age range on POF or Tinder. .

I don't really mind whether a guy can run far, I just want one that looks after himself, doesn't drink so much that he is risking health problems and has some emotional intelligence. He also has to be funny, self deprecating and sexy. Is that asking for too much?

LilyRose88 we could share Mr Drummer?!!! We're probably not that far away from each other and similar ages. waves

Haha @vwman absolutely not!!!!

I'll tell you what I tell most people in my daily life @MrDrummer I am NOT most women. 😁

Sorry - just reread my last post and it sounds a bit braggy and it wasn't meant to. I am not a fast runner by any means and am quite average body wise - I wouldn't consider my build to be athletic. I just get frustrated with the pool of available men in my area. I did think about joining a running club to try and meet someone but the ones near me all meet too early during the week (i.e. before I get home from work) and they have weekend runs which start at 7.30am.

@lifegoes

I am NOT most women

Most women say that

NestOfSwipers we could set up a FAB meet and share him . MrDrummer runs away in horror at the though of frustrated Mumsnetters chasing after him.

Ok @MrDrummer

Delurking to say thanks to all for providing good advice to fellow daters. I’ve been reading for a few threads and feel like I’ve learned a lot. And empathised along the way with egg-gate and with those on various benches.

I also am asking for advice. Am quite new to OLD and I’m struggling a bit with how to move things on as when I was last single just used to go on the pull and snog someone when pissed and then you ended up going out together (or not!) That was the 90s though and I was much younger then...

I’ve been on 3 dates with one iron over about a month, and there has been nothing beyond a peck on the cheek... so I’ll call him Mr Peck. Any advice for getting a snog? I suggested having something to eat at his house (I have a lodger so would prefer not at this stage as wouldn’t want her to tell my kids.) Mr Peck said it was too soon...

I think he’s quite keen as we’ve got tickets to two events in May but I’ve got enough friends and dating time is precious. I’d rather know if the kissing is bad because it put me off a previous iron when the kiss wasn’t great... how do I move things on?

I'm having zero luck on POF and Tinder.
I would welcome any constructive feedback if anyone has time to have a quick look at my profile and photos, I can send some screenshots. I don't take offence easy, I promise!

Frustrated MIDDLE AGED Mumsnetters! 😂

....’and sexy’....

And there’s the killer.
Because its totally subjective and something that is out of anyones control.

We could all be ignoring mr/ms perfect everyday as we don't find them sexy.
If finding someone was simple there would be no need for old!

Why do I have an image of @MrDrummer running away from us with the Benny Hill music?

@Ant330 😂

@putastrawunderbaby Fingers crossed for you 🤞

@Ceebeegee I'd change my location to somewhere within 5/10 miles of the cities. Get chatting at least then drop in that you're actually in x location. They'll either still be intested or not, the key is to get some irons to chat to in the first place... I've chatted to guys who put a location of 10 miles away, but were in fact 30 - I'm in the city but they're rural, if I liked them enough we still met up.🤷🏼‍♀️

Having a horrific day with STBXH being a complete and utter cockwomble over our divorce. Told MrCornish who replied "I have a shotgun, shovel and a spare field..." delivered absolutely deadpan, but it made me laugh when I was feeling pretty despondent and I know he wouldn't hurt a fly. I may be moving my other arse cheek onto the smitten bench...

@Emojina I also miss the days of going out, getting drunk and snogging someone, life was so simple back then 😪

I'm more of a sprinter. It would have to be a circular chase so that I can join in on each circuit...

Emojina has he even hinted towards a snog? Sexual tension? Flirting? I'd be losing it after a month and 3 dates with no kiss 🙈😂.

Emojina I had three dates with a guy like that - in the end I decided he wasn't that into me so I ended 'it' (insofar as there was an 'it'). He seemed keen to arrange future dates but I started to feel like he saw me as a way to while away a Saturday evening. Just saying. Your guy might be different ....

supercali and putastraw I met Mr BC on Fab ....

Ckfan Emojina I agree. I seemed to go out, snog someone and then he was my boyfriend. No agonising about whether we were exclusive or multi-dating. Good old days.

Ah jesuis Mr Cornish sounds lovely. Can you ask him if I can bury my stbxh there too?