Dating Thread 157 - Kitten or Smitten: Which bench are *you* on?

[MrDrummer]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread?watched=1

Link to previous thread:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3566658-Dating-Thread-156-It-is-hot-hot-hot

Yes, peanut, I’ve met multiple in their 50s who are lively, clever and v good in bed, like a drink but not boozers as such. I think it just goes to show it’s best not write people off on the basis of age alone. When I start swiping again I shall shave a couple of years off my age (so I’m under 55) but go with 44-59. Younger than 44 and they won’t get my jokes!

I’m not in London though / maybe that makes a difference?

And just as I was typing that a fit, dark 6 ft 2 39 year old WITH A BEARD(!) and a cute dog was favouriting me. Has a degree, good job but lives FOUR FUCKING HOURS AWAY. How bloody unlucky am I?

peanuthedz is that from the bicycle crash? I forgot about that. Are you OK? I didn't mention that I also had an embarrassing accident last week showing off on roller skates. I am still covering up my legs a week later and my children are mortified.

Hi @Ant330
Sorry to piggy back on the back of Nestofswipers post but would you mind checking out my profile for some feedback please? Haven't had any matches in days and days, and I've been doing a lot of swipe rights.

i think part of my problem is location - I am very rural. I'm around 20 miles from three cities, so I put my distance to 25 miles. But I think men in these cities only put a radius of say 5 miles, so I dont come up on their radar. Why would they date someone an hour away when they have potentially a lot more to choose from in their city?
It could not be that at all, though - it could be a humdinger of a clanger on my profile.

Just looked again at the profile of the guy I am meeting for coffee on Saturday afternoon - Mr FX Trader. He says he is 46 but he looks to be in his mid 50s. I have nothing against that, in fact he is in my target age range, but I do have mixed feelings about someone who shaves so much off their age. Unless of course he really is 46 and just looks a lot older.

Mr Sales, who I am meeting for a drink on Friday night, also says that he is 46 and he actually looks his age. Bald with a nice beard.

Stealth why do guys favourite us when they live so far away. I get that too and it is so frustrating.

The problem with men is that their testosterone levels fall off a cliff when they reach 40 years old if they are not careful, they gets the rotund belly due to a fatty liver and moobs. A man loses about 2% of muscle every year from that age, and his sex drive and motivation goes. He simply needs to lift weights and do power based exercises and change his diet to a high protein one. That's what I did when I noticed changes happening in my body and it has reversed.

I've had awesome sex with men in their mid-50s - you definitely can't write off a whole generation. It's probably the decade where bad choices and poor lifestyle catch up with people.

I'm not a very big drinker and work out regularly so want someone similar. Fortunately found that with Mr BC - although I am a bit on the cougar bench as he's 7 years younger than me ...

lilyrose88 I know it is annoying. I used to reply to the ones who sent messages and one was a 3rd year student about 3 hours away and he offered to move near me! We had a lovely conversation about his dissertation but it would feel wrong/ immoral to date someone so young so it inevitably went nowhere.

I bumped into a work colleague the other day whom I hadn't seen in about 10 years. I lost a lot of weight since then and shaved off the hill-billy beard that I used to sport. She said I looked ten years younger now than I did then.

So that means 10 years ago I looked 20 years older than I was. Or now I look 20 years younger than I am. Or a combination of both. I think. Maybe. Fuck it, I don't know. Is everyone still following?!?

So I bit the bullet and sent a long rambling message to MrFox to say that I'm basically not sure we are going anywhere but that I enjoy spending time with him etc and that if he feels the same then we should call it a day and stay friends....
He phoned me instantly (he never phones) and said that he thought that he was coming on too strong at one point so has been fighting himself to hold back in case he scared me away
So it seems we are in a similar mindset and he's coming over tonight to ravish me for dinner

Just come back from a first meeting with someone from Fab - let's call him Mr Biker - and omg total fanny gallops as well as being blown away.....very much in danger of overinvesting now and wanting more than he may be able to give.....if we'd met on Match it might have been different. Haven't felt like this about anyone in a long time! There'll be something wrong won't there, this doesn't happen to me.

The problem with men is that their testosterone levels fall off a cliff when they reach 40 years old if they are not careful, they gets the rotund belly due to a fatty liver and moobs. A man loses about 2% of muscle every year from that age, and his sex drive and motivation goes. He simply needs to lift weights and do power based exercises and change his diet to a high protein one. That's what I did when I noticed changes happening in my body and it has reversed.

MrSAS is 49 and has the biggest sex drive I have ever known and the stamina to go with it. He is also very fit (in both senses) but like @vwman says, he goes to the gym regularly and drinks protein shakes and takes vitamins and has a healthy diet. I am 40 and do not feel like he is 9 years older than me!

To be fair I don't need/want a guy who has massively high testosterone levels as I am very out of practice and the idea of a galloping libido is a bit frightening . I just want a guy who looks reasonably fit for his age and likes sex/doesn't have ED.

I have just been contacted by a guy I was chatting to on Tinder last week and loosely arranged to meet on Wednesday after work. He is 50 and works in private banking. I had completely forgotten about him as he lives in London and I had sort of written him off as the conversation had fizzled out. He isn't drop dead gorgeous but he is worth a date as he might be a nice guy.

@putastrawunderbaby sounds promising! :)

ED, assuming it is not temporary due to stress, is simply a blood supply issue. A man having plaque in his arteries. Again his body stops producing nitric oxide after 40, so he needs to eat nitrate rich plant foods plenty of fruit and veg, spinach (yes popeye was right) beetroot, watermelon, pomegrante etc. You will never get a vegan with ED because they eat a high nitrate based diet. But a man with ED is a heart attack waiting to happen.

vwman Well Mr Tiler was a vegetarian so maybe it was stress rather than a blood supply issue. But it lasted for 3 months so I reckon there was an underlying emotional issue which needed addressing.

I will be suggesting a plant based diet to all my potential irons aged over 50 then .

@Ceebeegee yes no problem. I will caveat this with I'm no OLD expert ;) but happy to provide feedback. PM me.

@Ant330 thank you, a fresh set of eyes might pick up some big no-nos

ceebeegee its always good to have some help reviewing your OLD profile. I had some helpful feedback on mine from one of the guys here.

VW- A man who produces no nitric oxide will indeed have ED

Mainly because he’ll be dead.

Won't the rigor mortis help?

@shitwithsugaron and supercali thank you - we both seem to want to see each other again, yes, but nothing arranged yet....I'm going to wait and see if he suggests something. He knows I'm interested. We did talk about both being on ordinary dating sites as well as Fab.....maybe there's hope!!! Mustn't think too much.....so hard to relax and just go with it though!

I thought there was psychological and phsyical ED. In much the same way some women have never achieved climax or find it problematic - in many I assume there's a physical reason, but I know 2 women for whom it's psychological/relaxation issues. So....men surely must have situations where anxiety/depression/stress can cause it

@Ant330 hahahaha!

@putastrawunderbaby Didn't someone further back in the threads mention that a lot of people on Fab aren't there just for the sex but see it as just another dating site option. Tbh, I can see why people do it - it seems to be much more 'direct'. As in the men (and women I guess) don't see the need to fake a dating situation just for sex. They just put it out there....looking for sex and if dating happens, so be it :)