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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Dating Thread 138: Hotter Than July

999 replies

CoverMeLads · 06/08/2018 19:51

Dating thread rules:

  1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
  2. Develop a thick skin.
  3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
  4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
  5. Trust your gut instinct.
  6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
  7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
  8. If it's not fun, stop.
  9. Loo update is mandatory.
10. No dating the thread. 11.Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
CoverMeLads · 06/08/2018 19:54

Hope you don’t mind; I got the 100th with my relentless gobshitery.
Where’s Smeaton and his thread-ending jokes? That’s what I want to know......

I’ve reinstated rule 10, by the way, hope that’s OK with the Thread Massive.

OP posts:
CoverMeLads · 06/08/2018 19:55

MN needs an edit function. It really does.

OP posts:
SaintEyning · 06/08/2018 19:59

Cover, that is a special moment, that message at the end of the last thread. Like word salad of jelly flobbering around a wet plate.

I got a whole poem/song in a message yesterday, as a first contact. No idea what to do with that one apart from file in the round, basket-looking folder.

I’m definitely not into chatting for ages before arranging to meet (and also require a level of correctness of SPAG that some may deem pedantic), but I do want to know a little bit more about them than just the “I love yoga and travelling” or which Smiths lyrics they favour.

wishywashy6 · 06/08/2018 20:20

Place marking Grin

CoverMeLads · 06/08/2018 20:36

Hey Saint waves

To quote Jimmy Cricket: “cm’ere, there’s more” but I’ll limit my posting of them I think, as it’s probably going to generate me some really bad dating karma. Like that’d make a difference mirthless laughter

And so, you could always share said poem 😈 just deleting any identifying characteristics. If you fancied. Just saying.

Smiths lyrics? SMITHS LYRICS? I yearn for a man who has a favourite Smiths lyric.

OP posts:
BendyLikeBeckham · 06/08/2018 20:37

cover Thanks for the new thread. That message you posted was funny. I get some like that too. More interesting than just 'hi there'!

daffo If you are looking for 'the one' it might well take that long. Not me!! (actively avoiding any such romantic connotations)

DaffoDeffo · 06/08/2018 20:54

Ha! I have been writing songs this week but I am definitely not about to release them to potentially psychotic men on the internet lol.

I have 3 dates lined up this week - trying to think of names for them all. I have chosen 3 I am not sure I will be physically attracted to but I really like the cut of their jibe if you get my drift. All bumble.
Mr River - least likely to go further but a really nice interesting guy
Mr Wood - my favourite and if I fancy him and he's not insane, likely to be a goer
Mr Past - we have a lot in common but absolutely no idea of the chemistry

Am also going camping/backpacking on my own next week for a few days before work madness begins again and I'm really looking forward to that

End of next week, Mr Sex is back and we are off to a show together on Friday. He is messaging me every day he's away, normally just 1 or 2 pics. He is not a man of words.

POF continues to be disastrous other than one bloke who on paper is so unsuited to me (tattooed football yob is the kindest description) but he is extremely witty in his messages so I am pondering what to do with him :).

DaffoDeffo · 06/08/2018 20:55

Sorry phone eating my paragraphs again!

DaffoDeffo · 06/08/2018 20:57

Oh and Mr Yobbo (let's call him that) picked up the song lyric reference in my profile and then quoted some of his favourite songs back to me..nearly fell off my chair!

DaffoDeffo · 06/08/2018 20:57

Yes where is smeaton?
I just hope he found love and doesn't need us anymore!

SaintEyning · 06/08/2018 21:02

Ok, Cover, you asked... I have no idea how to paste a screenshot on here - and there appear to be at least five - yes, five - verses (although it is impossible to distinguish them from the chorus as it has been written in a WALL OF TEXT). I can only guess it is someone else’s work. But it’s total cheese - and if that means I have dissed some classic, so be it... I only really like the Smiths, anyway*

*possibly not completely true

“When your heart's in someone else's hands
Monkey see and monkey do
Their wish is your command
Not to blame
Everyone's the same
All you do is love and love is all you do
I should know by now the way I fought for you
You're not to blame, everyone's the same
I know you think that you're safe
Mister”

TomHardysBitontheside · 06/08/2018 21:02

So I'm just on my way home from my first date with Mr Travel. He's been sending lovely, long, correctly punctuated messages. Sadly he looked nothing like his profile photos, and whilst he was lovely and extremely intelligent there was no spark. He didn't ask me for a second date and if he does, I don't know what I'll say.

I have realised how important it is to meet up quickly though. I have no others lined up right now, which is fine. I've just spent the weekend at a festival with friends and had the best time. The longer I'm single, the more I'm enjoying my own company and that of my friends.

TomHardysBitontheside · 06/08/2018 21:04

daffo that's great having so many dates lined up. Good work!! And enjoy the camping. I love my own company more and more.

cover thanks for the new thread.

BendyLikeBeckham · 06/08/2018 21:34

daffo I love camping, and I'm doing a whole weekend festival on my own soon. Not wild camping mind!

Can you not find a date to take with you? It's got to be better with some hot tent action, eh!?

Kinunir · 06/08/2018 21:36

Not having to go into the office again until the end of the month, and DD going on hols tomorrow, give me options aplenty now. Just a few weeks until I'm back to work properly so I'm on a mission to get as many dates in as I can before then!

dancemom · 06/08/2018 21:53

Place marking

Haven't posted recently cos I'm breaking so many rules it's unbelievable .... I will sort myself out this thread!

ColdNeverBotheredMeAnyway · 06/08/2018 22:25

I have an update on my dead end leads from POF.

Mr Shiftworker... who works 12 hour shifts, and messages briefly each morning before disappearing for another 24 hours... but has suggested a date when he gets off his shift rotation in 2 weeks...

He messaged today "Morning x".. I replied a while later with "Morning, How are you?". He read it, did not reply. Has been online several times this evening. Nothing... why bother?

Mr Traveller, who was sending lovely long messages, then messaged all evening on Thursday, suggested he'd phone me Sunday, but then disappeared....

I messaged him today to wish him luck in his new job. He replied apologising for disappearing all weekend, he went to visit friends (oh and didn't have his phone? Hmmm) he was friendly and chatty. I replied. He replied with a nice message and "cheers, have a good evening"... so that shut down that conversation.

FFS. Why do men sign up to OLD if they don't actually want to chat?

Sunflower6 · 06/08/2018 22:59

Hi does anyone have any tips for declining a 2nd date nicely by text? I had a first date with a guy yesterday whose profile pictures were clearly out of date and it was rather hard going and no spark. I want to let him down nicely as I was rejected rather abruptly recently and don't want to do that to someone else.

Lovemusic33 · 06/08/2018 23:05

Marking my place although trying to have a break (trying hard)

So a old iron has contacted me. Mr Marathon who I dated last Christmas, I really like him but he basically did what Mr Camper has done and vanished, after 48 hours of him not replying to texts I blocked him, thought he was married (after doing a bit of stalking). I tried so hard not to message back but caved in. It is likely to end badly.

MaggieMuggins · 06/08/2018 23:06

Hello folks, just joining the new thread. I have been on holiday so not dating/chatting to anyone but read all of the last thread and have been following all the trials and tribulations...

Cold I think you need to remember Rule 2! The online chatting is incredibly fickle for the most part. Reading messages and not replying in my book means 'they're not that into you' and move on. I quite like Bumble as you can't see who is online and whether they have read a message, takes the stress away. I'm going to download some new apps now I'm home and will prob be in your shoes in a few days' time (& you can remind me of Rule 2 then please Grin)

Kinunir · 06/08/2018 23:07

It is likely to end badly.

Block him NOW! You cannot be dealing with this!

MaggieMuggins · 06/08/2018 23:11

Sunflower How about 'it was really nice to meet you but I don't want to take things any further'? Blandish but should get the message across?

Love I've been following your crappy week. Sorry about the twat who stood you up at the VW festival and Mr CV Sad. Please don't get involved with someone else who is likely to treat you badly, you don't need that right now. Block and delete, you will thank yourself for it. Have a read of Baggage Reclaim for a bit of inspiration, it helped me when I was chasing a Mr Unavailable...

VetOnCall · 06/08/2018 23:13

Just checking in, thanks for the new thread Cover

Lovemusic33 · 06/08/2018 23:18

Thanks Maggie
The guy who stood me up at the vw festival has messaged me today saying he feels very guilty, he assumed I would find others to meet up with I probably could have but I struggle to approach strangers (most of them are in groups which is hard for me). He has said sorry many times. He’s not dating material but thought he was a reliable type of person. He has invited me to join him and his family (kids) camping one weekend.

I haven’t heard anything else from Mr Camper, although I’m angry I’m not too bothered, I think it was the fact I had a rubbish few days and he just added too it. I have deleted his last message without reading it and have deleted the chat on WhatsApp so I can’t see him on my list. The weekend was just one thing after another, I have spent most of today feeling sorry for myself but have now picked myself up ready to carry on (and probably make more mistakes).

HalfDutchGirl · 06/08/2018 23:36

I’m still lurking too and putting my mark on this new thread!