Dating Thread 138: Hotter Than July

[CoverMeLads]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11.Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

daffo maybe there is a reason why he hasn't been in touch? Sometimes there is.

Anyway, hope you are ok. Onwards and upwards!

Bendy I would like to think there was but there isn't. This is a man who sent a message the first time he woke up and last thing at night and called every day for 2-3 hours! Not me driving it at all. This is ghosting to the extreme! Remember how I said I was doing everything not to be involved and invested argh.

I think it is mainly because he is new to OLD. Man like him will shop around and I suspect that is what he's doing. He has moved on to next person and is messaging and calling them like he did me. No way you can do that with 2 women - there aren't enough hours in the day. Hey ho. We live and learn.

Daffo I'm sorry to hear about Mr NY. I hate that when they're so full on before you meet. Then after meeting once that's it. I had a date with Mr Doctor earlier this year and he had been very full on in messaging. After we met he did tell me he wasn't interested but I did tell him the way he had treated me before we met gave very wrong impressions.

So.....I met Mr Museum last night. And it was lovely!! He is as lovely in real life as he is on the phone. We held hands almost straight away and kissed after about 5 minutes! We got on so well. I don't think I've ever met anyone I connect with like this. He's very laid back and open and honest, which I like. We just talked and laughed all night and it was so easy. We're meeting at the weekend and I won't be going home . I won't go to the smitten bench just yet, but it won't be long

You held hands Tom? Next you'll be saying you got lost in each others' eyes and finished the night with a discussion over baby names .

Seriously though, glad it went well with Mr Museum - fingers crossed your weekend date is even more deeply satisfying and enjoyable.

Just dipping in and out and trying to catch up.

I have a date with Mr Kayak on Sunday but not really feeling it, he has hardly messaged for 24 hours after being really keen. He wants to go to the cinema which isn’t really my idea of a date (can’t get to know someone in a cinema), I will see if he messages today, if not I will assume it’s not happening.

Trying to hack away from Mr VW who obviously has huge self esteem issues.

One of my old irons messaged me a couple of days ago, we hadn’t spoken since he got funnny with me for not securing a date (and I admitted I was dating someone). Not sure why he has reapeared after I supposedly upset him.

Not much else going on, no exciting new irons but I haven’t really been trying, have had a few messages on POF but haven’t had time to respond and most live too far away.

Hahaha kin there was definitely no discussion about baby names!! I'm so glad we met up before the weekend. I now feel really relaxed about our date and am really looking forward to it.

Go Tom - so glad to hear you and Mr Museum hit it off.

I wouldn't like a cinema first date either Love. If you decide to go ahead with meeting him, could you suggest something else?

tom your date sounds lovely! Kissing after 5 minutes :) :)

vet super duper excited for you!!

I've been a bit crazy with socialising and shit. I am now officially 40. Yesterday i had a lovely meet up with an old university friend. It was impromtu, he was in Portugal. We weren't really really close but I always felt drawn to him. He tried it on once, I declined as was in a relationship with my now ex. He married young also, and has also recently seperated. It was so so lovely to see him, and he is so reflective (compared to my ex). We sat up drinking wine until late, and got on like we used too. No snogging or anything, just nice male company.

I was supposed to be seeing Mr Surf/ Ski tonight, but I havent seen FWB for over 2 weeks and I cancelled Surf/ski in favour of sex. I am awful. I have rearranged with surf/ski for tomorrow when we will go for sushi then cinema.

I don't know what to make of him, hes lovely, we have snogged, but i dont feel the urge to take it further with him. Argggghhh.

Oh an if any one remembers the man I saw that was like "hes the one" he was at my gym today. He is not the one anymore (dodgy get up). How fickle?

That's amazing Tom! So pleased for you. I hope it's the same for me on Saturday, but naively optimistic as it may sound, I'm pretty certain that it will be. We've talked and video called almost constantly, time difference and work allowing. I just have such a strong good feeling about him and it's entirely reciprocated so I'm willing the next couple of days to pass!

Good luck vet, I'm sure it will be fab and tom it sounds brill

I'm not too down because I really hadn't invested too much thank goodness but I am still shocked I think that people behave that way. I have really seen the worst of OLD in the last few weeks. But I'm a pretty confident person luckily so don't take it too personally. God knows what poor women these type of men end up with. Imagine doing that to someone after a few months!

Have a few new irons in the fire.

Mr Music2 (not the one who stood me up who is still lurking, a different one) who is a fair bit younger than me but seems fantastic. Will possibly arrange to see him next week.

Still pondering date 3 with Mr Northern.

Mr Boring - who seems quite boring on text but every now and then says something hugely amusing. Have asked if he wants to meet but he is shy I can tell.

Mr Music1 (the one who stands me up). We have weirdly become friends. He would be a useless relationship person but I wouldn't rule out a fwb with him as he is bloody gorgeous . If he ever turned up.

FWB wants to see whether we can do something this weekend. After the 2 weeks i have had with horrendous men, it's probably just what I need!

Where are my paragraphs. Arghhhhhh

After good second first date on Sunday I now have another ‘date’ with someone else tomorrow. Well I’m just going to his house so can’t really classify it as a date!! Not sure I could ever date this guy but i won’t sleep with him either, just a film and kisses.

Another guy I was messaging over the weekend has just gone back offshore for three weeks starting Monday and text to say ‘the count down was on till our date’ ... he’d originally said he could still text when offshore but seems to have no decided he can’t so will see what happens there!

Tom I am so pleased for you that you guys have hit it off so well..... This is amazing news. Ahhhhh I feel so happy about that.

Sorry for all the people having a crap time with ghosting type behaviour - grrrr. Seriously? Just be honest and upfront with people.... It isn't hard.

I have moved on from Mr I am not ready yet and linking up this eve with an old FWB, it will certainly take my mind off things that's for sure.

Have a coffee date arranged on Sunday with a man I'm going to call Mr Style. He dresses so well & so far has made me laugh quite a bit on messages. Keep on keeping on x

I know this has been explained many times before but how on earth does OKC work?
I've convinced a friend to try it but neither of us can work it out. If someone sends you a message can you only see it if you have liked them? She's got loads of likes but can't do anything with them.

@runsforcake, I'm on Ok Cupid. You can message anyone but they won't see until they swipe. And then it will say you've messaged them.

I've been swiping. If you both swipe right and match , either can message and it will show in your messages.

I've put at the top of my blurb that I can only see messages not likes.

Thanks cool

You can see the messages if you look through Discovery in OKC. It usually puts them near the top of your pile in the person's profile (this is if you haven't liked them yet) but it's random. I sometimes find a message from ages ago in there.

Otherwise it's just how it was explained below.

As my gardening leave comes to an end ahead of starting my new job on Monday I'm feeling quite relieved that I will soon be busy again - all the dating of the last three months has left me feeling quite burned out.

I am a little concerned that work may get in the way of my love life now though!

Wow this thread moves fast.

Disappear for a bit and I nearly missed the whole thing again.

Tom, that really does sound very positive, hope things continue just as well.

Kinunir, good luck for the new job and multitasking.

Things are still going well this side, heating up bit. I had to pull back on a few arrangements as I felt just a little overwhelmed, but sure it is also as it is a bit of new territory for me.

He prompted a discussion about it after and said he realised that he might have been a bit full on, apologised and said that he didn't intend to put pressure on me, just enjoys my company a lot.

We are off out tomorrow night for a meal and drinks. I am stupidly excited. Sigh. He is really so very nice to be around.

Good luck with the new job Kin.

Aw, highlighta that sounds great. Enjoy your night out tomorrow.

Glad you have plenty of irons Daffo

Vixen hope you had a good evening with FWB and Mr Style is nice on Sunday.

Yes Margo. I had a great evening just what I needed. We both know where we stand and it's a good FWB+ arrangement we have going on. I'd never want a relationship with him but it works so I'm not complaining. Helped to soften the blow of Mr Emotionally Unavailable #38359382728385

🤣😂

If someone adds you to their favourites on POF, would you think they were interested in you? I've had 2 in the last couple of days. Sent them both a message, just 'hi, I noticed you've added on favourites'. No reply from either.

I've been back on OLD for almost a month now.
Zero matches on Tinder and Bumble.
A grand total of 7 messages received on POF. All from the usual potato head brigade.
A zillion messages sent. Zero replies.

And one blind date with a man with no teeth.

I've never had it as bad as this. I'm gritting my teeth and hanging in there until the end of September. But I'm struggling with the constant rejection.

Good to hear some success stories. Gives me little hope.

On POF, I wouldn't Runs. If they can't be bothered to message me, then I take it they are not really that interested.

Have you got some fresh photos you could put up? How about mixing it up a bit with your "About You" bit?

Liking the potato head descriptor. So many with mash instead of brains!

Margo I've put up new photos and had a little tweak of my profile, thanks to people on this thread.
Nothing seems to make any difference. It's a busy day if one person looks at my profile!

So many with mash instead of brains! Explains why they can't read. Most don't even live anywhere close.

@kin, good luck with the new job.

@Daffo gutting when it doesn't work out after so much chat but sounds like you've brushed yourself down and cracked on!

I'm getting jaded despite a good breather from dating!

I went to see an old friend last weekend (totally platonic) - at the end of the weekend, he expressed relief that I hadn't made a move on him. It wasn't remotely on the cards! I did call him out on it but I think its a friendship that is now over :-(.

Other irons - had to say a polite thanks but no after about 5 messages in a row asking me how I was and a creepy voice note - no thanks.

MrBeard has asked me out for saturday coffee but has gone quiet.

MrCat is a new iron, seems lovely but new to OLD so am sure he will be like a kid in a sweetie shop.

Lastly still seeing FWB which is the highlight at the moment. Sigh!