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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

What now

158 replies

averageguy1 · 11/03/2018 20:10

Quick background been together 5yrs both early 50s never lived together...relationship has had the usual ups and downs as expected. We went out last night for drinks with friends had a lovely evening got back to mine and after a small disagreement over food my partner punched me in the face about 6-10 times on two occasions resulting in a nasty gash to my nose and cuts to my face i didnt hit back just took it.
Today my partner doesnt know why it happened and is very apologetic i am left with a dilema do i finish it which i know will be painful or accept the apology..i am not going to report it as an assault and i know what my advise would be to a friend if in simular circumstances but its so much harder making the decision when its your own problem ,

OP posts:
BIWI · 11/03/2018 20:11

Gosh. You really have to ask? You don't live together. Your partner has crossed a (very serious) line. Time to go your separate ways.

AnyFucker · 11/03/2018 20:14

You end it

No more questions. No more discussion.

early20s · 11/03/2018 20:14

No questions asked. He's punched you in the face!!!! Get out of that environment right away. No one deserves that

NormaNameChange · 11/03/2018 20:15

If you aren't going to report this, I think at the least you need to be apart. This is never acceptable and if he doesnt know why it happened, how can he or you be sure it wont happen again. Have you got checked out? Hope your ok Flowers

Aprilmightmemynewname · 11/03/2018 20:15

Take some selfies so you aren't tempted to forget. If you can't report him then at least ltb.

HuckfromScandal · 11/03/2018 20:15

You leave
Sadly
And be glad you were not living together
And they seek help

FlyingwithBaby · 11/03/2018 20:15

LTB

GreenMeerkat · 11/03/2018 20:16

Get out now!!!

I mean NOW!

Nobody should EVER put up with that level of violence in a relationship.

I'd also report him to the police.

Original poster
averageguy1 · 11/03/2018 20:17

I am a man not woman and yes i have taken pictures .

OP posts:
Growuphelen · 11/03/2018 20:17

Go. Leave. Do not look back. He doesnt know why he did it ? Because he's a bastard that's why. Forgive this and it teaches him he can do it again. I've been there.

AnyFucker · 11/03/2018 20:18

Your sex is irrelevant

GreenMeerkat · 11/03/2018 20:18

Apologies for the assumption (using him). But it doesn't make a blind bit of difference that you are a man.

Get out now. Go... don't look back.

Joysmum · 11/03/2018 20:18

Today my partner doesnt know why it happened and is very apologetic i am left with a dilema do i finish it

If he doesn’t know why it happened then he can’t take steps to ensure it doesn’t happen again. Apologies aren’t enough, you’re in danger.

Why wouldn’t you report it? Why stay?

Imagine if someone punched someone you love in the face repeatedly in a sustained attack. Why wouldn’t you want their attacker to be caught and punished?

NymeriaStark · 11/03/2018 20:18

I’m actually shocked reading this.

There should be no dilemma-end it now.

Tallulahstightsaretight · 11/03/2018 20:24

Run and don’t look back make it female is irrelevant

Tallulahstightsaretight · 11/03/2018 20:25

I meant
* male or female is irrelevant

GrooovyLass · 11/03/2018 20:35

You've not said if your partner is male or female but that doesn't matter. End it now and thank the lord you don't live together.

mistermagpie · 11/03/2018 20:35

End it and don't look back. You know you have to. Poor you, that must have been horrific.

Gemini69 · 11/03/2018 20:37

averageguy1

your gender has no bearing on the assault you have endured my lovely... please think on... accepting this apology .. now having happened once.. it is likely to happen again because a boundary has been broken ...

I agree with everyone ... you must for your own safety end this ..
and I'm so sorry to read what has happened to you Flowers

Spottytop1 · 11/03/2018 20:37

You end it, it WILL happen.
Your partner's behaviour is not acceptable.
Walk away now before it happens again.

Want2beme · 11/03/2018 20:38

You must be be devastated. I hope you're doing ok. I don't think you should continue the relationship with him. You'll never trust him again.

Original poster
averageguy1 · 11/03/2018 20:53

Thanks for all the replies and i know gender is irrelevant , i am going to end the relationship it affects other family members but its the right thing to do ...all aside its going to be tough you just cannot stop the feeling of love you have for someone.
Thanks again.

OP posts:
SandyY2K · 11/03/2018 20:53

That's an awful lot of punches. I wouldn't feel safe in the relationship after that attack.

Coyoacan · 11/03/2018 20:58

Glad you are going to end it.

its going to be tough you just cannot stop the feeling of love you have for someone

I know, been there and foolishly did forgive the first time. Because it is only the first time..

Screaminginsideme · 11/03/2018 20:59

Good luck op. Your partner crossed a line that can never be uncrossed. One that should be a hard line for everyone.
You are brave and strong and will get past this.

If they did it once they will do it again.

Tell people, tell everyone. You have nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about and it will help you to not go back

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