What now

[averageguy1]

Quick background been together 5yrs both early 50s never lived together...relationship has had the usual ups and downs as expected. We went out last night for drinks with friends had a lovely evening got back to mine and after a small disagreement over food my partner punched me in the face about 6-10 times on two occasions resulting in a nasty gash to my nose and cuts to my face i didnt hit back just took it.
Today my partner doesnt know why it happened and is very apologetic i am left with a dilema do i finish it which i know will be painful or accept the apology..i am not going to report it as an assault and i know what my advise would be to a friend if in simular circumstances but its so much harder making the decision when its your own problem ,

Had a good weekend lots of analysing my failed relationship and quality time with my Dd ( she is a13yr old angel ) lots of domestic stuff to take my mind off things then a message off my exp ...

" If you had done to me what i did to you i would forgive you for love , no pressure just saying thats what i would do"

God i was doing so well and now i am feeling sorry for her, she has been out with friends all weekend and now late Sunday she is sending me stuff like that ....

that was a calculating manipulative self absorbed message because you would never punch someone violently in the face countless times and call that love... she is manipulating you all over again.... interestingly and charming that she only thinks of you now the fanfare of the weekend is wearing off and reality hits.. poor her I think not... do not even respond to such weak pathetic attempts to make you doubt yourself and keep your dignity intact.. if not for you .. then for your wonderful daughter who will have cherished every moment you shared this weekend....

OP - has she ever tried to explain, soul search - for what actually happened?
Sorry if it was mentioned upthread - I didn’t read it all, only the beginning.
And - has she offered to try to remedie - anger counselling, etc?

I guess - what I am trying to ask - in your original post it seems like it was totally out of character.
And, I am not saying one needs to forgive abuse - far from it.
Unless - it was a one-off that can be explained somehow - spiked drink, hormonal problems, brain tumour - that does sometimes make people do weird things.

Block her every avenue to you

Get a new phone or change the number.

And the difference is you wouldn’t have hit her so there would be nothing to forgive. Having her back would send a very bad message to your dd also. Your dd needs to see that you don’ treat people you ‘love’ like a punchbag. She is manipulating you. Stand firm.

Block, block, block.

Bollox just reported my own message ...

Didnt realise contact details on ...

Wow. What a horrible person she clearly is. That message is so manipulative, self centred, remorseless and just nasty. You are well rid!

nobody's ringing her mate... it's ok..

but yes that's a nasty manipulative message.. seriously.. Block and move on

I reported too ;)

she rates Domestic Violence under the umbrella of 'it should be forgiven because that's what love means...'

Good Lord she's a piece of work indeed.....

The guy Im seeing was with a violent woman for years. It makes no difference that you are the man and she the woman.

Run and do not look back. Block. Her. Ass. On. Everything. Do not feel sorry for it, its not a real person you're feeling for. It's a manipulation.

She may start badmouthing you etc, do not let that get to you either.

Thanks to you all i saw it for exactly what it is a manipulative message just wish i had blanked out her detail...just blocked her on that outlet i think thats everything blocked Mumsnet is amazing used you all of you when i got divorced (under a different name) thanks again, got a feeling i will be back..

Keep up the good fight OP. Be kind to you and yours, first and last.
Keep well.

I've reported it too. Hopefully they'll get to it soon.

Things will look up soon.

I was shocked reading your OP and delighted to see you’ve ended it and told people about this. Abusive people rely on secret keeping.
FWIW I think “Jacks” is a manipulative bitch and you are well out of it.
Onwards and upwards... stay the course you are doing amazingly.

She’s trying to make you feel bad when she punched you repeatedly in the face. What kind of person would do that? One who is not at all remorseful. You’re absolutely doing the right thing, stay strong

She is such an absolute bitch op. You are so well rid. Stay strong x

Thank you to admin for removing my post , had a terrible day after the message last night not helped by the fact we live close to each other and i saw her on the school run this morning. Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day ...wish i could fast forward a few months.

He knows why he did it, he was angry. Violence is not the way to deal with a disagreement. Please leave this brut. How dare he put his hands on you.... Twice. You need to love yourself because if you did, you would not accept this relationship. Please take care. X

School runs can be hell for a great many reasons....

try to change your routine even my ten mins.. might make all the difference in missing certain people on route..

averageguy1 - just read this and cannot believe what an awful situation you have just left. Not only was your ex manipuating you for money, she is also abusive and totally unable to take responsibility. I would be very careful around such a person and do my best to avoid her as it sounds like she knows how to get to you. Some counselling might help you avoid such a person in the future.

The more i read the great replies and look back on the last few years i am feeling that i have been manipulated whether on purpose or subconsciously, she was getting more out of the relationship all i was doing was running around trying to keep her happy .