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Original poster

New bf hasn't wished me happy Xmas

182 replies

Lonelyatxmas · 25/12/2016 18:37

We've been dating for about eight weeks. Had a bit of a blip when he found out I'd kissed someone else between our first and second date and he backed off after having initially come on strong.

I explained that it was a huge mistake and we got through it and are still seeing each other. I realised how much I like him and was massively relieved.

Had a lovely chat Thursday then I whatsapped him yesterday to wish him a happy Xmas but no reply. I'm a bit hurt. Should I forget about him?

OP posts:
HollyBollyBooBoo · 25/12/2016 18:39

Assuming he's not ill, in hospital or dead then it's a pretty poor start to a relationship if he can't even say Happy Christmas!

I'd leave it and see if he ever makes contact again.

Original poster
Lonelyatxmas · 25/12/2016 18:41

We've got a date planned next week. And going to a NYE party together. Should I cancel if I don't hear from him today?

OP posts:
category12 · 25/12/2016 18:45

Ugh, what? You've had to "work through" having kissed someone else between your 1st and 2nd date? Doesn't that strike you as worrying? I mean, we are talking about dates, right?

sonjadog · 25/12/2016 18:45

Might just be busy with family. I would leave it for now.

madgingermunchkin · 25/12/2016 18:56

You had one date. You shouldn't have to "work through" having kissed someone else, it's none of his business.

You've had a lucky escape, run like hell.

Original poster
Lonelyatxmas · 25/12/2016 19:00

Well it's a little more complicated category as we were flirting for ages before he finally asked me out and I know from a friend that he's been in love with me for over a year.

That's why it's so disappointing that he's done a vanishing act today.

But maybe he's just busy with family as sonjadog says and is assuming that since we spoke on Xmas eve and have already made a next date, doesn't need to be in touch til then. I don't know. Feels like I'm clutching at straws a bit.

OP posts:
Original poster
Lonelyatxmas · 25/12/2016 19:02

Also we DTD after the first date Blush

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 25/12/2016 19:03

You know what? It should be fun just now. It shouldn't be work and drama. If it is, it's a wrong relationship. I'd dump.

Original poster
Lonelyatxmas · 25/12/2016 19:03

Or rather I should say, on the first date

OP posts:
Original poster
Lonelyatxmas · 25/12/2016 19:05

I know expat. And it is really fun, he makes me laugh so much and we have an amazing time together. It's just today really. I thought he'd say happy Xmas and am disappointed that he hasn't.

OP posts:
PigletWasPoohsFriend · 25/12/2016 19:06

Assuming he's not ill, in hospital or dead then it's a pretty poor start to a relationship if he can't even say Happy Christmas!

Tbf it's a poor start to a relationship if you kiss other people Wink

category12 · 25/12/2016 19:09

It's not really - you're not responsible for whatever the intensity of his feelings or the length of time prior to dating he has claimed such feelings. You've only just started dating - it's odd and concerning that you're already 'the guilty party' for not treating it as seriously as he wants you to. I just think it's well dodgy to have to 'work through' something like that.

And now the disappearing act - I predict the hot & cold treatment, and you soon won't know which way is up. Guard up, chook.

Original poster
Lonelyatxmas · 25/12/2016 19:09

YY piglet. It was a big mistake on my part. And he has been really understanding although he was hurt obviously. I was just really confused about this other bloke at the time but the minute I kissed him I knew it meant nothing. To be fair, I had been single for a while until both of them decided to ask me out!

OP posts:
category12 · 25/12/2016 19:10

And sex doesn't equal now we're serious and monogamous.

LotsoNumbers · 25/12/2016 19:12

Sex doesn't mean you owe him a serious relationship. Sounds like he's trying to mess with your head with his blowing hot and cold. Nobody is too busy for a text

Original poster
Lonelyatxmas · 25/12/2016 19:13

I'm just wondering whether I'm being a drama lama or whether to end it now

OP posts:
BeyonceRiRiMadonnna · 25/12/2016 19:23

OP I certainly wouldn't be cutting him off just yet, I'm a 3 strikes and you're out person, maybe a sucker for punishment, but we all don't function/think the same etc.!

Yes I do think you are being a bit off a drama lama......I woke up this morning to loads of Merry Christmas messages, I've only just replied,

  1. I just wasn't in the mood to respond and
  2. I was cooking;
  3. I went on a hike;
  4. I was eating, showering!

It's that time of year when we are all busy with our loved ones, hopefully he texts back, but even if he doesn't see what happens over the next 24 hours. RELAX and STEP AWAY FROM MUMSNET!

TokenGinger · 25/12/2016 19:52

Tbf it's a poor start to a relationship if you kiss other people

I'm sorry, I don't agree. One date does not equal exclusivity. I've been doing online dating previously where I've been on dates with a few people in a short period of time and if I felt to kiss them, I did.

Also no, I don't think you're being a drama llama. One poster just said she wasn't in the mood to respond. If a guy who's "madly in love with you" isn't in the mood to wish you a happy Christmas, he doesn't care for you as much as he proclaims.

Hellooooitsme · 25/12/2016 19:54

Did you speak on Thursday or yesterday? I'm not sure from what you've posted.

Original poster
Lonelyatxmas · 25/12/2016 19:56

I've been thinking maybe he's trying to tell me something by not texting.

OP posts:
AmberEars · 25/12/2016 19:56

I wouldn't end it now just because of no text - I'd go on the date next week and see how it goes.

Original poster
Lonelyatxmas · 25/12/2016 19:57

Helloooo We spoke on the phone Thursday then had a text conversation on Friday.

OP posts:
Original poster
Lonelyatxmas · 25/12/2016 19:59

*text on Friday and then a brief whatsapp exchange on xmas eve

OP posts:
Original poster
Lonelyatxmas · 25/12/2016 20:04

Sorry, I realised I wasn't very clear. So it was:

Phone convo on Thursday
Text exchange on Friday
WhatsApp on Friday (1 text from him to say looking forward to seeing me next week, I replied that I was looking forward to it too)

OP posts:
Original poster
Lonelyatxmas · 25/12/2016 20:05

Looking forward to seeing him too!

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