New bf hasn't wished me happy Xmas

[Lonelyatxmas]

We've been dating for about eight weeks. Had a bit of a blip when he found out I'd kissed someone else between our first and second date and he backed off after having initially come on strong.

I explained that it was a huge mistake and we got through it and are still seeing each other. I realised how much I like him and was massively relieved.

Had a lovely chat Thursday then I whatsapped him yesterday to wish him a happy Xmas but no reply. I'm a bit hurt. Should I forget about him?

Personally, i would interpret this as the end of things. It's christmas for goodness sake - And he's blanking you?! Find someone who really cares about you x

OP what time was the text read last night, or what time did you send it? I ask as could he have read it when drunk and then not replied immediately, and forgetting about it?
Doesn't really excuse that he should have reached out to you to wish you happy Xmas regardless of if you've text him first or not, but worth considering.
Before I was in a relationship this is exactly the kind of thing that would have spoiled my day. I think some people forget how something seemingly small can make you feel.

Oh god. This thread has made me realise that my habit of typing half a message and then going off to do something else and forgetting to finish my reply despite all best intentions is a lot more dangerous than I had realised... I don't think it's that big a deal, I'd give him the benefit of the doubt but can see I'm in the minority here...

Wow, bet you wish you'd never asked after seeing some of these responses! I get why you're upset but there could be a million reasons why he's not replied so don't read too much into it. Life is too short for messing about if you've found someone you like. I would just phone him today to say hello. And I'd make a joke of it 'ehh thanks for replying to my message....I was sat all day waiting for a reply!'. Good luck OP x

It sounds like he's punishing you over that snog which is utterly ridiculous. You weren't exclusive and it was only a snog. And you're not responsible for his feelings (i.e. Being 'in love with you for a year') so you don't owe him anything on that score. I agree with PP who question how that statement marries up with the way he has treated you over a snog.

It would have been better to have said 'yep, I snogged someone, we weren't exclusive and it didn't mean anything - move on!'

Unfortunately you've allowed him to dictate exclusivity after the fact and he's been able to enjoy making you first feel guilty then insecure as a way of getting back at you - he's not really revealing himself to be a great person. So I would:

A) stop giving yourself a hard time about the snog and if it ever comes up again point out that you weren't exclusive and it doesn't matter a jot
B) ask yourself what you're really getting out of this relationship and whether you really like him (bearing in mind his not so great behaviour) or it's just because he has pulled away/started messing you around
C) Don't contact him again. Focus on yourself, friends, family, put him in a box, lock it and tuck it away at the back of a cupboard and have some fun! You can't make him text you back but you can stop giving a festive fuck about it.

So much angst for an 8 week relationship.

Sounds like far too much stress! Run for the hills whilst you still have the chance

Huge red flags, OP.

He has you on the back foot all the time, second guessing him, appeasing him, not knowing how he feels....

This ime next year you will be back on here, complaining that he ignores you (but you Looove him SOOOO MCUH!) that he doesn't 'let' you see other people (but that's ok because you Looove him) and that he doesn't make much effort and why is that when he spent a YEAR in love with you???????

Get out now. Or at least have your guard up against controlling arsehole behaviour.

He might have no signal, he might be busy, he might not care. Get on with your own life, FGS, and IF he comes running, then take it from there.

As for now, assume he doesn't care, and move on.

I. All honesty I ALWAYS forget to reply to a text. Never to à whatsapp message though strangely enough.
Myself, I'm terrible at taking hints so I would've probably sent him
"Good morning love! How was your day yesterday? 😘" already... lol

Then if he didn't reply or was cold I'd probably get the hint.

Try it to worry yourself about it though, enjoy Boxing Day (its totally my fave day)

So he was in love with you for a year before you started dating but doesn't love you enough to send you "happy Christmas" on whatsapp... let alone, god forbid, pick up the phone. Ok

Also "I don't want to text again because I'll look desperate". Jeez, how old are you OP? If you're not in high school that kind of chat is silly. If you like him, text him whenever you want. If he likes you, he'll text you whenever you want.

If he doesn't text you, well he's just not that in to you. Or he's playing games, in which case don't waste your time!

Ha! I'm in exactly the same situation!

Got a lovely bloke who I've been seeing a couple of months. We've had a great relationship so far. He's always kind and chatty, and replies to texts!! In fact, usually it's him that texts me first.

Last contact with him was Weds before Xmas, so I sent a quick text yesterday just saying Merry Christmas, and.......nothing

wtf?!?? It's on Whatsapp, so I can see he read it, and I can see that he's using Whatsapp, but no reply?!?? Utterly bizarre, but there's no way I'm sending another text.

Exactly chocolate. WTF???!!

I hate this sort of thing and don't understand why people can't just be straight with one another instead of all this angst.
You messaged him, he's read it and not replied. He either forgot, replied but it didn't send or he's playing a game either way you're concerned, anxious and confused so message him again and be straight about it, if he's playing a game he's a cock and you can either play his game or put an end to it. If there's been an issue with the message going through then fair enough.
Message saying you messaged yesterday and not had a reply, you hope he's ok? And had a lovely day yesterday. If still no reply and it's been read then assume he's playing a game and await his next move (he will make one) and respond to his wails of attention seeking crap by telling him you're not children and you value openness, honesty and that perhaps he would be better off living with his mum

OP have you tried a follow up text yet?

I'd do the "hi, did you get my WA message?"
type message.

I felt a bit annoyed this morning as my BF had read my WA late yesterday then didn't reply, then didn't reply until late morning. Turns out he was obsessively putting together a toy that one of his kids received and ended up sleeping in late, when he was due here in the morning. Sometimes people do get busy or think they've messaged someone back and haven't.

Him being very annoyed by you kissing someone when you'd only had one date is odd though. I'd be more worried about that.

No I'm not going to text again.

Have you heard from him.? I just don't get it how long does it to send a text?

Nope. nothing. His silence is telling me something loud and clear.

Think I dodged a bullet TBH

Hope you're okay OP. I'd be really pissed.

I think you're right not to text him again. It's about having respect for yourself. You'd be teaching him that it's okay to ignore you, and you believe that you deserve so little that you'll continue to chase him even when he shows little thought for you.

Sounds like an arse.

I'm looking back at all the little things like him getting withdrawn about that kiss and other stuff too where he's backed off and withheld affection. Yet twisted it around as if he was in the right.

Yes. I think he is a controlling arse and it's good that it's out so early.

You'd think in the initial stages especially if he's been in love with you for a year that you would be the first thing on his mind and he would call and wish you a merry Christmas and give you a small but thoughtful gift. Don't contact him again if he doesn't firm up plans then just leave it. Sounds like he took the kiss thing badly.

Hope youre ok op, he sounds like a game playing dickhead.

I think he's a dickhead too now.

It's actually quite depressing that I've seen 2 other threads here with similar tales of ghosting after being loved up. What is is with some idiots that they take the cowards way out? And at Christmas? It takes a special kind of loser to think that that's ok.

Aww lovely it's truly crap it really is.Well done for sitting on your hands & not contacting him.
Have you got other plans made over the next few days?

You can do so much better than him. You are a nice, genuine, normal person. He is a cruel, manipulative, game playing twat.

Make amazing plans with your friends and enjoy not giving him a second thought.

Hope you're well. Sounds like you're handling it very maturely. And yes lots of red flags there. Reminds me of someone I dated. I took a bit longer to draw the right conclusions. Better to get out as soon as you can.

In the random off chance that he's got a genuine reason (which as we know is extremely unlikely yet possible) he should be the one doing the chasing and explaining. But sadly it seems he's not up for a real relationship. I agree it takes a special kind of loser to blank someone over Christmas.