New bf hasn't wished me happy Xmas

[Lonelyatxmas]

We've been dating for about eight weeks. Had a bit of a blip when he found out I'd kissed someone else between our first and second date and he backed off after having initially come on strong.

I explained that it was a huge mistake and we got through it and are still seeing each other. I realised how much I like him and was massively relieved.

Had a lovely chat Thursday then I whatsapped him yesterday to wish him a happy Xmas but no reply. I'm a bit hurt. Should I forget about him?

I'd text him myself and stop stressing!

Diana I whatsApped him late last night to say Happy xmas but haven't had a reply! I don't think I can text him again without looking desperate!

Maybe he's with family and they have a no phone rule at Xmas. Stop obsessing.

Have you text him today to wish him happy Christmas?

If not, I'd just do that

One date does not equal exclusivity. Until you have had a conversation and agreed to not date/kiss/sleep with anyone else then you can see/date/kiss/sleep with whomever you want.

It is not up to him. He does not get to guilt trip you.

Ohhh just seen your update. I'm sure he will reply tomorrow and say he hopes you had a lovely day

Out of interest why did you tell him about the kiss with this other guy?

I don't think this would worry you so much unless something about the dynamic between you was already making you insecure and uncertain.

This 'in love with me for a year' is a concern because it sets him up as the one who has the emotional upper hand in a way, as if you have to make it up to him somehow...and you really dont have to feel bad about kissing the other man after one date with this guy, even if you did have sex!

You had every right to explore that option and find out how you felt about him.

But, hold your fire re the lack of reply, see what happens. Judge it when it's clearer. Don't text again until you hear from him.

Someone who's 'in love' with you, doesn't forget to wish you a happy Christmas...

Queen I did't tell him about the kiss. It was a mutual "friend" (who I think fancies him) who "let it slip". The other bloke and BF vaguely know each other through mutual friend and I made a terrible mistake. but to be fair, I realised very quickly and BF has been understanding that he was more keen than I was to begin with although that has definitely changed now.

Your mutual friend is a dick

You're not exclusive with each other after one date and if that puts him off despite being "in love" with you for a year then he's really not worth it, it doesn't bode well for any actual drama in the future

Your mutual friend is a dick

YY. She ain't no friend of mine anymore! Stupid cow. Again tbf, BF has since backed off the "friendship" too. Thinks she's trouble.

Do you think he's 'testing' you to see if you text him first? I'm a bit out of practice with this sort of thing to know, but I know some people can be game players and just wondering if it's that? Just seems a bit like he's blowing hot and cold...x

bubs thanks, appreciate your thoughts. I whatsapped him a happy Xmas last night though so don't think it can be that.

I'm wondering if he is testing the waters though, and trying to tell me he's not so interested anymore.

OP - you are massively over-thinking this!

Step away from your phone and concentrate on enjoying Christmas. (Tbh you sound very young and very needy!)

Why not just text him and at least then you'll know if he's ignoring you if he doesn't reply again

I'm pretty sure he'll reply if I text again. But I don't want to chase him for a "duty" happy Xmas!

Yes you've sort of not got anything to lose by texting. If he's gone off you, then he's still gone off you and it will be apparent if he ignores or in the tone of his message. If he really likes you then he won't run a mile just because you sent him another message x

Do you mean that a mature person wouldn't mind not being wished a happy Xmas from their new BF naiceham?
Not being defensive. Genuine question.

Nah, he's probably just busy. You are over thinking the lack of text.

I think, you are getting yourself into a bit of a tizz about nothing. You're not really in a relationship yet, and definitely were not when you kissed another bloke.

Relax - step back a bit mentally, you don't know what kind of person he is when he is in a relationship, so tread carefully.

Do not text again. Leave him be, assume the planned dates are still on unless he says otherwise.

Get on with enjoying your Christmas, he is not the centre of the universe. And very well might be playing you hot and cold as punishment...

That's not a good sign. why did you tell him you'd kissed somebody else. Even though it's not a great crime. All this game playing by not texting. It's just too silly. Don't put up with it. Move on to somebody else. Trying to tell you something by not texting. Like what. He has sprained his wrist, lost his phone, found somebody else. Life is too short for this nonsense. IMHO.

And IMO, kissing the other bloke, should have had him stepping up, making more of an effort, not you having on the defensive. You've got options, only people are interested/attracted to you.

*not having you...

*other people...

Sounds utterly exhausting,isn't it meant to be fun this early on?

RTFT!