husband cheated with hooker what to do

[Babz33]

I'm new here, I just found out 2 days ago my husband got himself a bday gift and wen to a hooker. We've been married for 6 years, we have a baby boy. he was.seemed to be a good husband, supportive, good dad etc, we had good life together. I told him knew, I told him he destroyed everything for us and for our little boy to have a normal family. he said he only went once, he watches a lot of porn and this idea/fantasy hes been having for a while he finally did it but regrets it every day and feels awful. I don't know what to do now should I leave him?

Yes, I would leave him. And get an std check.

Do you think you'd ever be able to get past the fact that he's slept with someone else? And paid them for the privilege?

Doesn't matter if it's a hooker or anyone else. He cheated. STI check and LTB is my response!

how did you find out? definitely std check. I would also just leave/make him leave over this. the porn and hookers thing is going to be almost impossible to forgive I would think. very sorry :(

How did you find out and how can you be sure that it was his first time?

So sorry for you

I agree. Get an std check and leave him. It sounds like something he deliberately planned and now he regrets it? Anyone with sense would go "I have a living wife and child and a happy life. Should I potentially destroy it by getting a hooker? No. That's a stupid idea" rather than go through with it and regret it after

I mean loving wife. Not living

well I looked at his phone for something and found a text confirming 'appointment', I googled the number and there it was... he did admit it, didn't really have a choice as the facts were there, he is adamant it was 1 time, he had that idea in his mind for a while and he did try 2 times before but he made 'appointments' but never went. do I believe that? don't know, its hard to believe I'm actually in that situation. have anyone ever experienced anything like that?

Every woman I have ever read who this has happened to, her husband always swears it was the first time. It defies belief that every husband caught doing this has only done it once.

I wouldn't be able to stay.

Agree with PP - LTB and STD check.

im so ashamed of that, how could that happen to me or anyone, nothing looks the same now, im kind of pushing all these thoughts away to act 'normal' in front or our little boy but my god I went through so many emotions I now just feel hopeless and motionless

Oh out comes The Script

OP - I'm so sorry. Brace yourself for more revelations.

Do you want to leave? Can you go somewhere for a couple of days with DC to get some perspective?

He'd be outside on the kerb and I'd be down the GUM clinic tomorrow morning.

Maybe send him to stay somewhere else while you sort yourself out? Or could you go and stay with someone? Maybe have a family member look after your DS so you get some time to think / sort yourself out

im so ashamed of that, how could that happen to me

Let me just be crystal clear that you have absolutely nothing to be ashamed of

has anyone ever went through anything like that? the common sense tells me to leave him and start over were still yound enough we can re-build our lives but how can you trust anyone after that? I he was able to do such a thing everyone is able to do it. its all terrifying

hes back home now, ill login later, thanks everyone

I don't know how you learn to trust again in new relationships

I know that paying for sex would be an absolute deal breaker for me - more than an affair. It's the idea that he thinks it's ok to buy women bodies that would revolt me.

Hope you find your way through. Remember, you've done nothing wrong and have nothing to be ashamed of.

Also, the STD check.

The shame is all his.

I doubt it was just the once.

You said he regretted it ever since. Do you believe him, or do you think he regretted you finding out?

This would be a deal breaker for me. The trust has gone, lack of respect.

And treating himself for his birthday! How insulting to you and his ds. And how entitled!

Decide what you want to happen, and take your time. Ask him to give you space to decide if you need to. You're in shock, you need time to get your feelings and thoughts together.

he finally did it but regrets it every day and feels awful.

Only because he was caught out, he's hardly going to say otherwise

Cheating is cheating whether it's a sex worker or some random he met in the pub.

The difference here is the deliberate planning that went into this - not just once but 3 times (as in the amount of times he tried to arrange it).

It wan't a drunken knee-jerk reaction to an argument with you or a spur of the moment reckless decision. It was a deliberate, planned course of action and he had plenty of time to reflect on how this would impact on you and your child.

I wouldn't be able to forgive him.

Definitely get yourself checked out for STI's.

Don't have sex with him again.
Divorce him.
Start looking for a divorce lawyer on Monday.
It won't have been the first time and he will do it again too. It's not your fault.
You deserve better.
Good luck.

Did he actually show signs of "feeling awful" before you found this out? If not, he's either an incredibly good actor or is lying.

It's very telling his birthday present to himself was sex with a sex worker. That needs addressing but don't rush to do anything yet. You'll get a lot of leave the bastard posts and people saying how they'd not stay etc but this is your life and you don't have to justify your choices.

Making him leave, or you staying away for a few days and him having to deal with the chores, etc might be a good idea.