NoCapes thread 2 - No cape necessary

[NoCapes]

Can't believe we've filled up a whole thread
But I'm still not ready to be without you all yet ...

[TheGrumpySquirrel]

X-post! Glad they are back phew

[ayeokthen]

I hate happy meal dads they piss me right off. Feed your kids you fucking arsehole it's not hard! DS used to come home sugared out of his box on cola and sweeties with no actual food having been provided and it gave me the rage! Hope they all settle for you Capes, getting 3 overtired wee ones to bed can feel like wrestling with an octopus. How are you? Xx

[Joysmum]

Great suggestion that you text the failings of that contact and late drop off factually and without emotions so you have record without looking like you're picking a fight.

[Doublemint]

Seriously he didn't feed them properly all day?!?! I can't remember their ages (sorry!) but that's really not on. Can't you put it in writing somewhere and insist that a condition of contact is that he fuckig feeds his children?!?! Fuming on your behalf!

[Funko]

Absolutely disgusting and yet also completely not surprising. I also get sick of the regularity of flipping happy meals and kfc. Not because I'm a total food snob its just so often it's bloody lazy.

Poor baby too 😡

[EnriqueTheRingBearingLizard]

Just marking my place in solidarity Capes.

[NoCapes]

They're 7, 5 and 10 months
They'd been to Blackpool so had rock, haribo and we're both sucking on the huge sugar dummy things when they got back
I don't think the baby had had anything at all

Still wrestling the youngest aye he's the worst sleeper ever and I had a huge thread running on here for a while begging for help, I had finally got to a place where bedtime was like a proper bedtime and I could put him down and walk away for a few hours - and fuck me it was painful getting there
And in one afternoon he's managed to fuck it all up again!!

[tiredvommachine]

What an absolute wanker

[Soubriquet]

How on earth does anyone think it's ok to not feed children and give them sweets all day instead?!

Poor baby.

He must be in that awful too tired to eat, too hungry to sleep mode

[Doublemint]

Sending you a barrage of hugs this evening. Keep a record because if he does this again surely it's borderline neglect or something. Your poor baby, especially as they have been unwell. I bet the older ones loved all the sugar but that's really not the point.

He's treating the children how he treated you, big grand gestures that are nice for a while but with no real substance. You are amazing OP

[helenatroy]

Tosser. If you really think about it I bet you'll find you expect no better from him anyway. Kids love and need stability and that is what you do and have also always provided. For future visitation think about providing a schedule of what is acceptable when he cares for them. Remember too that you hold all the cards and he will for a while try to please you. Stipulate no sweets, acceptable food stuffs etc.

[troubleatmill2011]

I guess it reaffirms you've totally done the right thing. What a knob

[ElspethFlashman]

You have my total sympathy with the baby. I've been there.

Disney Dad indeed. For fucks sake. Sugar for tea and the baby ignored. Unreal.

[ayeokthen]

Argh that's awful for you and the baby Capes, what an absolute dick!! Its so frustrating when a long worked for routine is fucked up. Hopefully the wee one will settle for you soon

[ayeokthen]

I saw this earlier and thought of you

[NoCapes]

Oh I love that aye

The baby's not as angry now, fingers crossed this means he's settling

[Iamdobby63]

Usually selfish actions on his part then? All what's easiest and best for him.

[HuckfromScandal]

Wow, capes, he just can't help himself but show you who he really is.

My ex did this every weekend he had them.
I learnt to risw about it, and not get mad.
It was really really hard.
It easier than living with the prick full time!!

[NoCapes]

Oh! I was so busy ranting I forgot to tell you this gem!

Me - so did you have a fun day?
DD - yes and Daddy didn't even shout at us all day!
DS - no he didn't did he, and he let us go on the rides we wanted even though they were baby ones!

I may have had to leave the room and have a little sob

[ayeokthen]

I thought you might! Poor wee soul must be pickled with having fuck all to eat all day and being trawled round Blackpool (I grew up near Blackpool I fucking hate the place!) starving and tired. This is what I meant about you being their safe place, their dad has them knackered, starving and sugared out of their wee heads, Mum fixes it all and makes it all better. Well done (again!), he's a fucking toad

[ayeokthen]

Your last post made me want to cry, wee souls.

[skyyequake]

Omg NoCapes you must livid!!! He is such a fucking tosspot! Tell him the next time he doesn't feed them proper food that you'll take him to court to get full custody with no access.

I am so angry with him and I don't even know him!

[Soubriquet]

It will be like that a lot

He gets to be the good dad that splashes on days out, food they like, treats here and there and no angry moods because they get to do what they want to do

You have to be the parent who does everything they NEED to do even if they don't like it. You will be one they argue and bicker with, but you will also be the one in the future who they will turn round and say that you was the one who was there when they needed you most

[Mouikey]

Been lurking and reading both threads - sorry this has happened, but your strength over the course of this is amazing - be as proud of yourself as we are of you.

I would suggest keeping a diary and write down when he has the kids, how long he has them for, if he brings them back at the agreed time and anything else - if he hasn't fed the baby for 5 hours that is just horrific. I hope it doesn't come to it, but by writing it down from now you will have evidence if you need it for custody etc in the future.

Good luck and keep your chin up, your doing an amazing job xx

[NoCapes]

Ah he sleeps

This is a big part of the reason I didn't want to split tbh
I can't have this happen every weekend