Hey Capes I'm back, I was having a down moment this morning but I went to a coffee morning run by the DA charity and am feeling better.
So now, with a less pessimistic view, I can say that I reported to the police. And all I reported was that he had threatened to harass me. He hadn't yet, but had threatened to, and they took me seriously. It was purely based on my word, no evidence to speak of, but its all recorded now so if he ever steps it up a notch I have that fall back to say "look, this has happened before." Your XP has done something, something much much worse. It might not go to court due to lack of evidence but it will be recorded, he will be on their radar. They will most likely investigate which will include talking to him. Just that much may make him realise that you're not going to put up with this anymore. Plus the police will put you in contact with the domestic abuse charity near you and believe me when I say that they do the world of good for you. They make you realise that you're not alone, you will meet people who have gone through or are going through the same or similar. Its so relaxing to be able to discuss it with people who don't just give you this look 
but who understand and empathise. Because for us it's normal, but for most it's not. Having a support group means you can share that normal with people and come to terms with the fact that whilst this may be your normal, that doesn't mean it's right. If you don't report, please contact Women's Aid or a local organisation directly, because believe me they are the biggest source of support I have found, and a large reason that I haven't gone back to my XP. You will make friends, and more importantly, you will make friends where you don't feel like you have to hide what's been going on, because they get it.
You have done amazingly well on your own. But you don't have to be on your own anymore Capes. You can ask for help, you can talk about it, you don't have to live a life of just dealing with it. Join a Freedom Programme, go to a coffee morning, or group counselling, or anything which gets you among people who have experienced this. Its 1 in 4 women Capes, that's so many amazing women who know what you're going through, who you can reach out to. He is still taking up so much for your time and thoughts. Once you can open up and offload to people you will move on your journey away from him. You will find friends and a new life, you might have to see him for the kids, but one day you will go days without him even entering your head.
Being strong doesn't always mean burying your feelings and keeping on going. Sometimes being strong is crying your eyes out in a room full of strangers and feeling more support and understanding than you ever felt with him. Sometimes being strong is blurting it all out and laughing about it afterwards. Sometimes its letting yourself feel again, and knowing that even though it hurts now, one day it won't anymore.
He's cut you deep, and a cut that deep can't just be left to heal on it's own. It needs to be examined and cleaned out and stitched up. It hurts, but it helps, and in the end it helps you heal.
It's your choice whether to report it or not. But I am begging you, please reach out to a charity, please find some support within this wonderful community we have made. We're not victims, we're survivors. But that doesn't mean we keep quiet about it. It means we realise that its not our fault, it's them. It's all them. As my Freedom runner would say "the nasty bastards".
You're amazing Capes. Don't keep his secrets anymore. Look after yourself, you are worth it. Your little toe is worth more than his entire being. Let yourself shine. 