Found something....

[summersunshineaddict]

Was using dps phone for something through other day, found an app called Kik. Opened it out of curiousity and he's been sending really quite filthy messages to other girls and photos too.

Things havent been great and we've not been having much sex but still this just hurt.

I've been trying to think of any reason he'd do this but I can't

I have posted before about having to hide my friendships with guys but I don't think this is comparable

How long have you been together? Does he need a reason, the fact he has done this is hurtful enough surely.

The reason he's doing it is because he's a bit of a shit and is, at best, either getting an ego boost out of messaging women or at worst, trying to conduct affairs.

No other excuse really required. If you're having a rough time in your marriage, sexting other women is not the way to go about it.

Sorry, but it would pretty much be a deal breaker for me unless there is a two way story here and you've been unfaithful too (not saying there is btw) - if that's the case I would say you two need to call it quits anyway.

Things havent been great and we've not been having much sex but still this just hurt.

The solution to this is not to start cheating on your girlfriend.

Kik is linked to dating sites like theaffairsite

I've not been unfaithful, he has thought I have been but I haven't

He let's his face show in the video which I find odd

I have taken photos of his phone and the chat

You don't need photos.
You only need to dump him - because there is no reason or excuse for this.
Fortunately dumping him doesn't required any evidence, and what does it matter if he denies it? You know the truth.

Just dump the arsehole.

I feel sick about it all

"I've not been unfaithful, he has thought I have been but I haven't"

Classic projection, guilty conscience & thinking everyone else acts like him.

As others have said - problems in relationship/sex life ... try to fix them or end it, don't cheat.

Do you have any kids together?

Sorry this is happening to you OP

No kids thankfully

Yeah he gets funny with me having male friends

Why do you think he's doing it? What's wrong with your relationship? You need to talk to him. Good luck

I think he's not, in his opinion, getting enough sex. If he was watching porn that would be one thing, this is just so much more than that

You aren't married and have no kids. You are having problems, he doesn't trust you and accuses you of things. You don't trust him quite rightly so and now he has been doing this. surely there's only one solution.

Yup, Op no reason to stay in a relationship like that surely?

"No kids thankfully"
Well, can only be a v good thing, given this behaviour.

Ultimately, it doesn't matter what's wrong with your relationship, if this is how he chooses to 'deal' with it. He's shown himself to have little or no integrity. You've both been affected by the problems, but you're not the one sexting other people are you (if it's truly limited to only sexting).

(Plus some people are capable of acting like this even if there are no problems).

Even if he hasn't met anyone in person, it's still cheating/utterly inappropriate behaviour & many people would say that the only talking you should do would consist of gtfo (!)

Also, have to say I've seen a pattern of women on here citing episodes like this, forgiving and continuing the relationship, only to have the same or worse happen again later.

Male friends; someone being like this about guys you are truly platonic with is stressful to begin with; having to minimise and hide the friendships is stressful and feels controlling.
And looking at what he's been doing; he's an utter hyprocrite & presumably thinks everyone functions on his 'level'.

I don't think he would physically cheat, which may seem naive. I don't think he would even see this as cheating

I know I need to sort it but I need to get my head straight first

Not trying to be cheeky Summer, but would he see it as cheating if you were sending filthy messages & photos to other men .

Take your time & look after yourself; but know that this is not your fault - you've been having problems but you haven't chosen to do something utterly inappropriate (that many ppl would consider cheating) and he has. It doesn't speak of integrity on his part. And while I know it's not easy to find someone with integrity, there are some people out there with it.

Oh, and the issues with any friendships you have with males..
at worst controlling,
at best (before hearing about what he's done behind your back in a relationship) I'd have said he's perhaps old-fashioned/conservative ... but now we know he's not conservative so ..

No that's very true

I think I'm still in shock about it all

He's said he's not cheated

Well that to me would be cheating and he'd be gone but everyone has their own boundaries. So what do you plan to do next? Forgive him?

TheNaze73 why on earth do you think she needs to consider what is wrong with her relationship and talk to him, when he is sending sex texts to other women? Genuine question.
Why bother talking to him other than to dump him?

I'd message him via Kik to make him aware you know about it.
In my opinion dirty talking with someone is on a par with cheating. Yes granted he hasn't actually done the deed, but what is the filthy chat going to lead up to? The angle he's going for is to get sex.
In this situation there is no valid reason or excuses he could give to me that wouldn't make me run for the hills thanking God for my lucky escape.

I'd message him on Kik too something innocuous - he'll know the games up without a single word spoken - be interesting to see how he deals with it...

I told him I knew, it's all come out

He's said he's not cheated

Did you expect him to say he had?

If he's not physically cheated, is sending filthy pics not a dealbreaker for you?