Found something....

[summersunshineaddict]

Was using dps phone for something through other day, found an app called Kik. Opened it out of curiousity and he's been sending really quite filthy messages to other girls and photos too.

Things havent been great and we've not been having much sex but still this just hurt.

I've been trying to think of any reason he'd do this but I can't

I have posted before about having to hide my friendships with guys but I don't think this is comparable

[summersunshineaddict]

This is very true

[BlueFolly]

If you stay with a cheater, they will know they can get away with it.

[summersunshineaddict]

I hope you are right

[Naicehamshop]

Keep hanging in there - it's not easy but I know that you will come out the other side and feel so much better.

[summersunshineaddict]

Thank you, not feeling very great at the moment

[Naicehamshop]

You sound great OP - I haven't commented before but I have read the full thread.
Stay strong -you can do better than this feeble excuse of a man. Good luck.

[summersunshineaddict]

I'm sure it is, just feeling very lost at the moment and quite lonely

[category12]

Hope you feel better about it soon. It's the right thing.

[summersunshineaddict]

We've decided it's over for good. Need to sort the house out and things

[summersunshineaddict]

Thanks, I'm just feeling really low about it. Trying to keep busy but not that easy

[headinhands]

Op it makes no difference what anyone says here on MN, within his family or anywhere in the world. You have your own idea of what is and isn't acceptable. You have your own idea of how people should operate in an intimate relationship. And your idea seems sound and logical to me. That of trust and not sending sexual images of yourself to people outside of that relationship. If he wants a relationship where he is free to behave as such he should make that clear at the outset. I'm guessing he won't because it's not about a relationship for him. It's about having a partner for the drudgery while he gets to feel like a stud .

Stick to what you worked out for yourself in the seconds after your discovery. It's not on and you deserve better. And better is out there

It's a good idea to think about how quickly you saw red flags in this relationship. How soon did you feel uncomfortable with his behaviour?

[summersunshineaddict]

Than I am that should read

[summersunshineaddict]

He has apologised but seems to be taking it all better than I am to be honest.

I genuinely think what his family have said has impacted on him a great deal, as in that he doesn't feel that he is any more to blame for our break up than he is.

[adora1]

Has he even tried to make you feel better or has he just slunk off like a coward, what is he saying to you, if anything?

Btw, the fact he doesn't like you having male friends or prefers you at home is possibly down to the fact that he is a cheat, they quite often accuse their partner of exactly what they are doing, albeit subconsciously.

[summersunshineaddict]

He has agreed to the break Iflyaway but we haven't put any time limit on it or anything.

Thanks all

Being very down about it all today which isn't great

[Iflyaway]

What I would like is a break, some time apart to consider things. I will discuss that with him although I doubt he will agree.

But it's your life, you can make any decision you want.

Don't give your power away to a man who does not have your best interests at heart.

[Toxicity]

FWIW Summer, I think you have done the right thing. From what I gather from your posts, he got the hump over you being friends with other men yet he is sending explicit messages/photos to other women! Talk about double standards.

Be strong and try not to worry about what others are saying, if certain people think his behaviour is fine well let them be in a relationship with him!

Good luck and

[summersunshineaddict]

I think if roles were reversed they wouldn't be saying that though

[adora1]

Can see where he gets his moral compass from then huh.

[summersunshineaddict]

I think it doesn't help that his family always tell him what he wants to hear so they've said they understand why it happened

[headinhands]

The 'Bristol guy boob pic' is amusing because it shows how illogical it is to use a rough patch as an excuse for being a shit. But I get its easier for those of us who aren't currently dealing with the mental gymnastics involved with excusing totally unreasonable behaviour. It really does take time to get out of the fog when you're involved with someone emotionally stunted. The things is, until you've been in that situation you assume all adults are roughy the same but some people are just crap at the honesty and intimacy of a relationship. I don't think these people mean to be toxic, I think they're just doing what works for them, not taking responsibility.

[summersunshineaddict]

Oops bold fail there

[summersunshineaddict]

I do love the *I'll send a pic of my tits to a guy in Bristol" comment, that made me smile thank you

He did go through a phase of being like that and I didn't. I just plodding along knowing it would end and spoke to my friends more to cheer myself up

[Puzzledandpissedoff]

Wise words, Fellytone

[Fellytone]

'I know, I'll send a pic of my tits to a guy in Bristol, that'll sort it out'.

Sorry Summer, I know the situation isn't funny in the slightest but this made me literally laugh out loud