DRY 13

[lilybetsy]

This is the thread for all those who are living, or committed to living, life free from alcohol.

I will quote a sober poster "I'm fitter, slimmer, richer, happier & healthier"

Go sober warriors !

Found you!

Wow, shiny new thread :)

Great to be here ladies !! X

Hello 👋

So wasn't prepared for how I feel today endless tears and upset xxx I was so proud of myself for coping with Friday, proud that I'm on Day 15 AF but found myself wondering why I couldn't be like everyone else why can't I stop at just the one glass almost feels like I'm losing all that I knew does anyone know what mean? Feel stupid and I'm sorry for making the tone of the new thread sound so depressing xxxx welcome all newcomers so proud of everyone on here all amazing achievements, hugs to those feeling like me or with darker problems xxx Sober Warriers Rock!!!

Thanks Lily for the shiny new thread! :)
Rose what you describe is how I felt too at the beginning and it's part of the grieving process that I wrote about here

Helloooooooo! Lovely new thread, thanks Lily

Rose I felt the same at the beginning. Hang in there, it gets easier. I really recommend reading other peoples stories via blogs, past dry threads, books etc, and you will perhaps not feel so scared about what you are experiencing.

Oh and don't worry about bringing down the thread - that is what it is here for. If we were all shiny and happy little larks at all times, there would be no need for a support thread!

Ooh, lots to read back through and catch up on.

rose I cried at one point last weekend, I wanted some wine and I know I can't because it ends up being a bottle or more and we all know how that goes. But I do miss the giggly me that one glass brings out, dancing round to pop songs with the kids. I haven't yet worked out how to be that person without wine. But I am discovering new sides to myself or maybe sides that have been hidden for a long time so it's not all bad. It is definitely a grieving process as lucy says.

And also, on the wishing you could have just the one... Did you ever do that? I never did! If it was one glass or nothing, I would pretty much always choose nothing, I drank to feel the effects, and - in the end - until I could no longer feel anything .

Argh, so many lovely posts to read and I'm utterly exhausted and behind on everyone's news.

So a big wave to everyone and to those newly AF - hello!

Rose, I have felt like this today, too, and was nearly didn't post as didn't want to bum everyone out, so it's lovely to hear fuzzy telling us not to worry. You are not alone.

I have also been really itching for a drink. I put the wine in the fridge this morning, took it out, put it back in again. Took it out and then considered hiding a bottle in the study where I work in the evenings (I used to do this weekly, and sink a bottle whilst DP downstairs), but have managed to ride the urge.

But OH MY GOD I have eaten like a hog today! Seriously, gang, if I told you what I have shoved down my throat today, you'd wonder how I can even sit upright. Serious amounts of junk.

That had better stop tomorrow! Bed now, just to stop me eating!

Hugs to all and sorry again for not replying to everyone.

Thank you for the new thread, Lily.

Sorry Rose about the tears. Hope you are feeling better now and have grabbed yourself some comfort stuff.

And jojo for last weekend.

Has anyone read Paradise ?

I love AL Kennedy and I periodically re-read this book - haven't for a couple of years though. It might be time.

I've had terrible day for work motivation, but I'm going to chalk it up to "shit happens", not try to compensate now, and watch a film.

Hope you're all well and hammering the sober evening drinks of choice

Rose I found the salted caramel green tea! Yum

Made it through the first day - am now in bed eating cheese and crackers with the dog - bit like Wallace and Grommit.

I really struggled at around 5pm when I would normally start drinking at home. The kitchen seems to be a huge trigger for me, yet I had to cook dinner, wash up etc I had cravings, mini panic attacks en route, a whole host of voices in my head saying ' you are doing really well - why not have a drink to celebrate and start again tomorrow... ' I mean.... WTAF??!!

My head is very very busy at the moment, and I feel like I am walking on a tightrope.

And tomorrow, I get to do it all again. Tell me it gets easier?

Still - I haven't had a drink.

It does get easier but the first couple of day are tough - there is no sugar coating it! Lots of sober treats needed and can you get some take outs or ready meals for the next few days to avoid that particular kitchen trigger? Well done for making it through day 1 :)

Well done Horsewomen for resisting the urge to have an alcoholic drink. Try and take each day at a time.

I am in my 6th week of no alcohol and today I booked myself a massage and facial to reward my good work! I have decided to do this every month that goes by AF.

I am feeling really good in myself, more energy, skin brighter in the morning, I know I don't smell like pickles the day after, no hangovers, I can exercise when I want as I don't have the excuse 'but I had some wine so better not' hanging over me. There is sometimes the urge to have a glass of wine but I am pretty sure the trigger is boredom. So trying to get busy in the evenings!

Also, I don't want DS to fall into the alcohol trap so pleased to be leading by example!

IAMS awesome! You are doing SO well . You may find that your 'firsts' are still a little tricky for some time, but even this gets easier eventually. Really important to treat yourself, and to see the value in what you are doing, so I'm glad you are keeping that up!

Shark well done for taking yourself off to bed - sometimes the only place to be
I'm a little concerned you have wine around to put in the fridge - is this yours or someone else's? I'm going to be very straight with you and say IMO you are playing with fire there. If it's your wine, can you get rid of it? If someone else's ask them to put it away where you won't see it? It may help to think to yourself - if I put the wine in the fridge I am accepting that very soon, I will be right back in that place that made me join DRY in the first place. Do I want this?

Lucy - ready meals are a good idea - will get some tomorrow! Have also been eating ice pops.

IAMS Good point about keeping busy - I think that I'll try changing our evening routine a bit to lessen the triggers...

6 weeks is awesome

Hi everyone. Checking in to the new thread.

Yay, found you all!
Hugs to Rose. I know exactly how you feel. I would love to be able to take it or leave it, and I have been thinking about how much I will miss the things I associate with it. It does feel like so much of my identity is wrapped up in being a drinker . I am trying to focus on all the positive messages here and how nice it will be not to wake up with that gut churning self loathing and memory loss.
Well done 4. I was also feeling it at 5. The kids were playing up after school today, or maybe I am just less tolerant without a drink in me, then DH arrived home with a couple of cans. It took all my will power not to have one. I haven't mentioned to him that I am looking at this as a long term thing, because he will come out with all that stuff about it being fine to have a few drinks every now and then, or just have one. I know he will be supportive but part of him will also worry about losing his drinking partner, or me becoming 'boring'. But as you said, fuzzy, it never stops at one, and really, what's the point of just having one?

Anyway I have also managed my first day! Took the dog for a long walk last night then home for a soak in the bath and a mug of lemon and ginger tea. Not quite the same as a bottle of cider, but like you IAMS I am starting to worry about the messages I am sending to my kids about alcohol. I don't want them to think of me as always having a bottle or a glass in my hand. I knew when I started pouring my beer into a mug to drink in front of them that things were getting a bit silly.

Not feeling quite as bright and sparkly as I had hoped this morning, but it has only been one day. I am in awe of those of you counting in weeks rather than days.

Sorry Rose, of course I don't know 'exactly' how you feel, but some of it, yes. But you are way further down the line than me and it is people like you that I am looking up to at the moment, the ones who find it tough but keep on going.

Morning Everyone thanks everyone for the advice and kind words I read Lucys blog which helped and hit the nail right on the head xx I'm accepting that I am breaking almost a 35 year cycle so to be on Day 16 is amazing! Couldn't have done it without all of you xxx I didn't want to post last night and ruin the positivity but I'm glad i did as I would be tempted today to buy some wine to ease the pain xxx thank you Sober Warriors you are truly amazing xxx

Morning all! Rose glad it helped Sober treat today? :)

Hello everyone. Checking into the new thread.

Rose, I too got tearful and angry in the first weeks. I think it's all quite normal, as Lucy said. The feelings seem to pop out of nowhere. Anyway, persist and it will improve. It really will.

ripley and 4apocalyptic WELL DONE!

Hi Fuzzy (end everyone else!). I greatly appreciate your honestly and wisdom!

We have an enormous amount of wine, beer and champagne, all left over from DP's 50th birthday party a few weeks ago. So technically it's not mine, and neither can I get rid of it. It's currently under the stairs.

I could move it. Or I could perhaps tell DP that I'm trying to keep AF (Day 10 now!), and ask him to put it in the garage. I think I'm worried about what his reaction is going to be. Not a bad reaction, he'll be supportive, but I don't think he knows quite how bad my drinking had got (hence drinking in secret). Which means confessing, and I don't feel ready.

TBH, I hadn't really thought about the stash under the stairs until yesterday, and had felt great about not opening it (just fondling it!).

Am I in denial?

Well done everyone who is staying AF, sounds like yesterday was a funny one for us all. Lots of sober treats could be the solution (pedicure for me today!).

Wow this thread is so busy -it's great.

Rose how you are feeling is completely normal. I too felt exactly like that. It doesn't make the process any easier but just know that you are not alone. You do not have to go through this alone - we are here for you. And as for bringing the board down you're not- as fuzzy said that's what we're here for. Big sober hugs

shark you are doing great but I would echo what Fuzzy says. You don't need that wine in the fridge or in the house at all. It will make it much harder to deal with cravings because you know it's there. Please get rid of it. I am doing a course at the moment and I have learned that the little voice in your head saying "go on have a drink" is your addictive desire - any thought or feeling that supports the use of drink or drugs now or in the future. Some people think of it as a wine witch. For me I visualise a rabid dog trying to get into the room. For now you don't need to know about all the theory behind it but you do need to recognise that your addictive desire is not you and you can control it. You are strong and you are in charge.

4 you are doing really really well. The stuff above might help a bit. Definitely avoid your triggers for now at least. Ready meals are a great idea or can they make their own food ? Right now you need to think about you and what you need.

Iam so glad you are feeling good. Plenty of treats are the way to go !

Morning to everyone else. Day 49 for me today. Not sure whether to celebrate today or tomorrow when I make it to 50 days. I could not have made it without you all so thank you all.