DRY 13

[lilybetsy]

This is the thread for all those who are living, or committed to living, life free from alcohol.

I will quote a sober poster "I'm fitter, slimmer, richer, happier & healthier"

Go sober warriors !

[jojomo]

Definitely plodding on together and every step forward is progress.

We can do this!

Have you got any potentially difficult drinking situations this week?
Not much going on for me this week so anticipating a quiet time here now.

[efc1878]

Hi

Would like to join in with abstaining! Read Allen Carr and had my last drink Friday. So AF Saturday done and felt so well this morning.

From a family of problem drinkers. 4 years ago I was easily drinking 1-2 bottles a day. Now I'm binging heavily at weekends and I'm sick of it. Hate the anxious muddled head the next day.

So I've signed up for a 10k, planning on going to the gym on a Friday night.

I have a weekend away next weekend with a group of big drinkers which I really can't get out of so joining here for strength and positive stories.

[MatronLittle]

jojo I have loads of drinking events this week. I'm going to request that business lunches are changed to sushi or dim sum. That's the least likely cuisine to down wine with. I'm doomed in French or Italian restaurants so they have to go for the time being.

I am out Thursday and Friday night. I Have cancelled Thursday and I'm taking DM and DH with me Friday for support.

On holiday for half term. It's quite a physical trip and DH will be there so I am hoping I enjoy the outdoors and keep focused.

A quiet week sounds glorious.

[MatronLittle]

jojo you are right we can do this and we will do this

[MatronLittle]

efc welcome

[jojomo]

Hello efc you've had a great start, have you thought about how to handle next weekend?

You sound focused and determined matron and your strategies are in place already, you mean business this time

[MatronLittle]

jojo I do indeed mean business but now I've confided in DM and DH the poor sods are having to chaperon me.

I'm shattered still processing the poison. Bye for now.

[efc1878]

Thanks everyone.

My plan for not drinking next weekend is running training, going to take my kit and plan early mornings. If I don't join in from the start they soon won't notice or care what I'm doing. It's just so sad that there is a pressure just because you are away and its bank holiday the only way to enjoy it is having a skin full.

[jojomo]

Make sure you have alcohol free options efc and some sober treats for yourself. Also think about what you are going to say about not drinking. It is indeed madness that the 'only' way to enjoy things is to drink to excess, I spent years thinking that myself. But it's not true and the more sober days and occasions I have the more I know that.

Good luck this week everyone, onwards and upwards, better head to bed myself

[FuzzyWhiteLegs]

efc welcome

jojo happy belated birthday wishes to you!! I am very impressed to read about how you pulled it back, and didn't let that one slip turn into a prolonged slide. Well done you.

lily I first started trying to run a few years ago, but had some chronic health issues which got in the way (not drinking related ). Several ops later and those resolved, I got into youtube fitness videos at the start of 2015, and for the first time ever really committed to a fitness regime. Decided to give running another go in the April. I quit the booze in the May, so running came first, but only just .

I am not much of a runner, but I do love it, and so I persevere. I have a tendency to get shin splints if I go too hard or fast, but at the moment they are just at a dull ache which feels more used than painful, so fingers crossed. I think I need a goal to work towards tho - perhaps attending a park run, or maybe even - one day - a 10k would be terrifying amazing... I wish I had someone like Like to coach me on a bit, but for now it's running magazines and forums! But mainly I love the fresh air, space, freedom, endorphins, and licence to eat extra cake .

[MaryMarigold]

Morning all

Well, I'm on day 6 today and quite proud that I got through a whole weekend alcohol free. I did kind of start dry January this year but I moaned and whinged constantly and started cheating on about day 10 so this is very different.

We went out for a family meal last night which would normally be an excuse for me to have two large glasses of red (or maybe one large and one medium if I was "moderating" ). Anyway, after a brief "pang" when the woman on the next table was served her second huge glass of white, I copped on to myself and had a really nice evening (they had Fentimans Rose lemonade there, yay). And I was so delighted when I got home and I could still parent, read with the kids and do the online shop rather than just falling asleep in front of the telly and letting DH deal with everything.

I've got a big event coming up in August with my DH's family (who I really can't abide) and we agreed last night that he would drink and I would drive back. In my drinking days, I would just have been really tense and angry all evening and then turned into a bitter sobbing drunk by the end of it all, so this is much better.

Hope everyone has a good week. Matron, it's great that DM and DH have your back. I totally admire your courage telling your DM.

Sorry to not name-check, now the thread is super-busy I can't keep up!

[finnishbiscuiteater]

Morning Mary Well done on the family meal!

Day 8 for me - which means a week of actual non-drinking is under my belt! Woo

Told DP that I fancied a period of sobriety - he was neutral but supportive - which was lovely. I don't feel ready to make any big pronouncements. I'm suddenly getting the 'one day at a time' mantra - I'm really happy not to drink today/this week - when I start spinning forward 'What aboutX event, what about when I hang out with Y' etc, I panic.

But, today I'm not drinking. I think that I want to try 90 days sober, and then reassess. I've some challenges with that (big family events, big weddings etc, holidays etc) so that's enough to think about for now.

matron - you're job sounds very glamourous! (we don't get business lunches in the public sector, am jealous!)

Fuzzy - I did the same - cracked the C25K, then my ankles gave out. Am now trying the Yoga camp with Adrienne to see me through my first 31 days of sobriety.

jojo Pomegranate mocktail sounds amazing!

[jojomo]

Thanks fuzzy!

The pomegranate mocktail was lovely finnish - I think it was the 'pomegranate mojito' recipe from the bbc good food website with mint and lime. Am going to make it again for myself this weekend

Am very impressed with all you runners, I can't motivate myself into seriously sweaty exercise these days although I may force myself onto my exercise bike in a bit for a gentle cycle...

[efc1878]

Morning everyone and again thanks for the welcome.

I've slowly increased my running over the last few years including being sidetracked last year after knee surgery.

I'm not going to be telling people I'm not drinking I don't feel ready to explain to everyone. I did tell Dh and he was a bit surprised but then I think he knows he drinks too much but doesn't want to address that.

I gave up smoking last year and I friends are very supportive so it's odd the same people will try and encourage me to drink!

Mary we too had a family meal last night within walking distance and that would be an excuse to drink but I didn't so my dad and sister didn't either, then made for a nice Monday wake up with no fuzzy head!

Good luck for the week ahead everyone!

[finnishbiscuiteater]

well - that's day 3 of yoga camp done (I've now accepted, created and embraced!)

Not sure how it will fit into weds-fri, when I don't work from home! Maybe I'll have to getup 30 mins early to fit it in... Still not sleeping well, so may struggle with that... I can't wait for the slimmer, fitter, richer happier healthier me to kick in. Still feeling fat old knackered and cross-patch at the moment!

[lilybetsy]

I think I should try and do the yoga 30 day challenge thing too ... I'm guessing its on youtube ?

[finnishbiscuiteater]

Yes, I'm doing the 30 day yoga camp with Adrienne. On youtube.

Best bit today was where she went:

' create space between thy, thy, crotch and thine ankle. OK, it's going to be one of THOSE kind of days then'

[MatronLittle]

finnish I enjoy my job which is a good thing. It is very varied. I used to work in the NHS and it took me 10 years of studying to retrain .

I never get yoga and I wish I did! I am in turn jealous of your yoga space creating abilities

[MatronLittle]

I have a bit of confusion to report. My DM and DH have misunderstood and think that I am asking them to help me moderate......

Its strange but when you tell someone you are stopping forever it reminds of that sketch where a vegetarian goes to a party and is offer a ham sandwich because it's 'only wafer thin ham'.

[Lucy2610]

Evening all and welcome to efc and finnish from me :)
Week-end away was total and utter car-crash. Stayed by the sea with old drinking friends who are still caning it hard but where things have deteriorated further. I'm sad to say that I couldn't wait to leave and it was a timely reminder of why I stopped and where I would be if I hadn't :( Need another week-end to emotionally recover and self-care is being piled on . Did try the Carlsberg 0% while in one of the pubs which was tasty & got a run in beside the sea which was restorative and much needed.

[MatronLittle]

Lucy you have my empathy. Watching things escalate for people you care about is upsetting. Recognising that this could have been you is nothing short of distressing.

[IamAnIAMSgirl]

Lucy - it must have been very difficult being in an enclosed space with drinking friends who were all bonded by being pissed. Well done for sticking to your guns!i am now on day 43.

I had a lovely weekend. DH and I went out and I drove. We went somewhere we would never be able to go if both drinking as too far out/not on bus route etc. it made a nice change to go there and I felt my not drinking really opened up our world!

Today I was in the supermarket and clocked all the wine and did think for a split second that I would like a drink, but bought the lime and lemongrass cordial instead. A smidgen of that is lovely with pellegrino!

[CooeeOnlyMe]

Evening all, currently sitting in the car waiting for DS1s activity to finish. So this is just a quick post to say well done Lucy, your weekend sounds grim. I can't imagine being around people who are pissed for an entire weekend. Friday night was long enough!

Well done too to Mary and Finnish, the first week done! It gets easier from here on!

Matron what a bugger about your DM and DH. I think you said your family are all drinkers, do you think that may be shy they find it hard to hear that you have stopped? And yes to the wafer thin ham analogy! This is why I still tell people I have stopped 'for now'. It seems easier for people to accept.

It turns out DH mentioned to the inlaws that I have stopped. DMIL took it very well, but did start making excuses for her own drinking. I'm not judging her, her life is very hard at the moment due to FIL illness and she has no support locally.

Right he's finished, back to taxi driving I go! Have a good evening sober warriors!

[Lucy2610]

Thanks ladies :) I fear for them both as I'm pretty sure he is physically addicted and his world is starting to unravel already. She is enmeshed, enabling and struggling herself. He spent 70% of the time hiding/avoiding us by staying in the pub because being around non-drinkers was too much for him Grim doesn't even start to describe it ....
Matron could you restate your intention so they are more clear about your aim?

[Lucy2610]

Eating my body weight in G&B's salted caramel thin tonight by way of comfort I'll be needing another run soon to undo the damage