DRY 13

[lilybetsy]

This is the thread for all those who are living, or committed to living, life free from alcohol.

I will quote a sober poster "I'm fitter, slimmer, richer, happier & healthier"

Go sober warriors !

[vxa2]

Sorry shark cross post there. If you can talk to your husband that would be very helpful I think. You don't need to say anymore than you want. I have been drip feeding my DH a bit because I was not comfortable telling him everything at first. He still doesn't know everything but he has a better idea.

If you could get the wine somewhere locked or perhaps the loft that would be better than nothing but don't put it in the fridge.

I don't think you are in denial at all.

[SharkSkinThing]

Thanks for taking the time to post vx.

And well done on Day 49! I say absolutely book/purchase a sober treat!

I am going to move it all into the garage tonight, and just say that I need to space under the stairs for the hoover! It's not as far away as I would like it, but it's better than in the house.

Drip feeding feels a weird (I have a really good relationship with DP) but if I approach it as you have it feels ok., Not lying, just building up the courage!

Thanks so much again.

[AbsoluteBeginner]

Garage would be too close for me. I would give it away. If anyone gives me a gift of wine or champagne in future I'm going to give it back to them. I don't really care if they find me rude - staying sober is more important. I'm hoping they would understand, if it's anyone who cares at all.

[vxa2]

boodles are you around. If I am on 49 days are you on 51 ? I hope you are celebrating

[lilybetsy]

yay vxa day 49 ! Fantastic , can you see the difference in the mirror ? I definitely can now ...

To shark and 4 and ripley and everyone else very early days.. It IS rough the first two weeks or so. I was very anxious, sweaty, edgy, exhausted but couldn't sleep, had poor concentration and sugar cravings. I think it's important to recognise this and take whatever steps you can to protect yourself. Remove alcohol from your vicinity, etc etc...it really does get easier , at least physically.

Someone mentioned being regretful and not having another drink, about missing the good times had while drinking - I think it's worth " playing the tape through" when you get thoughts like this ... Remember what it was REALLY like, either later on when very drunk, the blackouts, the arguments, or the next morning feeling sick, hungover and ashamed. THATS a much more realistic picture of what will happen ...than the one glass of chilled wine in the garden followed by happy families and a good nights sleep ...

Try to embrace sobriety as a new chapter in your life ? Something positive to be celebrated rather that mourning what is left behind. It's a bit like when children leave primary school or something - you look forward to their future but feel a bit nostalgic about the past - try to put the drinking days behind you - the future "slimmer, fitter, happier, healthier and richer" is looking good :-) {thanks FWL for the quote - it's my new favourite}

lily 🌷

Ps feel free to ignore me, I only have 68 days - so I am by no means an authority, but it helps me to look forward. I'm 51 now and spent 30 years drinking to significant excess. The blackouts were getting worse and the hangovers more debilitating ... I need to move on and leave alcohol behind me

[HowBadIsThisPlease]

Hi everyone

Hope you're having a good day.

I think I need to do something about my coffee habit... I think I had a panic attack last night, when I was about to fall asleep I became convinced I was having a heart attack. Not that convinced, but shaken up. I tried to stick to tea this morning but I had a tough meeting in first thing and I didn't feel up to it without the fake energy.

Well done to everyone doing so well.

Rainy here and a little bit cold.... perversely, I quite like it. Looking forward to riding my bike home and getting some rain on my face later.

More tough meetings now. Wish me luck
Have a good day, all

[vxa2]

Hi lily thanks for the congrats. I can't believe it. I remember when you posted your 42 days and I thought I'd never make it but here I am !

Everything you say is as always spot on. I think the analogy of leaving primary school is really helpful. I didn't want my youngest to move up to secondary school but nearing the end of Year 7 it's been fine. In fact it's much easier than primary school.

Howbad perhaps stick to decaf. I might've wrong but I think tea has about the same amount of caffeine. ?

[SharkSkinThing]

I've moved the lot. I really am OK with it out there, it's far enough to make me think twice and for DP to wonder what the hell I am doing!

I've done spin today so feeling .

Lovely words from everyone, thank you as always.

[SharkSkinThing]

How I get this if I drink coffee after 12pm!

Can you drink it til then, then switch to decaf in the avo? I'm also enjoying a herbal tea at bed time. Can't believe it, really, but it does help wind me down!

[Lucy2610]

Shark I moved it all into the garage initially and was okay with that too. Then slowly gifted it all away!
Rose found the cherry bakewell green tea and another one too - fudge melt all absolutely delicious

[CloverCannot]

lurker alert

Day 4 AF, and survived a tough time at work followed by a fraught supermarket trip with DCs in tow, coming out with no wine but rather a box of salted caramel teabags and a bottle of Belvoir cordial.

I feel rude for butting in, and I appreciate that this thread is so much more than just this, but thank you for being an antidote to the "wine o'clock" narrative which for some of us is frankly too comfortably enabling.

Best wishes to all.

[FuzzyWhiteLegs]

Welcome Clover

I am just about to break out the Belvoir fizzy as well .

Hope all soberwarriors are doing OK. HowBad, I hope you got through your day of meetings without too much trauma, and that you are able to kick back and relax this evening .

Vxa day 49 where did the time go! Amazing, well done you And you Lily with your 68 days. In fact, s to everyone, from day 1 to day 1000 and beyond, because we are all awesome . And where is Boodles??!

Am going to get that drink now before I explode the thread with an overuse of emojis

[Sybilramkinvimes]

Hello everyone and hi clover :) as always lots of interesting posts about why we feel the way we do. And that makes it so much easier to keep on. I recognise so much here!

Yes, yes get rid of any temptation! I can't have alcohol in the house. If we're going out and taking a bottle as a gift, I get it on the way, plus an af alternative. I failed to start dry January on the 1st (an unedifying story) and on the 2nd ceremonially poured all the booze in the house away. Pretty much the best thing I've ever done.

Incidentally, have just got back from after work drinks and was completely happy with my Diet Coke. The first few times it felt very odd but it's become the new normal - really wasn't bothered. It gets easier as you make new habits.

Well done everyone on your af days

[Sybilramkinvimes]

Oh and YES to play the tape forward. I find that's one of the best things - make yourself think honestly about whether you'll have "one" drink or if it will be a hangover, horrible sleep, wasted day after etc. That's really positive as a coping tool.

[RipleysSister]

Welcome clover, and hi all. Thank you for the 'play the tape through' advice lilybetsy, I am doing it now. Had an awkward meeting at DC's school earlier, one of those ones where you come out thinking of all the things you should have said. Don't want to go into detail but nothing really resolved and it just left me feeling cross. Normally I would have a beer, I'm absolutely gagging for one. Having a pint of diet coke is sort of helping, and focusing on all the positives you lot have been listing. It's not bloody easy though, is it.

I must get some of this Belvoir fizzy. I've never heard of it before. Do they do it in Sainsbury's?

[Lucy2610]

Clover welcome and congrats on day 4 :) Comfortably enabling I like that ALOT and so true!
Off to climb in the bath as it's been a long week. Had tea and extra chocolate to compensate as recognised I was struggling with the HAT of HALT. Sometimes I chastise myself for being grumpy when I'm actually just hungry and therefore struggling with energy levels so noticed something new today. Hope everyone has a lovely evening

[AbsoluteBeginner]

clover hi it's good to hear you and you are certainly not rude. Day 4 is great. Good on you. In my early days, days 5 to 11 ish, I set my 'wallpaper' / 'screensaver' on my phone, to a picture of the number I was on. It helped me feel positive about the choices I was making and the 'clear blue water' I was starting to build up since my last drink. It helped me early on (when it could have gone either way)

[FuzzyWhiteLegs]

Ripleys Well done for hanging in there. Can I suggest, if you are struggling at all, try a drink with proper sugar in it. Your body will be missing the sugar as well as the alcohol, and it might be that diet coke doesn't quite hit the spot for you!

Beloved cordials and ready-mixed are just delish - grown up tasting, not overly sweet, can be jazzed up or drunk straight. Nice for that sitting down at the end of the day with a drink moment. www.belvoirfruitfarms.co.uk/our-drinks/ I don't know about sainsbury's, but I'd be surprised if they don't stock them.

[FuzzyWhiteLegs]

Bloody autocorrect! Belvoir obv (although, indeed, beloved also in this house!!).

My favourites are the elderflower ones, including elderflower & rose, but also like the blueberry & blackcurrant and the lime & lemongrass.

[RipleysSister]

Cheers fuzzy No drinks with sugar (or booze, luckily) in the house, and I don't take it in tea or coffee but I'm feeling much better now, especially after a long dog walk. Am going to settle down with a book as soon as I've got the kids to bed. Am going to look for Belvoir tomorrow, the lime and lemongrass sounds gorgeous.

[LikeaHurricane]

Welcome Clover, stay on the thread and post regularly, it's good therapy
Today I saw Becks Blue Lemon in Sainsbury's, I didn't buy any as I'm not really a AF beer drinker but I've never heard of it before so I thought I'd share. It'll be like a shandy won't it?
Belvoir cordials are beautiful, I like them with sparkling water.
I haven't had any of the fizzy ones yet but they will be just as lovely.
Bottled Green and also a good brand
KOKO Sober Warriors xx

[LikeaHurricane]

Bottled Green are also a good brand.....that should say

[Rosewinehunt71]

Evening Everyone thank you so much to you all for helping me, felt a bit better today and treated myself to some Shloer after work and feel nicely chilled tonight - no tears tonight!! Welcome all newcomers love this thread and everyone who's here sharing all thoughts and helping each other Go Sober Warriors!!!

[HowBadIsThisPlease]

Hi all

thanks Fuzzy, yes the meetings went better than I had any right to expect!

Happy to be home now. thinking what to eat and whether to go mad and have a becks blue or not ;)

I love this time of the year: light evenings, silvery rain, daisies everywhere, just love it.

[SharkSkinThing]

Welcome clover and how lovely to wake up to such positive and supportive posts.

Day 11 AF for me now. And a very busy day ahead (then away for the weekend at my Mum's). I will try and post later, but if I go quiet, please don't panic, am just looking after my Mum for a few days.

And no chance of drinking, as will be driving a 500 mile round trip!