DRY 13

[lilybetsy]

This is the thread for all those who are living, or committed to living, life free from alcohol.

I will quote a sober poster "I'm fitter, slimmer, richer, happier & healthier"

Go sober warriors !

[finnishbiscuiteater]

I'll look into headspace - because I have no wifi in my bedroom, and a stupid windows phone, I need to find podcasts I can download for sleep meditation - because I love falling asleep to them, but can't afford the data useage to play them via youtube...

good luck with your work thing - will you be in a hotel where you can do and early morning swim rather than the boozy late nights? If it helps to post here, you know you can post without name-checking/supporting others for a few days - if the accountability thing is useful to you...

I''ve just checked and today is my 60 days! That's perked me up :)

[finnishbiscuiteater]

Sorry - I missed your post jojo - thanks for your words and time

The support on this site really means a lot to me. Today, I'm not drinking

:)

[jojomo]

Evening all, despondent here after a few days of feeling really positive. Being sober for a lot of this year (along with my children getting older and dh's job becoming more secure) has allowed me to think about getting my career back on track. In a nutshell I qualified late as a teacher (did lots of rubbish jobs for about 8 years after leaving uni) and only did one and a half full years teaching before I got married & had kids. Eldest is now 9. Did a lot of supply when he was little but then we had to re-locate twice, I had another ds and my career has just got lost. I've been feeling so good that I've started to look at how I can get back into it but all my positivity has ebbed away today as it's a huge mountain to climb and I think I was rubbish anyway. Am remembering all the jobs I applied for when on supply and didn't get - even a TA job a couple of years ago when I last felt confident enough to embark on this. Oh dear, am now crying again...perhaps I've got PMT aswell. Will be back later. At least am not drinking!!

[onewhitepillowleft]

finnish - well, tomorrow and saturday I'll be in a hotel with a mini bar, bar, boozy dinners etc - that will be hard and I am worried about it. I'm used to feeling a bit crap and lonely in hotels and getting pissed until I pass out - mainly because the work is stressful and involves a bit of a performance of confidence from me, when actually I am quite shy and prefer alone time - and partly because I feel bad about being away from my family.

Then I'm back on Sunday for a bit, then away on Monday until the following saturday - that's more of a country house type thing with boozy dinners every night, but less stressful sort of work.

So basically, I am a bit tense about it all. If I can check in, I think I will.

[lizzytee]

pillow - work trips big trigger for me too - and I feel crap the next day due to bad sleep/bad wine/air conditioning dehydration.

Day 27 and the wine witch is jabbing me in the ribs again. Go away lady. Each time she says, go on, have a glass, you deserve it for being so good.....I picture the 25 odd bottles of wine that I haven't drunk.

I don't like that picture, but it's a truthful one.

So glad to have you ladies to check in with.

[onewhitepillowleft]

lizzy I am glad it just isn't me. I always get a bit blue and miserable the night before I have to go away for work. It isn't often, it isn't optional and it is swish while I am away - so I really shouldn't moan. But I'm an introverted homebody and I find it horrifying. A note today saying 'all hotel expenses covered' and I thought - oh good, I can drain the minibar - before I could catch myself. I don't want to drink - I've not drunk for over a month - but still, that was my first instinctive thought. I feel like I am still very very early days in all this.

Another thing is - someone who I will meet and work with there - not seen this person in a couple of years, but the last time I did I was leathered and oversharing. I doubt he'll care or remember, but I care and remember.

finnish if you sign up to Headspace (there's a fee) you can download them to your phone - but they also have free ones on iTunes that you can download too, just to see if it's for you. It is classic Buddhist meditation but with all the spiritual stuff taken away. That might suit you, might not. If you don't get on with it, Jon Kabat-Zinn does something similar, but it is a little more spiritual and philosophical - he has some lectures and stuff on youtube, but he also has a site that you can download things from (for a fee).

jojomo hope you're okay. You sound a bit blue and overwhelmed. Do you need a sleep, and then to attack the problem in little bits, maybe next week when you're feeling better?

[Sirona]

The stop smoking isn't going finnish, bought a packet last night Not an excuse but my anxiety is quite high atm. Back, hip and leg has flared up again coupled with a vague cytstitis feeling and it's making me anxious something else is going on. Have a gp appointment made but will take a couple of weeks. Will try again in a couple of days once I've calmed down a bit. Have headspace downloaded but never really got into it, might give it another whirl as I think I need something like that at the moment.

[onewhitepillowleft]

Oh god. Still feverish. I feel like shite. Off to dope myself up with paracetamol and do my work thing. Going to beg off the meal and have a hot bath and an early night. Am ignoring minibar.

[lizzytee]

Good plan pillow. Take it easy.

[efc1878]

pillow sounds like a good plan, hope you feel better in the morning.

finnish that sounds so tough everything going on at home, drinking will always make things harder in the long run. When I'm home I watch a lot of Netflix- house of cards, Homeland, narcos, orange is the new black are my faves. I also read. It sounds boring but I know for me it's safer then sinking wine, getting upset and feeling shocking.

So tired today, I'm planning bath and bed.

On the plus side had a good review in work- just 6 weeks sober has made my head so much clearer.

Big hugs to everyone staying sober tonight!

[onewhitepillowleft]

Didn't get out of the work meal - have just got back to the hotel. But....


I AM SOBER

I feel like a champion. People were offering me drinks, filling my glass - wouldn't take no for an answer.... it was horrible and I really really really really was tempted.

But I did it. Mainly because I was thinking about you guys and I really wanted to get back to the hotel and crack open my laptop and tell you that I'd done well.

I know we don't know each other, but imagining you all really helped me tonight.

Thank you x x x x x

P.S I also smoked a lot. But that can be tomorrow's problem. One thing at a time.

[lizzytee]

Well done pillow, well done. Bet you feel like a warrior this morning - as well as hangover free.

Re smoking - one thing at a time is right I think.

When do you get to go home again?

[efc1878]

pillow well done! Bet you feel good for it this morning! Hope you are feeling better all round.

lizzy morning hope you're ok.

jojo don't get overwhelmed by the career ideas. Do you like teaching or are you thinking of something totally different? It's ok not to know and try something different even?

Off to walk the dog- think he'd rather be in bed!

[jojomo]

Thanks all, am a bit calmer today. Am thinking I may try and do something completely different career-wise and so will need to re-train. Good thing I've stopped drinking because it will cost money!!

Well done onewhite on coping with your work thing and have a good sober weekend everyone.

[finnishbiscuiteater]

Well done onewhite, you are a sober champion! - sounds awful though! It's amazing how bad people can be about drinking (although I know I can be like that too ) - but pouring drinks into your glass when you've said no!

I did get so very close to buying fags yesterday though! I share your pain One and Sirona

Morning efc - you're up bright and early on a saturday morning

Am starting to feel better - and I'm still sober. Today is 2 months exactly of being sober, which is good.

What sort of thing would you want to do jojo?

waves at lizzy

[Sirona]

Fantastic pillow you . That would have been a hard one to do, wtf with people filling your glass when you said no?

Also watch a lot of boxsets and read. Final few episodes of House of Cards to go. Have you seen the series 'Love'? I didn't really like it at the start and was just watching it for something easy but by the end I had sympathies for one of the characters as struggles with booze features in it.

Have found a real pleasure in getting back to reading this week. Haven't had the attention span in months and can't read when I'm pissed. Memoirs of a geisha has been on my kindle for ages and finally got round to starting it and love it.

2 months is brilliant finnish, do you have a nice treat planned for yourself today? Glad you're feeling better.

No ciggies in the house this morning so maybe give it another whirl

[onewhitepillowleft]

Thank you everyone!

I left my fags in the hotel this morning. Woke up and this weird achy feverish thing I've had for a week has turned into a full blown head cold.

I have this afternoon and tomorrow to get myself right before going away on Monday and smoking will not help.

I am so glad I am not hungover.

Well done finnish on two months. What is it like?

jojo what kind of thing would you like to do? Work with children, or something completely different from teaching?

[lizzytee]

Thanks Finnish and efc, I'm just fine. One of those days yesterday where I would have 'needed' a bottle of wine to unwind:

Up at 5.30
Went running
Music practice (kids) before school
Meet friends at local cafe for breakfast (2 year 6s doing this for the last time
To DD1 school gate to rattle a cup collecting non-uniform day contributions
1.5 hr upper school instrumental concert
PTA meeting- review school fair result. Made £500 less than last year, partly because despite me reminding people every time they don't properly check the cost of what they've bought against the price they plan to sell at.
1hr lower school instrumental concert.
30 mins late for a voluntary support group I run every week, luckily only one person there when I arrive, there for 1hr20mins, about 5 consultations
1.5hr upper school individual learners concert. DD1 goes home on her own.
Collect DD2 from school, go get documents certified at solicitor.
Back home, collect DD1, get passport photos done at chemist. Go to local cafe for food, order nice mock tail as treat, kids drink most of it, the ferrets. Order another.
Come home, DD1 wants to make cupcakes. She's dyslexic so recipe execution has to be supervised to avert disaster, but she resists direction. Cakes made.

Finally sit down to unwind, DH rolls in from a day at the cricket at 7.45pm, I find that DD1 has tried to make icing for the cupcakes on her own, manage to catch her before she's made an horrific mess.

At this point I nearly lose it- but don't. Sober I stay (it wasn't unusual for me to start drinking at 5 while cooking) and in bed at twenty past nine.

All better today.

[onewhitepillowleft]

Bloody hell lizzy. You are amazing. Well done!

[AbsoluteBeginner]

Yes medals for you Lizzy, wow. Onewhite brilliant effort re sober night out. Day 200 here, a nice number!

[onewhitepillowleft]

Well done absolute 200 days is really something. :)

[lizzytee]

Thanks ladies

Honestly 4 hours of under-12s scraping, bashing and parping on various musical instruments had me on the edge of sanity.

MIL arriving tonight, she has wine every night with dinner - 2 glasses, no more. Heaven forfend there's no wine. However a) I don't really like red wine and b) actually as long as the rule is I'm AF I think it'll be ok. I've found that having told DH that I've gone AF because I am worried I'm too dependent on alcohol makes it easier not to drink.

[onewhitepillowleft]

lizzy you have the patience and stamina of a weight-lifting saint. I do not think I could have coped with a day like that myself.

Do you get on with your MIL? Will she be okay with you not drinking, or put the pressure on?

[lizzytee]

Many congratulations Absolute that's amazing.

Thanks pillow. I get on fine with my MIL - luckily I don't think she's remotely bothered whether I'm drinking or not. Was itching to drink a bit during dinner but I think that's because we have exactly the same routine every summer when she comes over.

I am patient- but have to be careful about recognising how many of other people's demands I absorb. I'm not very good at asking others for emotional support - classic eldest child per the counsellor I saw a couple of years ago.

[Sirona]

Get you lizzy, that made me exhausted just reading that

Major accomplishment on 200 days absolute, congratulations!!