What would you put in DATING THREAD 101....

[tanyadm]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize-they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Read Why Men Love Bitches (aka WMLB), and take from it what you will. 12. Don't serve up moose burgers on the first date (although this is still in debate right now) 13. Matthew Hussey also very useful. And very easy on the eye even if you don't find him any good. 14. IF THEY SAY THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP, THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP.

Dating thread 101 - the room where we throw out all the rubbish dates, and find only good ones.....

Greetings fellow daters.

I'm firmly marking my place! Sod it, I'm thinking about getting back on the wagon after all your helpful advice. Particularly about tinder, eek

What have you got to lose? (apart from time?)

True story trills although I'm not sure wagon was the correct word, should have been horse!

Waves... mrsL go for it!!!

Hi new to this dating business just about to take my first steps in to after being with exh for 20+ years. He dumped me last year so im thinking its time to just meet people and see how it goes!

Found you all! Is the old thread full?

Hi to all the new daters.

I have read the other thread, and am caught up, I think.

Freaky I'd leave it with Bacon and let him initiate the next contact after his Tinder message. Or just say 'Hi' or something equally innocuous. Not that I'm any good at this sort of thing (see later).

Waving I have a really good feeling about you and MTG - I know it's hard that you aren't able to be in contact so soon after meeting, because it's easy to let your imagination run away with you and think he's met someone else or something, when in reality, he's probably just sailing (he is sailing, isn't he?) and doing stuff with ropes and whatnot am clueless about sailing, being on the sea makes me sick as a dog

JollyP give your Serious Man a chance - he could be much less serious IRL, some people aren't that brilliant at messaging.

Catty - tell us more - who is he, and are you seeing him again?!

MrsLannister OLD has brought out all the insecurities that I thought years of therapy had sorted out in me, I think it goes with the territory But the thread is a great place to let it all out!

Sassy : Time to move some 'simmerers' to the front burner and start the deselection process for the next front runner

I've just posted on the old thread - should I copy and paste to here or will people go back and fill the old thread?

I'd put fish shots in dating room 101.

Can I be added to the faceboo group please?! :) Who do I PM?

Btw, can someone explain the use of "irons" in the dating context? I'm confused.

Anyway, had a fantastic first date with the Russian dude! So handsome! At first I was worried about possible cultural barriers but we soon got into mutual interests and we started having fun. Seeing him again on Sat.

Waving possible sign of control issues I'm guessing. And what Trills said.

lastnickname I agree that I find OTT sexual flirting quite intimidating and therefore offputting.

Some like the thrill of the chase and are not seeking a relationship so I would take the 'not at all' bothered about full time care of a 3 year old with a pinch of salt....

Very useful advice!

I wonder if he's been reading advice about seeming like you are very busy and popular

See, that would put me off. If someone is so busy, do they even have time for a partner?

P.S. I have just bought WMLB! (No spoilers or opinions till I've read it please!)

Marking place.

tanya amen to throwing out the rubbish ones! I may just ban the s iron from this thread on that basis.

lannister go for it!!!!

muddling and geordie welcome!

batshit yay on moving some irons off the back burner. Sorry this thread moves so fast! Why do
You need closure from mrm, what happened there?

foxtrot I'd move it here. The thread is virtually full.

I'll copy and paste as I need advice on what to do about my MrRescue...

Sassy I've seen MrM three times - first date was a quick lunchtime one, following by an early Saturday evening into Sunday afternoon one (I stayed at his) and then a Thursday evening into Friday morning (I stayed at his again) one. Then he was away for a week with work, he mentioned wanting to see me 'at Easter' but didn't get back until Friday, and I heard nothing from him until I caved and messaged him yesterday night. He didn't mention seeing me, just that a family member was coming to stay :-/ I'd rather he said he didn't want to see me again, to be honest, and I am so annoyed I messaged him last night!! We have had an actual conversation where he said he really liked me, and that he was quite insecure about whether I liked him, but that's just words. Actions aren't really showing that. So. Two new irons are front and centre, and are much better at messaging (already) that MrM was. But I feel sad about him because I liked him, and also because I want to know one way or the other, you know?

Geordie I need to re-read WMLB - it's good. Also good is Mr Unavailable and the Fallback Girl (I need to re-read that, too ....)

I'm not copying and pasting but I'll just mention the main points here to update .

My slight dilemma is one of my irons MrRescue who seems like a lovely man, we had a coffee date arranged last week. I had to cancel because my child was ill and we are going to rearrange this week. But as time goes on I feel more and more that I'm not going to be physically attracted to him. I'm not sure whether to let him down now or just do the coffee date then let him down. I really can't see it going anywhere. Maybe I'm not thinking positively enough?

I have two other irons - MrBath who is local, gorgeous and wants to meet when he is back from working away next week. We have exchanged phone numbers and I'm particularly excited about him. MyGify is the other, he is based further away than I would usually go for but he was keen to meet and he won me round. He said he is free on Wed this week and I said that would work for me, shall we arrange something and I've not had any further messages! That was 9pm last night! I'm leaving it with him now.

I have some lovely matches that I might try to turn into irons later.

Batshit I agree his actions are not showing that he really likes you. Could his insecurity just be an excuse? It's good that you're putting more energy into the other irons.

Bat your MrM scenario has shades of my Twix angst - lovely dates but nothing more concrete and a lack of planning. Although Twix has been in daily contact since before we met 4 weeks ago. Whenever you contact them it feels like a mooseburger canapé. But with Twix I get that there's nobody else in the mix, he's just happily getting on with his stuff. And I'm chilling a bit and reminding myself that the slow pace is giving us a good chance...

I should deffo be doing other irons, I think.

I just bloody well don't want to!

Waaaaaaaaaahhh!!!

Am I the only one feeling uncomfortable that the other thread is not full it sort of feels wrong. I need to complete it or it will be forever unfilled. Maybe I need help..

Handy you've had the exclusive chat with Twix though haven't you?! Find other ways to fill your time. Don't force anymore irons!

Yeah I think I just am feeling the gaps in between dates. But they can't be helped while we are keeping things away from the kids...

The kids are driving me mad! Eldest daughter has just closed a drawer in the kitchen with her knee trapping and pumelling her mangled, glued, painful cut finger in it. FFS!!!!!!!!!!! Cue teenage drama, tears and more ibuprofen. I said she was a wally. She didn't appreciate that!!!

Back to school now pleeeeease!!!!!!!

Daunting is how im feeling about it all waving!
My friend at work set me up a profile on match last week as i just felt so low about myself she wanted me to realise that other people would like to meet me and im not a failure. I have only just got the courage to pay for the subscription im so nervous about it all but i need to get out and meet people.

Dr Foxtrot I think I'd have that date, then let him down gently after that. But I'm an old softy and would feel better doing it that way. And a coffee date can be quite brief, can't it ...?

Handy yes, it does have shades of that. I think MrM is not a planner, well, not too far in advance. He puts his grown up children first, which is a good thing. He did tell me he wasn't seeing anyone else, but seemed to think I was (I wasn't, then!), so the insecurity thing might be true. I have an awful 'I'm not good enough' thing going on, which means I'm not that secure myself!! I totally get the not wanting any other irons, although I was rather persuaded by the two I got this weekend - before then there was no-one I was interested in at all!

Right, I'm going to carry on with my two new dates this week, and my penpal, who is on his way back to London. And I'll see what happens with MrM over the next week. I don't want to message first (again) but if his insecurity thing is what's going on, he'll probably not message me! Might aim for something breezy during my lunch break at the end of the week.

Gah!! It's all difficult!

muddling good luck!