Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

He used me for sex :-( feel so sad

255 replies

Confused2015xxx · 03/08/2015 16:32

A man persued my for years .
Charming and I was really attracted to him .
We text all the time and got on well .
Two weeks ago he came to mine and we had some drinks .We got on so well and really clicked .
I was just finishing my period and wasn't planning on having sex but he convinced me .
Anyway since he's hardly gave me the time of day .
He sent me a few messages but doesn't seem bothered about having a convo with me .
He told me he he loved me and stupidly I believed him .
We have known each other years .
I text Him 4 hours ago and no reply .
What did I do wrong ?
I feel really sad :-(
I'm not normally this stupid and niaeve but I hand on heart thought it was genuine .

OP posts:
helenahandbag · 03/08/2015 16:36

Are you the poster who slept with her friend's brother? That poster also put spaces before punctuation marks and had just finished her period when she had sex with him...

ImperialBlether · 03/08/2015 16:39

He sounds horrible, pursuing you like that and then not wanting to be in touch with you.

Are you sure you'd even want to be with someone who could behave like that?

handfulofcottonbuds · 03/08/2015 16:41

Don't text him again, stay strong.

It happens unfortunately, best that you find out now. If he does message you in a week or two - ignore him. In fact, block him.

I'm sorry you feel rubbish.

LavenderLeigh · 03/08/2015 16:44

Does this man have a GF and a 5 week old baby? The situation and unique punctuation seem identical

butterflygirl15 · 03/08/2015 16:46

delete his number and block him.

helenahandbag · 03/08/2015 16:51

LavenderLeigh

I'm glad it's not just me!

Ahemily · 03/08/2015 16:51

Lavender & Helen, was just thinking the same thing...

AcrossthePond55 · 03/08/2015 16:54

You made a foolish mistake. Chalk it up to experience and move on.

And if you ARE the poster who had sex with someone who has commitments elsewhere, shame on you.

LoisPuddingLane · 03/08/2015 16:55

Yup same person, definitely. I remember her saying she was on day 5 of her period...

LoisPuddingLane · 03/08/2015 16:56

You ask what you did wrong - I believe you've been told at some length.

AnyFucker · 03/08/2015 16:56

this is the poster who had sex with a bloke with a GF and 5 wk old baby, right ?

LoisPuddingLane · 03/08/2015 16:58

Yes.

Notnowdarling01 · 03/08/2015 16:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Floggingmolly · 03/08/2015 17:00

He pursued you for years?

Ahemily · 03/08/2015 17:00

We need the word "his" to come up to be sure.

LoisPuddingLane · 03/08/2015 17:01
Grin
handfulofcottonbuds · 03/08/2015 17:03

I've been off MN a while so not up to speed with recent posts but if that's true then it's abhorrent!

Disgusting!

YakTriangle · 03/08/2015 17:04

What did he's last message say?

Sorry, couldn't resist.

Offred · 03/08/2015 17:05

Look, we did tell you that's what he was doing on your last thread and that you would be much better off taking control of the situation by not continuing your involvement with him....

I'm sorry for you that you are feeling used but to be quite frank, until you get some help and support you are a sitting duck for this man.

He spent ages chasing you and now he's got you to given in he isn't interested. You've now become the chaser and when he decides he fancies another go you'll be given all the lines about how noble he is again because he's been terribly torn up about what he has done, of course you are star crossed lovers/you are too tempting etc and you'll be perfectly primed to be the grateful, and perhaps increasingly spiteful OW who gets nothing from him but provides for him when he wants on his terms only.

You only think you want him because your self esteem is in the floor being stamped all over by him, that's why you need to cut him out of your life and get some support for yourself.

DextersMistress · 03/08/2015 17:05

I believe that's called karma sweetie .

ScrambledSmegs · 03/08/2015 17:10

Look, he's a nasty piece of work who had sex with someone when his girlfriend had just had his baby. Don't text him. Get some self-respect and move on.

Just because he pursued you for 4 years or so while he was in a relatinship does not make him your soulmate or some such rubbish. It makes him a sleazy bastard. And suggests that your boundaries are somewhat messed up. If not totally missing Sad.

Offred · 03/08/2015 17:10

And please, think outside yourself for a second hey?

Although I seriously doubt that overnight he could have transformed into a committed BF and father, if he is not taking an interest in you right now, given he was cheating with you, that's surely a good thing isn't it?

Though I doubt in reality he is capable of thinking about anyone but himself and this is probably just another planned step in his manipulation of all the women in his life.

Offred · 03/08/2015 17:13

Given that every observable feature of your interactions with him screamed 'disingenuous' and you have now posted at least 3 threads about it, including one before you slept with him where you were overwhelmingly told he wasn't genuine, it really was not very rational to 'genuinely believe him'

Offred · 03/08/2015 17:15

And I'm not meaning to have a go, though this is clearly frustrating, I just think you need to see that you are the key to your own happiness (or misery) not him and you need to get some support for you (maybe the freedom program) to avoid it continuing to wear you down.

LavenderLeigh · 03/08/2015 17:18

If this really is a rerun of the previous thread, (and the one before that which was all about the flirting by text) then what you did wrong was:
Flirt by text with a guy with a gf and a new baby
Get pissed and sleep with him
Have another shag the next morning

All with this man who has a gf who very recently gave birth.
He doesn't care about her, so why did you think he was going to change after one night with you?
You knew exactly what he was like and you knew exactly what you were doing. And many oeople told you what you were doing was wrong and that it would end badly
His poor, poor gf.