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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

The other woman

227 replies

winkywinkola · 16/12/2014 18:16

So, you have her phone number and her email.

You know your h is the swine who betrayed you.

How do you resist contacting her to give her a piece of your mind?

I have a friend who got 'her' ow by the throat once. She said it felt so good to see the witch shit her pants.

OP posts:

Nomama · 16/12/2014 18:23

Oh do, by all means ring and tell her she is an OW and that, whatever the twat has told her, you are still living as a couple, sexually, financially, emotionally, etc.

Let her know he is very much married (she may not be aware) but will be free to join her, should she actually want the cheating bastard, as of this evening.

But you don't have to hurt her, physically.

pinkbear82 · 16/12/2014 18:23

Because you hold the upper hand. You could contact them. But she won't say anything to make you feel better. In fact, seeing as she is probably living a lie already, she'll just lie to you.

Be strong, know you could, but don't. It really isn't worth it.

Bluetonic123 · 16/12/2014 18:25

I think that ow can be as much a victim of the cheater as the spouse. Even if she knew that he was married I imagine he gave her a pack of lies as well.

Ledkr · 16/12/2014 18:27

Nooooooo!
The most satisfying thing is when you do nothing, just chuck the fucker out and crack on with your life.
Maybe giving. Knowing smirk when you finally meet and a slight shake of the head!
My exh ow was so desperate for me to react that she made up lies that I had

thatsmyname123 · 16/12/2014 18:27

Does she know she is an ow? She could be being treated like sh*t too

grumpyoldgitagain · 16/12/2014 18:30

Ring her and say I don't know which one of the women my husband is shagging you are but if you aren't already receiving treatment from the STD clinic you better get down there fast and you are welcome to him and his STD's

AnyFuckerForAMincePie · 16/12/2014 18:32

Don't do it, winky. You are better than that. Your problem is your cheating husband

Ledkr · 16/12/2014 18:34

Just get on with being fabulous!

maras2 · 16/12/2014 18:38

Knee jerk says find out where she lives and drag her out to be branded the Whore Of Babylon;then cut his balls off.However, one can but dream (I think that it may be illegal anyway)

Rebecca2014 · 16/12/2014 18:39

MeMyselfAnd1 · 16/12/2014 18:40

Agree, the problem is your husband. And if your husband is still at home, the last thing you want is for him to feel the need to take her side, and protect her from you.

The more importance you give her, the more important and needed your H feels. Don't give him the chance to think you will do anything to keep him at your side(because that is exactly the thing that may have sent him to her in the fist place).

BuzzardBirdRoast · 16/12/2014 18:41

Your anger is mis-directed.

AnyFuckerForAMincePie · 16/12/2014 18:52

There is nothing bigger as an ego boost to a man that thinks he is entitled to have sexual relationships outside of his marriage than to have women fighting over him

Don't give the Fucker the satisfaction.

avocadogreen · 16/12/2014 19:12

I must admit, I resisted and resisted, even though I had secretly copied down her phone number and email address. I decided to be the bigger person and all that...

Until I discovered they had stayed in my house while me and the DC were away. I'd given the bastard a key so he could get some stuff and he'd brought her here. I was absolutely livid and totally let rip at her on email. ExH called me to say I'd ruined his birthday I have to say it felt good...

listed · 16/12/2014 19:15

The ow gets the lying cheating son of a bitch.

I think that's punishment enough to be honest.

Let her wash his pants and put up with his crap.

Silly fool.

victorianhomedreamer · 16/12/2014 19:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FrogIsATwatInASantaHat · 16/12/2014 19:22

I rang and emailed her. It felt fucking great and i don't regret it. Not one little bit.
I was polite and fully prepared not to have a response. I didn't. I am glad i steeled myself for that. I am now 'living well' which is supposed to be the best revenge.
The email felt better tbh!

AnyFuckerForAMincePie · 16/12/2014 19:26

Vhd, you can say "fuck" on here, it's ok

Go on, give it a go....you might get to like it

NannyAnna · 16/12/2014 19:27

My mum followed my dad from work one lunch time when my sister was 1 and I was 4. She went to meet him at work one day for a suprise lunch to find him kissing in his car with OW. She followed them to my grandmothers house where they were together, walked in the house and confronted them. OW then apparently got in her car and headed for her parents house who lived nearby. My mum screeched off following her. She got out of the car and hurried into her mums house and my mum took the steering lock and smashed her windscreen in! She said it was very satisfying, OW wanted to press charges but my dad managed to convince her not to. My mums excuse was that she knew my dad had a family and young children so there was no excuse, apparently he had photos of us all on his desk. It was an on going affair and I don't see why women shouldn't scare the OW a little! We are primal and in the cases of the OW that know they are messing around with someone else's husband/boyfriend, it's my opinion that we are allowed to go a little mental if we get the chance! Maybe not cause any bodily harm, but no reason why you can't shake the sl*ts up a bit!

AnyFuckerForAMincePie · 16/12/2014 19:29

Winky, love, what have you decided (if you have decided yet, of course) about your future ?

Note I don't say his future, I mean yours

pinkfrocks · 16/12/2014 19:31

Rise above it. Friend of mine did this- left the OW a voicemail threatening all kinds of consequences ( that she wouldn't have been able to carry out anyway) if she came nr her DH again. I just felt embarrassed when she told me. It seemed to undignified and I could imagine the OW laughing at her.

Greencurtain · 16/12/2014 19:31

I'd email asking if she's aware that the man she is seeing is married and that you are still a couple in every way. Sometimes the ow is a victim too. My friend had been in a year long relationship with a man she believed to be single. One day, he accidentally left his phone at hers. She had no suspicions and didn't even snoop but when it rang she answered it and when the caller (member of his family) asked who she was, she cheerfully said he was his girlfriend etc and the family member informed her that he had a wife and baby. She was devastated.

AnyFuckerForAMincePie · 16/12/2014 19:32

Anna, that only has any positivity, in my opinion, if the wronged person gets rid of the cheating fucker forever

If you take them back it just makes you look foolish enough to fight for the booby prize, a false victory after all

MeMyselfAnd1 · 16/12/2014 19:32

Yeah, let's become like animals where the alpha female fight for her position in the eyes of the alpha male...

She should have pressed charges, IMO.

pinkfrocks · 16/12/2014 19:33

Unclear if the affair is over and you have taken him back or he's with the OW?

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