Do sexual partners have the right to expect certain things in bed?

[applemac]

I have recently come out of a long relationship. I agreed with someone I know to have a kind of friends with benefits relationship because I'm very busy. I thought it would be ok, but now I'm thinking I should finish it because he makes me feel like there is something wrong with me if I won't do exactly what he wants.

He is very big and I don't like sitting on top of him during sex because it hurts and I get a sensation like I'm going to wee. He makes me feel like I'm totally unreasonable not to want to do this position because he wants my boobs in his face. He also keeps nagging me for naked pictures of me and he complains if I can't get his penis right down my throat. My blowjob technique must be ok because he always comes. He also likes to be licked anally which I'm happy to do.

In a FWB scenario, is it unreasonable to not want to do certain things? My feeling is that you should treat the person with the same respect as if it was a relationship. He was here last night and he ended up getting annoyed with me because of the position thing. He said 'well I don't care if you wee, just do it' he doesn't understand that I don't want to feel uncomfortable! And I end up feeling like I'm weird and it upsets me.

In any sexual situation it is totally fine to not want to do something.
Just saying no is reason enough and your partner shouldn't try and force the issue.

Ew. Not on in my opinion. The beauty of FWB arrangements is that you get to be completed satisfied and selfish in that slightly different way from in a 'normal' relationship. This is a two-way thing though.

Set boundaries and stick to them.

Have alternating days where one is in charge within those mutually agreed boundaries.

He sounds disrespectful. You should never have to do anything you're not comfortable with.

No, dump this guy he's an arse.

You should never feel pressured to do something you're not happy to be. Just because you're FWB, rather than "conventional" couple youre still a person - not his personal wank sock.

Are you getting any benefit from this?

It all sounds very sad to me?

As Paul Daniels would say...you'll like this...not a lot!

Wow sex with him sounds like fun

I couldn't have a sexual relationship with someone who expected me to do things I didn't want to. Sex should be pleasurable for both parties.

That sounds horrible op I would find another fwb if that's what you want.

He sounds like a complete prick in the bedroom
nobody has the right to get narky if you don't want to do something in bed and that's even if usually you do and enjoy whatever it is.

Find another dude for fwb if that's what you want right now.

Eh no way, sex should be a fun and enjoyable experience, he treating you like a sex toy. I would tell him to piss off and get a blow up doll.
Even in a fwb situation you should treat each other with respect. Hes an abusive arse, be grateful your not in a relationship and get rid.

I've had FWB relationships before where the other person was respectful.

Today I feel quite tearful about it because he's made me feel like a freak or something.

He doesn't sound much if a friend to me, if fact he sounds a complete knob.

Why would you carry on having sex with him, really just end it now.

Christ, no.

Why does he think his perfect gratification is more important than your discomfort and unhappiness? He clearly doesn't care if he's upsetting you in bed.

I think this guy is bad news.

Well, he'd be fair disappointed here I can tell you - and he'd have got his marching orders after the first time he got annoyed I wouldn't 'perform'. Git.

FWB is supposed to be fun & mutually beneficial - not this.

NEXT>>>>>

He's making out do things which are painful, he doesn't care that you feel uncomfortable. He's made you feel like a "freak"

Just stop having six with him!

See if he likes having something shoved down his throat. The bloke sounds like a right prick tbh

Definitely no naked pictures. If he doesn't care about upsetting you, he might not care about your privacy.

sex

And it'll erode your self esteem in that area eventually. I was made to feel so crap at blow jobs once that I wouldn't do them in the end because I thought they were crap. It took a good couple of years with the husband before I got my confidence back.

Don't sleep with him again.

"He said 'well I don't care if you wee, just do it'"

You realise this sentence is actually:

He said 'well I don't care if you don't like it, just do it'

And when you have stopped having sex with him, would you feel strong enough to tell him he's not a very nice person to have sex with?

If someone doesn't tell him, he will continue to treat women like blow up dolls.

( I notice it was your place that he didn't care if you wee'd on!)

Really sorry to hear this, OP. You've just come out of a long relationship and are not sure what is ok or not.

This guys attitude is NOT OK.

He's being uncaring toward you and insensitive. This is NOT OK.

Find someone kind and respectful.

Ditch this bloke at once.

The thing is Bakeoff - I doubt that will make any difference. I said to him;

'Why are you trying to make me do things I don't want to'

There was no response.

He has zero respect for you. It sounds like you are there to simple service his needs