I need to get laid

[fastdriver]

That's it really.

I separated six months ago (after several sexless years). I was a faithful wife.

I don't want another relationship, I don't want to shag anyone else's man (either deliberately or inadvertently), I don't want to end up with genital herpes of anything similar.

I want a NS relationship that's mostly about sex (God I sound desperate ).

I'm fussy about men, don't like bald or shaved heads, beards, paunches or poor hygiene.

I'm 42 and reasonably attractive.

How do I make this happen? Most men are gagging for it, aren't they? It can't be that difficult but I don't know where to start...

Has anyone been in this situation or can give me any advice?

[Poohbearandpiglet]

So funny to find this thread; I came on to MN to actually start a thread and offload a little as a bit today..

Similar to OP, out of a relationship for about 6 months, quite a drawnout breakup so was feeling very sad for a while, but lately have been feeling in need of some fun IYKWIM.
Soooooo, DC were staying at the GPs last night so I could have a night off and I arranged a date (from OD), just a couple of drinks. Date went ok,but neither of us felt a spark I don't think. Anyway on my walk home, I nipped into the local pub as I needed to tell the landlord something and there was a gorgeous guy sitting on his own at the bar (just finished playing some sort of sport).

As I'd had a couple of drinks and I have zero, I mean literally nada tolerance for alcohol and rarely drink, I basically accosted the poor man told him to walk me home!! Then I wouldn't let the poor man leave, so he stayed the night! bloody hell though, I needed that. He was lovely actually and it was great!

Seriously though, very out of character to pick up a random guy in the pub, I'm actually very shy (I did check he was single btw!).

So yes..it is possible to um..erm..find someone for that sort of thing.

[Darkesteyes]

Stuffez if they run away for that reason then they are not worth being with.

And people who are that judgy could also be missing out on an amazing chemistry with someone.
Sexual chemistry ...that spark that happens sometimes is about much more than looks.

[Darkesteyes]

mr francis what is it about us older ladies that you like. Im just curious. And 40 next month unfortunately

[Darkesteyes]

Blondie thats a grt post. See if i was to start seeing someone i would want what you describe.
A bit of intelligent conversation and mental stimulation. its about much more than just sex.

[mrfrancis82]

Darkest Eyes - It stems from conversations at work. Older ladies tend to talk about more interesting things than X Factor and The Voice, or just the whole reality TV culture, that I despise. Also, older women that I've come across are more confident, comfortable in their own skin, which is also a turn on for me.

Don't get me wrong, I like girls my own age too, but would love to experience someone older.

[Blondie1969]

Stuffez - Agree with darkest eyes. If someone is vain enough to go for looks alone you would not be happy or comfortable with them.
You will be amazed what a nice smile or twinkle in the eyes does with regards to getting that spark going.

I can only speak for a bloke in their 40s but over time i have come to realise that looks alone is not enough. If someone projects happiness and feels comfortable then men will ignore the fact if a woman thinks they are overweight.

I suspect that women (and men) who are down about being overweight will come across as down and maybe that stops the sparks flying when they meet someone.

If you want to lose weight then good but rather than (for example) being upset about not being your target weight be happy if you have lost 1lb since you last weighed yourself or be happy that you have only put on a lb despite having two take aways during week and a bottle of wine.

When i separated last year i decided i was slightly overweight. (6 foot four and weighed 14.5 stone with a 37 inch waist). Decided to lose some weight. Started running (or walking with intervals of jogging), eating better. In two months i was down to just under thirteen stone and 33 inch waist. Now i was lucky that i did not need to lose much.
But in that time what helped spur me on (i hate running/jogging) was compliments i got from friends (only one chin rather than two, beer belly gone) and family. Never factored in cost of new clothes but that helped with my confidence/self esteem in terms of buying clothes that fitted rather than were slightly too big or too small because i used to go for sale items.

Men are prats at times and do miss out if they go on looks alone.

[KittensandKids]

That's very true Blondie, funnily enough a guy pal of mine told me to stop taking pictures when my hair was done and take one first thing in the morning to stop the guys who are jut looking for sex. (no idea why as obviously I look perfect in the morning too)

even the best looking people the looks fade, if I could find someone to have a good giggle with I think I would be happy. Or dominoes

[Darkesteyes]

mr francis i cannot stand the whole celebrity culture/reality tv world. I much prefer to talk about deeper things like politics. When it comes to tv i like to watch crime thrillers and mysteries. And i admire talented famous people (actresses and actors like Olivia Colman who was amazing in Broadchurch and Exile and whatever she does really) I dont do soaps at all but people often dont believe that simply because i am female. And i love to read too.

[Darkesteyes]

Blondie you make some good points. About a month ago i cut out all the bad stuff including my beloved pasta and potatos.
I have fish and vegtables in the evening instead.
I dont have scales in the house because id never be off the bloody things.

But i have noticed a difference already. Clothes are looser and i nearly had an embarrasing incident because of it yesterday. So just feeling that bit more comfortable and knowing that i am trying incredibly hard and doing something about it makes me feel a whole lot better.

[Marymoo73]

I've been following this thread with interest, been on my own 18 months now with 2 DCs. Simply dont have the time, inclination or energy for another "proper" relationship, but am missing the intimacy/sex...think I will have a dabble on POF this weekend :)

[Fuckitthatlldo]

Eh? Being overweight separates the misogynists from the nice guys?

So only misogynists are attracted to slim women? I'll give up then shall I?

[Darkesteyes]

I didnt mean it like that Fuck It.

I have yet to hear OI You slim bitch as i walk past a pub.
Eleven years ago when i was 21 stone (i ended up losing ten stone at SW back then and am nowhere near my old big weight now) i used to hear plenty of OI You fat bitch or OI You fat cow though.

Thats all i meant.

[Fuckitthatlldo]

Sorry Darkest - perhaps a slightly prickly reaction on my part.

I do think though, that if a man is a misogynist, he tends not to discriminate. Misogynists hate all women. The men who shouted those vile comments at you didn't have any respect for slim women either.

I hope you get laid by someone lovely

[Darkesteyes]

Fuck It thats exactly what i think too. They tend to hate all women and if its not weight then they usually find fault with something else. No need to apologise. Hope you find a wonderful lover too

[Darkesteyes]

I seem to want sex more and more as i approach 40. After having a (solo) orgasm on Monday morning i seem to want another one.