Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

I need to get laid

315 replies

fastdriver · 26/04/2013 14:37

That's it really.

I separated six months ago (after several sexless years). I was a faithful wife.

I don't want another relationship, I don't want to shag anyone else's man (either deliberately or inadvertently), I don't want to end up with genital herpes of anything similar.

I want a NS relationship that's mostly about sex (God I sound desperate Grin).

I'm fussy about men, don't like bald or shaved heads, beards, paunches or poor hygiene.

I'm 42 and reasonably attractive.

How do I make this happen? Most men are gagging for it, aren't they? It can't be that difficult but I don't know where to start...

Has anyone been in this situation or can give me any advice?

OP posts:
StealthOfficialCrispTester · 01/05/2013 22:12

Hoping you are winding me up, else this is by far and away the strangest thing that has happened to me on mn, and there's a fair bit of competition! :o

AnyFucker · 01/05/2013 22:19

You gave me some comfort that night, stealth

I am indebted to you x

StealthOfficialCrispTester · 01/05/2013 22:25

the world shifted on its axis a bit there but I think it shifted back :o

AnyFucker · 01/05/2013 22:28
Wink
Darkesteyes · 01/05/2013 22:33

Fast ive talked a lot on here about my sexless marriage for the last 2 years and your post at 13.20 proves my point. Its not the fact that im married then

But i saw a post from an Mner on a thread a few weeks back....

If someone doesnt want you at your worst then they dont deserve to have you at your best!

Darkesteyes · 01/05/2013 22:35

And being overweight (although im a work in progress) is a bloody good way of seperating the mysogynists from the nice guys.

Loulybelle · 01/05/2013 22:47

Dark i said that, "If the cant handle me at my worst, then they dont deserve to see me at my best"

Darkesteyes · 01/05/2013 22:56

Oh it was you Lou. Well i totally agree. In fact i would love a mug a coaster and a t shirt with that written on it.

Loulybelle · 01/05/2013 23:04

So would i, as a woman i feel if i wanna look like shit sometimes then fucking will.

Darkesteyes · 01/05/2013 23:11

Caitlin Moran talks about why she chose to lose weight (I love her and the positive messages she gives)
She also mentions how her husband Pete says to her "Cor i love your arse"

He said it to her at a size 24 He said it to her at a size 12.
This kind of man seems incredibly rare but thankfully they do exist.

www.salihughesbeauty.com/videos/video-in-the-bathroom-with-caitlin-moran-part-two/#comments

Loulybelle · 01/05/2013 23:13

Im on the Slimming world diet, need to shed the rest of the left overs that my ex left.

Darkesteyes · 01/05/2013 23:25

Lou What do you mean Sorry Bit thick tonight

Loulybelle · 01/05/2013 23:28

My ex was such a massive twat, i decided to comfort eat, pounds piled on, now its time to get rid of them

Darkesteyes · 01/05/2013 23:35

Lou i totally understand. i comfort ate too after my affair ended and to compensate for the lack of affection.

I can resonate totally.
I made an appointment today with the health nurse to be weighed in a fortnights time. Hopefully i will see it coming off the scales this time.
The reason it was such a struggle last summer was because i wasnt prepared back then to give up the pasta and potatoes. So i hope this works.
Lou you will be fine. You no longer have massive twatitis.

Loulybelle · 07/05/2013 08:58

Oh now i really do need to get laid just to cheer me up.

Blondie1969 · 07/05/2013 10:10

Thought I would add to thread from a male perspective.

Separated last year. Turns out my ex had been having an affair.

After taking time to rearrange life to look after kids around working full time realised I was missing some kind of romance as well as sex (and had been for some time within marriage)

For me I knew i did not want another full on relationship but wanted but decided to test the waters in POF.

As some people have women have said POF can be full of either nutters (men in 40s who think they are Gods gift or men in 20s or 30s trying luck).

Trust me the same is true from a male perspective. I did not want to lead anyone on and met/chatted some really nice women.
But out of all the women I met not many met the "checklist" i set myself.
ie they needed to be intelligent, open. Someone my age. Someone not looking for me to move in or be father to their kids after two weeks.

Someone who wanted dinners, days out. Appreciate this sounds a bit like I was looking for a girlfriend but I did want a little bit more than sex. Maybe a fling or short term romance is the word for it. So even though i mentioned romance earlier on which again signals i was looking for a full on relationship i think what i mean is for someone to have treated me as someone who they wanted to be with (for my conversation!! intelligence as well as the sex!!)

Someone who was not expecting me to text 500 times a day.

POF does work if you take enough care.

But for it too work both parties need to understand from the outset what its about.

I have heard from a few women about horror stories from men they gave numbers too who then would not stop stalking when they were politely turned down.

I have rambled a bit and hopefully will not get shot down like a number of contributors to thread.

I just want to emphasise that you can find that f**k buddy if you try hard enough!!

So best of luck for those women (and men) who are searching.

Loulybelle · 07/05/2013 10:25

Thats a decent perspective Blondie.

cakes1 · 07/05/2013 10:50

ha-ha- loving this thread- hilarious postings hello* gives hello
so the options are ladies are what: let me spice things up here.

Get an MOT from the list below:-)
investment in a battery friend, they don't talk back and its a clean biz
pamper yourself and hire a mesr' to give you an MOT

  • or go the extra mile to top up your mojo
join a gym i.e. free 10 - 30 days and flirt with the large waves of bubbles in the Jacuzzi, just sit on the waves and count sleep :-) purchase a bicycle and get some thrills from countless rides turn temporary bisexual - flip to the other side and get in touch with your femme side regular daily/weekly gym exercise works wonders and if all of the above doesn't float your boat: use what mother nature gave you in front of a good x movie just stating the facts here if you are not up for bagging the real thing i.e. a man who is gagging for it night and dad and barks orders at you 24 x 7 even when you are not in the mood for a shag!

Good Luck getting laid what ever options you decide works for you !

EternalRose · 07/05/2013 12:48

ha! This thread has made me laugh.

mrfrancis82 · 08/05/2013 16:57

I exchanged a few flirty messages with an older woman on here before - it was great but came to an end a while back. Would be happy to do it again with someone and see where it leads. I'm 27.

KittensandKids · 08/05/2013 17:34

Caketurn temporary bisexual - flip to the other side and get in touch with your femme side

Is this even possible ? Confused

Maybe it would be easier liking both sexes, well I do but not in the same way...iykwim

Loullybelly is only 30 and gagging on it would maybe like to swap mail with you!

I have name-changed, I'm fine until August and 27 is just too young for me, I need to start dating/talking too men my own age Sad

I need to find one tbh. I like to talk for a few months before meeting, May, June July.... Nah I will leave it until June/July. Although the DC go away for 2/3 weeks every July.

Dangerous times

StuffezLaYoni · 08/05/2013 17:38

And being overweight (although im a work in progress) is a bloody good way of seperating the mysogynists from the nice guys.

Just opened this thread and read this comment from darkesteyes and think its absolutely spot on. I'm tentatively doing online dating and am terrified that men will see my relatively nice face pics, then see me in the flesh and run away. Sigh.

BicBiro · 08/05/2013 18:17

I'd a fuck buddy. I just need to get past this stage of 'cant be arsed to look for one..' first. wish one would just drop into my lap Grin

BicBiro · 08/05/2013 18:18

I'd like, even.

mrfrancis82 · 08/05/2013 19:38

I'd love to have an FB up to and including her 40's, just to see what it's like. I find older women a bit of a turn on to be honest.