help

[spook]

Please help me. I discovered last night that my husband of 10 years who I love to distraction is having an affair with a young beautiful work colleague whom he says he loves.We have 2 boys aged 4 and 7 and were up until a year or two ago the greatest love story.
I have suspected this affair for a long time and given him countless oppurtunities to come clean.He has lied and cheated for a year.
Please help me.My life is crashing down.

Happy Birthday spook
Ive jst read the whole of this thread and can't give you any advice I'm afraid, but you are strong - you are forcing yourself to survive and be there for your kids, and you are using all the tools at your disposal (including some very wise Mumsnetters) to do so.
The thing that struck me was how many of the people giving you such wonderful advice are the very same people who have in previous years needed this advice themsleves. And not that long ago for some of them. They got through this, and so will you, and though you probably won't believe it now, I'm sure that in a years time you'll still be posting, offering sympathy and advice to another woman treated like shit by her partner.

Happy birthday, Spook. It does get better, I promise.

Happy Birthday Spook! Another year wiser! Hope you have a fabulous day! Keep taking these tiny steps forward and before you know it where you were a month ago will be way, way behind you

Hope you have a Happy Birthday and you are able to smile. Take time to chill out and enjoy the company around you.

One of the best things that came out of my bad experience was the amount of new friends I met. They are still around and we are there for each other. It does get better and you will have good times and memories which hopefully will counteract the bad times. That won't seem possible at the moment but the only way is up!

Thankyou so much everybody.Flowers and cards and presents and messages of support from you lot are flooding in and believe me it makes SO much difference.
Against my wishes a huge box arived from my husband this morning. In it were a beautiful card with a very poignant message,a DVD film with a soundtrack of family photos,and a Marc Jacobs jumper and bag.You'll be glad to know I haven't shredded them or parceled them back up and sent them on to his girlfriend.I do have some sense!!
One of our best friends called me yesterday and said she had spoken to him this week and he was very different.A bit like the old DH.Talked about me alot and how beautiful and lovely I was.He's not with her(my friend seemed to genuinely think he was spending time alone).He even asked her if I thought of this as a trial separation or I was headed for a divorce!!!
This being apart is obviously the best and only thing we could have done and my hardness and distance from him is maybe getting to him.
I know,I know....but we'll see.Time will tell mumsnetters. But I face the day with a positive feel,knowing that I have wonderful friends and support network including all of you.
THANKYOU

Good Morning, Spook, and a big hug for your birthday. Celebrate the wonderful woman you are, and the fact that in whatever form it comes, there will come a time in the next year when chinks of happiness can be reached through your sorrow. Let your friends and your lovely boys carry you through today...how is your older one's split lip????

Oh it's sore thanks Blu.He is trying to be so brave and strong throughout all of this but he is hurting so much.If a 7 year old can look like a broken man then he did when I collected him yesterday. He is so highly strung and sensitive he is either being really quiet or absolutely hyper screaming at everybody (especially me!) Whereas the little one won't go to sleep and has clung to this scratty old doll since the day his father left. Who knows what goes on in their little heads?

Spook, I haven't contributed to this thread till now because I didn't feel I could offer anything in the way of advice, but I have been following it since it started and you have my heartfelt sympathies and admiration.

HAVE A HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!

Big hugs from CM xx

Happy Birthday Spook! Have a good one. Very glad to hear you are hanging on to the Marc Jacobs!

Happy Birthday Spook! I think you should eat chocolate, drink wine, and laugh copiously with your friends, you have definitely earned the right.

Have a lovely day.

Happy Birthday Spook. Like others, I have no advice but am reading the thread often and would like to offer love and support.

Happy Birthday Spook!

Happy birthday! xxxxxxxxx

Happy Birthday to You
Happy Birthday to You
Happy Birthday Dear Spook
Happy Birthday to you

Lots of Love

Twinkie & Family

Dearest Spook wishing you as much happiness as possible for your birthday today.

Happy Birthday Spook, we share the same birthday !!!!
Hope having a Birthday will cheer you up a bit, and remember us Picians are suposed to be air heads and dreamers, but we also have great inner strength !!!

Happy birthday spook (and jac34!)

Have been reading your thread for the start, but have always kept quiet since I don't have the pearly words of wisdom the others do. But today I wanted to be really LOUD and say

HAPPY BIRTHDAY,HAPPY BIRTHDAY,HAPPY BIRTHDAY,HAPPY BIRTHDAY,HAPPY BIRTHDAY,HAPPY BIRTHDAY,HAPPY BIRTHDAY,HAPPY BIRTHDAY,HAPPY BIRTHDAY,HAPPY BIRTHDAY,HAPPY BIRTHDAY,HAPPY BIRTHDAY,HAPPY BIRTHDAY,HAPPY BIRTHDAY,HAPPY BIRTHDAY,HAPPY BIRTHDAY,HAPPY BIRTHDAY,

I am humbled by your strength, courage and unreserved commitment to your children.

Happy birthday Spook! Good to hear you're feeling positive - have a lovely day.

Ponygirl xxx

Dear..Janstar,Blu,Twinkie,Sykes,Bugsy2,BeckiF,sobernow,Wintye,clayhead,jmg,Stripymouse, prufrock,dottee,CookieMonster,aloha,Batters,toot,percy,motherinferior,lupinpooter,pokkingfold,ponygirl and BIRTHDAY GIRL!!jac34!
THANKYOU

I just made Fairy Cakes and sausage rolls with my DS's and were having party food for tea.
Including Jelly and icecream

OOhh where fo you live jac34 I'll be round in 10

Hey Spook, have you looked in 'chat' - there's a whgole thread for you there, too!