This doesn't look good does it?

[Loserville]

My dh left for work at 5pm, 10 mins later I get a text from him 'Hi sexy, get your boobs out'. I just replied with a ? And had no reply.

He never sends text like that to me thank god so I'm thinking it was meant for someone else. Why send me a text like that after just leaving the house 10 minutes before.

It looks suspicious doesn't it? Or else it's a pathetic attempt at spicing things up

LNM if you want to meet up, like others have said, neutral ground - but really, email is better as you have evidence of what is/isnt discussed. OPen a new file for twuntex and direct all his emails to this file.

Has he got everything out of the house that is his? Documents that are his? The sooner you made a direct cut off point for 'stuff' to be sorted/removed the better imho.

I can see SaF pov about him 'getting it' but only if you feel really strong and in control.

At work if a meeting is important I tend to follow it up with a resume to record it -even if informally written in a kind of 'following on from our chat about you doing x are you ok with y if z happens'. More formal or contentious subjects will be written in a very polite and neutral tone assuming it will be read in court (rare but a possibility!!!) ...which means I record pertinent details, make sure there is no ambiguity and no chance to claim misunderstanding or deny agreeing something. It can be done very discreetly and non confrontation-ally.

I wouldn't meet him. It will change nothing and may undo some of the work you've done so far in moving forward. He doesn't deserve to see you and I think he will be thinking he can "win you over" face to face, no kids around.

I want to discuss arrangements to see the girls, don't know what his agenda is

It might be a good idea to find out what his agenda is in advance just so that there are no nasty surprises. Forewarned is forearmed and all that.

How about sending him a text to say what do you want to discuss on Wednesday?

I've just read this whole thread.

I don't have any advice,you don't need it.

I just want to say what Massive Idiotic Dickwad he is,
And how utterly amazing and strong you are.

Your girls are very lucky to have you.

and for you.

Love the name change!

I agree to only communicate by email. There's proof if you need it then.

OP- I have just read 40 pages of your updates and want to add the same as the other posters, you are the strongest most dedicated mum with such amazing integrity that your girls could ever wish for. You girls also sound amazing, especially lovely DD1 with the hug and reassurance bless her. You will be fine as you have your girls, sadly DH is no longer the man you married, he has lost his way and therefore lost out on family life. He is the fool and the loser.

Every day in every way you will get stronger and stronger. My parents divorced for exactly the same reason when I was 5 and my mum was a lot like you, I am now in my 40s and we are the best of friends, I respect her so much for being strong for us all.
Best wishes xx

Fairenuff, you must be a mind reader. I called him, told him I didn't think meeting was necessary to discuss the girls. He said he didn't want to discuss them. He wants to meet to talk about us. I told him there is no us anymore. God. He's draining me.

Just want to say, again, you're amazing.

I didn't leave in the past with an ex. It gave him carte blanche to do it over and over, because if you don't leave the first time you find it far harder to leave with self esteem in shreds. I'd now leave my DH at once if he did what yours has. I'd have to. But it would be so very hard - I admire you so much for finding the strength (and yes, as someone who once lacked it, and carried on lacking it, I DO think it's strength). Your girls are so lucky to have a mother set them this kind of example, and teach them that women are worth respect. It's not a lesson my mother taught me, I'm afraid. It's one I had to learn the very hard way.

LOVE LOVE LOVE the name change, even if this thread fills up please start a new one if you feel you need the support. If you don't this is equally fabulous.

You'reAwesomeTiggaxx

Lnm you are setting a great example for your girls. They will see how strong their mum is and follow by example.

You deserve so much better.

Take care xx

Got to admire the thick skin. Has he thought of cold calling as a career?

I don't think he's getting it is he?

Like other posters, I'm in complete awe of your strength and dignity.

Please don't be afraid to ask for help, however, whatever route you decide to take.

Thinking of you. Xx

Thank you. Your messages are lovely. I think I'll need to start another thread, I'd be lost without you lot

Fluffy, I despair of him. I don't know what I need to do to get it through to him.

If you do start a new thread we will all be there to support you and you x

His arrogance won't allow him to believe it. Time and staying strong are the only things that will get through to him that you mean it. You are amazing, I know it's been said a lot but really you are.

Kinky LNM

Hmmmm that's supposed to linky! Bit early in your breakup for kinky stuff. Give it time

Send him an email just documenting that exchange. "Further to our conversation, to confirm that you do not wish to discuss the children. However, they have the right to maintain a relationship with their father so I suggest that you see pick them up from school on Friday every other w/e until Sunday at 1pm" or whatever works for you.

Hi LNM, one of your fans dropping by to add my 2pence worth.

when does he want to discuss his daughters then? tosser!
consider adding on the email that if he doesn't want to pursue a relationship with his daughters that you would like it in writing, and still have to agree on maintenance either way.

You are bloody brilliant.

Oh I wish I could get back all the pointless hours of my life I wasted listening to my EH call or chat to me about the kids, the house, etc and turn it into a discussion about 'us' and me repeating myself over and over again, being drained by the self pity of it all.

I'm with the others, some day you might be civil enough to hammer out what happened but right now, you call the shots, email or text him about the kids and give yourself space and time. For tramp bouncing

Great new name, I'll be watching for your new thread

OP

Just read through the whole thread.

Damn, woman!!!

I admire you so much.... you are being such a great mother
I think you have been inspiring, you truly have.

Wtf? Ggggrrrrr he is such a tool!

On Wednesday I suggest contacting four or five of the best solicitors in your area to discuss your options, as once you have discussed with them mrloserloser can't enlist their services
Does he really think that there needs to be a discussion? Or is this his ploy to "do what it takes" & "fight for you" a week after getting his rocks off and basically being a toad.
I'd be getting him to fook hunny and btw lovin the name change!

Omg missed your last update re him wanting to talk about you. You need distance from him. :(

The End

Not really, there's another thread.

I know cabbage, wtf indeed!

Thanks everyone