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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

This doesn't look good does it?

999 replies

Loserville · 02/04/2013 19:37

My dh left for work at 5pm, 10 mins later I get a text from him 'Hi sexy, get your boobs out'. I just replied with a ? And had no reply.

He never sends text like that to me thank god so I'm thinking it was meant for someone else. Why send me a text like that after just leaving the house 10 minutes before.

It looks suspicious doesn't it? Or else it's a pathetic attempt at spicing things up Confused

OP posts:
digerd · 02/04/2013 20:12

ps
when you got the text.

Coconutty · 02/04/2013 20:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Lavenderhoney · 02/04/2013 20:13

What work does he do? Could he be texting someone as a joke he works with?

If he hasn't sent you the text ( workmate whilst driving or someone else they collected grabbed the wrong phone or another tenuous excuse) then he would have received one saying ? From you which he has ignored either because he hasn't noticed or he thinks it can wait til later as he doesn't have a clue what you mean.

Well, I suppose you will be able to look at his phone when he gets back unless he has deleted all the evidence. Look at any names above and below yours, plus some bills are itimised. Have a look at any SMS logged ones when he is working?

I got something like this once and it was pathetic watching my then bf trying to wiggle out of it. I am not the sharpest pixie in the forest but even I knew he was shining me on. Hope it's nothing though.

CostaTen · 02/04/2013 20:16

I think it's the fact that he hasn't texted or phoned with an explanation after you replied that makes it sound more suspicious.

tungthai · 02/04/2013 20:26

When I worked in a male environment the females were subjected to these type of comments all the time, it was hideous.

My bil indulges in sexist banter on fb telling his female colleagues to make sure they bake cakes and wear a low cut top when they are working his shift.

I think your dh is probably a sexist pig, I don't necessarily think he is cheating.

TheOrchardKeeper · 02/04/2013 20:48

feel free to come and chat about what happens later OP.
I hope it goes ok & he has a bloody good reason for ignoring your follow up text (that wasn't because he shat himself & spent the next few hours panicking) Brew

Fairenuff · 02/04/2013 20:55

You don't seem overly bothered op, has this happened before?

If it were me, I would be on the phone speaking to him as soon as possible.

maleview70 · 02/04/2013 20:58

He might not have replied as it might not be him who sent it and therefore he doesn't even know you have read it and replied. His phone may be off or in the van.

If it was me having a bit on the side and I sent this to my wife by mistake and then realised, I would have thought of an excuse and replied straight away.

It is also possible he was texting a mate. Men are stupid when it comes to work pranks etc. It's the sort of thing a mate of mine would send.

TheOrchardKeeper · 02/04/2013 21:01

to be honest I'd have called him when he ignored it, to check that it was just something stupid so I didn't start wondering about it...

Original poster
Loserville · 02/04/2013 21:16

Fairenuff, I am bothered but just not trying to get myself worked up. Nothing like this has happened before, been married for 10 years, 3 children. No problems or issues that I'm aware of.

OP posts:
TheOrchardKeeper · 02/04/2013 21:20

Isn't he meant to be home by now OP?

Have you tried ringing?

MrsSpagBol · 02/04/2013 21:21

OP is he home yet. Flowers

TheOrchardKeeper · 02/04/2013 21:23

It's not looking any better if he's late home too.

Hope you're alright OP Brew

Ahhhcrap · 02/04/2013 21:25

No it doesn't look good.. Especially because he hasn't responded....

Maybe his mates have nicked his phone, or it could be something below the belt.

Coconutty · 02/04/2013 21:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheOrchardKeeper · 02/04/2013 21:36

Hope you're having a chat & are getting a decent honest answer Thanks

Original poster
Loserville · 02/04/2013 21:39

He was due to finish at 9pm, 20 minute drive home so he's late. Tried calling but phone unavailable. The phone signal for Vodafone is shitty here at times so won't jump to conclusions just yet. Sometimes he works over the time he's meant to finish.

OP posts:
TheOrchardKeeper · 02/04/2013 21:41

Ok, well I hope you're not stweing too bad & are just keeping calm til you hear what he's got to say. You'll probably be able to tell if you've been together that long to be honest so I hope it is just a misunderstanding.

OhLori · 02/04/2013 21:42

Its just got to be a practical joke OP.

Still :-( for you waiting to find out.

ohtobecleo · 02/04/2013 21:49

On the plus side....if the phone reception is shitty he may not have been able to reply to your ? (or he may not even have got it?)

Clutching at straws for you OP.

Verbalpunchbag · 02/04/2013 22:03

I've known lads take each others phones and put stupid things on each others fb, never a text though.

specialsubject · 02/04/2013 22:10

he forgot his phone, some 'joker' grabbed it and sent the text, then turned it off. Hence you haven't had a reply.

or he left the phone unattended and your response isn't there yet - texts can take 24 hours, happens to me a lot. or he didn't hear it.

at least I hope so. But the fact you have jumped straight on MN to post this indicates all is not well.

VitoCorleone · 02/04/2013 22:10

Hope you get to the bottom of it

tillyann2013 · 02/04/2013 22:13

I totally agree with you special, the thought wouldn't cross my mind!

Machli · 02/04/2013 22:14

My ex sent me a message for someone else by accident, I replied exactly as you did with a '?'. He didn't reply either. Too scared too. Spent hours thinking up some pathetic flimsy excuse. Your OP is ringing a lot of bells for me OP.