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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

This doesn't look good does it?

999 replies

Loserville · 02/04/2013 19:37

My dh left for work at 5pm, 10 mins later I get a text from him 'Hi sexy, get your boobs out'. I just replied with a ? And had no reply.

He never sends text like that to me thank god so I'm thinking it was meant for someone else. Why send me a text like that after just leaving the house 10 minutes before.

It looks suspicious doesn't it? Or else it's a pathetic attempt at spicing things up

OP posts:

Report

Machli · 02/04/2013 22:15

To not too

Kione · 02/04/2013 22:29

Maybe they do that to each other as jokes? my DP did that on my facebook, well pretending it was me. it was rude but quite funny. I have seen it dont on others. That would explain the ni answer. If ir wasnt for you I think he would have jumped wirh an explanation straight away! or maybe I am naïve.

Kione · 02/04/2013 22:30

sorry the typos, touch phone

kinkyfuckery · 02/04/2013 22:33

Hope everything is ok OP.

ImperialBlether · 02/04/2013 22:36

Do men really do that on other men's phones? Really? Normal men?

Kione · 02/04/2013 22:38

Maybe not normal, childish ones yeah. I honestly had it once. We where all in a pub and kniw for deffinite it was his mate...

Kione · 02/04/2013 22:39

But we where in a pub. Drinking. Not on our way to work...

verytellytubby · 02/04/2013 22:45

Hope you are ok.

Loserville · 02/04/2013 23:10

Well he's still not home. Got a text saying he has had a call out which will take about 3 hours. I don't know what to think. The nature of his job makes this believable and any other time i'd go to bed without a second thought but my mind is in overdrive. After he text I tried to call but it's just going to voicemail.

OP posts:

BunnyLebowski · 02/04/2013 23:13

and for you loserville

I'm the least hysterical, drama-llama, LTB poster you'll meet and this reeks to high heaven even to me.

To leave you hanging with no response just smacks of him hiding somewhere trying to get his story straight.

Feck.

TheOrchardKeeper · 02/04/2013 23:16

Oh shit...

If I were you I'd gather any VIDs (very important documents) and put them somewhere else for safe keeping then try and get as much rest as possible, as you may find you'll need it.

He didn't reply AND he now won't tale your call. I'm sorry you're being left to hang like this

TheOrchardKeeper · 02/04/2013 23:16

*take

oops

Fairenuff · 02/04/2013 23:18

Ah shit.

That's not good at all.

Don't know what your relationship is like but if I received that text I would have bombarded dh with calls and texts until he replied.

It would be so out of character for him not to be in touch. Even if it is just mates messing around, he would still answer my calls.

Fairenuff · 02/04/2013 23:19

It's funny how you can receive a text but he can't

TheOrchardKeeper · 02/04/2013 23:21

Oh hell no, his behaviour means he damn well got the questioning text

Unless it's standard for him to work super late, when he has kids & be unavailable by phone in case of emergencies...

TheCraicDealer · 02/04/2013 23:22

God love you OP. Wouldn't be surprised if he's with the person he meant to send that text to deciding what his next course of action is.

I'd be tempted (although whether I'd have the nous to do it or not..) to just nod and go, "ok, yeah. What do you want for your tea?" when he uses whatever crap excuse he's prepared. Then he'll let his guard down, because clearly he's an idiot and thinks he's got away with it. This gives you more time to decide what you want to do, and to gather more evidence if separation is the way it's going. Give him enough rope to hang himself.

If it were me I'd have tried to bluff it out by going, "yeah love, it's been ages, can't wait to see you later when the kids are in bed" or something equally "romantic". So be prepared for that shit!

Loserville · 02/04/2013 23:24

Normally I'd call and text until he answered but the kids have been playing up tonight. I text him telling him to call me straight away but nothing yet. As the minutes past with no contact it makes me think he's up to no good.

OP posts:

QOD · 02/04/2013 23:28

Bugger
Doesn't sound good

You ok?

TheOrchardKeeper · 02/04/2013 23:28

he knows what you want him to call about, that's (probably) why.

I'd just keep my game face on until I'd uncovered enough of what was going on to make a move. It may not be as awful as all that but it certainly looks dodgy from the outside & it wouldn't hurt to get all your paperwork in order in case he has the same idea. Horribly way to think but it pays to be careful, worst thing that could happen is it's all some keraaaazy misunderstanding & he'll never know you 'prepared' for that situation.

Hope you're ok. My stomach would be doing knots & I'd want to lock the bloody door

TheOrchardKeeper · 02/04/2013 23:29

*horrible

Loserville · 02/04/2013 23:32

I'm ok thanks,thinking about having to get up at 6am, take kids to childminder and do an 8 hour shift. I'm just getting more angry at him not replying. It's so selfish regardless of what he is up to.

OP posts:

tightfortime · 02/04/2013 23:35

Your gut's screaming at you, isn't it?

Why didn't he clear this up straight away if it was a genuine piss take by a mate or whatever. He's buying time.

Be interesting to see what excuse he crawls home with but I'd do as others say, get prepared, stay mad but calm.

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1985Caz · 02/04/2013 23:37

Poor you OP, this does seem bad.

TheOrchardKeeper · 02/04/2013 23:38

Prepare a surprise party for when he returns later? [buwink]

Sorry. Couldn't help myself!!!

Loserville · 02/04/2013 23:39

Yeah my gut is telling me what I don't want to hear. Prepare for the worst is the best way at this moment. I keep thinking what reason would I be happy with? If he says his mate text as a joke, would I believe him. I need to see his reaction , I'll know straight away if he's lying I think.

OP posts:

Flip

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