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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

This doesn't look good does it?

999 replies

Loserville · 02/04/2013 19:37

My dh left for work at 5pm, 10 mins later I get a text from him 'Hi sexy, get your boobs out'. I just replied with a ? And had no reply.

He never sends text like that to me thank god so I'm thinking it was meant for someone else. Why send me a text like that after just leaving the house 10 minutes before.

It looks suspicious doesn't it? Or else it's a pathetic attempt at spicing things up Confused

OP posts:
TheOrchardKeeper · 02/04/2013 23:39

(And no wonder you're angry. It's a selfish way to behave at the best of times. If he has done anything he could at least show a little respect) Wine

TheOrchardKeeper · 02/04/2013 23:41

^ totally agree.

You'll know when he looks you in the eye or can't whether its the truth & I would have a gut feeling that he's putting that off because it's very hard to lie convincingly in that situation.

CookieB · 02/04/2013 23:45

What grown men send a msg like this as joke?. My dp sends me texts like this all the time on the way home which are reciprocated because after 11 yrs & 2 dc later we have still got a great sex life. There is nothing funny about this at all. I'd think the worst but that's just my opinion. Hoping it is a joke in bad taste for you op.

NorksAreMessy · 02/04/2013 23:54
Shock
Ilovemydogandmydoglovesme · 02/04/2013 23:55

Even if it is just a joke are you going to believe him? Sounds like your mind is made up. It might be an honest mistake you know. I'm really hoping it is. But now you've sat and stewed for a few hours you're probably not ready to listen. Don't kill him just yet, you don't know what is going on. At least see what he has to say and then decide if you believe him. Good luck.

Cuddlydragon · 03/04/2013 00:02

Good luck, I really hope you get an acceptable explanation.

Original poster
Loserville · 03/04/2013 00:07

Well I've gathered all important documents just incase. Can't believe I'm doing this but worst case scenario and all that. His phone is just ringing out now.

OP posts:
Original poster
Loserville · 03/04/2013 00:08

Meant to say, thanks for all advice/opinions. Been a good help.

OP posts:
LittleEdie · 03/04/2013 00:09

So, if he was at work does that mean he was asking someone to send him pics maybe? So might not be a 'full' affair. Or maybe it was a joke to a friend? Surely he would have texted to explain if it was innocent though.

StuntGirl · 03/04/2013 00:13

Impressed at how organised and calm you're being loserville. Hope for the best, prepare for the worst and all that.

I think it sounds like he's hoping you'll be asleep in bed by the time he comes home, so if he can just ignore you and avoid you 'til tomorrow you'll forget about it. Deluded fool.

MrsSpagBol · 03/04/2013 00:45

"I think it sounds like he's hoping you'll be asleep in bed by the time he comes home, so if he can just ignore you and avoid you 'til tomorrow you'll forget about it. Deluded fool."

have to say I agree with this. What does he think the point of staying out late and not communicating with you is?

I did wonder earlier, why, if you sent such a text (mistake or not) you wouldn't rush to clear it up as soon as possible. If it was my DH I'd expect him to rush home and clear it all up asap. I appreciate that maybe he can't just leave work. But to not ring you is just very very very rude and smacks of guilt/trying to figure out what to say.

Even if it was a joke, why not just ring you? Surely he can see how that text would be construed and that joke or not he needs to reassure you.

I am really upset on your behalf.

Hope you manage to rest tonight.

Isabeller · 03/04/2013 00:51

Been lurking and wishing for things to turn out better than so far looks likely, hope this thread helps give you the strength you need to deal with whatever comes next. x Is

Chaoscarriesonagain · 03/04/2013 07:16

Hope it all works out for you OP

HootShoot · 03/04/2013 07:23

Did he contact you at all last night before he got home? I hope he had a good explanation for you.

HootShoot · 03/04/2013 07:24

Did he contact you at all last night before he got home? I hope he had a good explanation for you.

chubbymomie2012 · 03/04/2013 07:30

Oh gosh, this sounds suspicious indeed. i am the queen of wishful thinking and tend to give everyone the benefit of the doubt but id be worried+++ if i were you. Did he come home? whatbdid he say?

saffronwblue · 03/04/2013 07:39

Good luck, OP.

Kione · 03/04/2013 07:43

I really hope everything turns out ok, but doesnt look good Sad

toffeelolly · 03/04/2013 07:43

How did it go?

Notsoblonde · 03/04/2013 07:49

Good luck op, hope he is home and you have had a good explanation for all of this.

fiddlemethis · 03/04/2013 07:59

Hope you are ok OP, how many children do you have?

fedupofnamechanging · 03/04/2013 07:59

If I were you, I'd be going through the history on the computer and if you know the passwords log into his fb and Skype and see what you discover.

AThingInYourLife · 03/04/2013 08:01

Hope everything is OK this morn

Branleuse · 03/04/2013 08:09

In all honesty, id send a message back telling him he was dumped.

If it was a saucy message meant for you, he wouldnt have ignored you afterwards and would have kept it going.
It was a clumsy flirty message meant for a female colleague, or an affair.
The fact hes also going to be "working" an extra 3 hours without any explanation to you, is bullshit. He hasnt even got enough respect to come home and grovel or make an attempt at an excuse.

GirlWiththeLionHeart · 03/04/2013 08:16

Sounds like he fucked up and is now burying his head.

Of course his friend didnt send it Confused

Op, your dh is obviously flirting with someone else.

I hope you grilled him