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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Is this too creepy to tolerate? [WARNING: extreme subject matter]

447 replies

Halfway · 29/10/2012 08:39

I'm posting on behalf of my best friend (for real, she is sat beside me but is not familiar with Mumsnet).

She has recently begun dating a new guy (for a couple months), whom she has known for over ten years as a friend, albeit mostly long distance as he works and lives long periods abroad. He is also Chinese (only relevant because I am genuinely unsure as to whether there are any cultural differences that might make his confession less bizarre than it sounds to me).

He has confessed to her that his ultimate fantasy about intimacy involves eating someone (albeit only ever with their consent).

He says he has never actually eaten part of anyone, but fantasizes about finding someone who would consent to giving him small pieces of flesh (that would not overly harm the person), that he could cook and perhaps even share with them.

Now, she tells me all this in a very relaxed (almost flippant) way, and I can't help but sit here and inwardly think !!!!!!!!!!!!!!.

She tells me that in her opinion it is no worse than people who fantasize about whipping/strangling each other, and that although it is freaky, the important thing is that he has no wish to do anything without someone else's wholehearted participation.

So now I am uncertain as to whether I really am being a bit intolerant (and judgemental), or if there is something about this particular fantasy that is just too dangerous (and creepy) to tolerate.

Mumsnet jury opinions needed! Many thanks.

OP posts:
Growlithe · 29/10/2012 22:08

If he could pay for a good plastic surgeon I've got enough spare flesh to keep him going for months [hgrin]

GroupieGirl · 29/10/2012 22:29

I am utterly amazed that I read this far without the thread disappearing. Utterly.

LadyEvilBeagle · 29/10/2012 22:38

Nah Groupie, cannabalism is a perfectly normal and chatty subject on MN.
Why should it be deleted?
I'm hungry BTW, I fancy a bit of Stratters.
I fancy a leg.
Sort it Op.

InSPsFanjoNoOneHearsYouScream · 29/10/2012 22:41

Any one been to that cannibal buffet? It's buy one limb get muscle free apparently now.

Jesus wtf is this thread Grin

Viviennemary · 29/10/2012 22:46

She should phone the police before he harms anybody.

WorraLiberty · 29/10/2012 22:47

I told my Doc I ate something that disagreed with me

And a little voice from inside me said, "No you didn't!" Grin

GroupieGirl · 29/10/2012 22:48

Lady is Stratters known for her tasty legs? Grin

rainbowinthesky · 29/10/2012 22:49

You'd have to be carefully serving up the Sunday roast - do you want a breast or leg?.......

garlicbaguette · 29/10/2012 22:50

Good joke, Worra [hgrin]

OP, I'm so relieved your thread has helped you put both feet on the safe side of a very important boundary. I'm wishing the same for your friend, but think you should give the police whatever information they need to help her be safe.

GroupieGirl · 29/10/2012 22:51

Depends who's carving.

PumpkInDublic · 29/10/2012 22:56

"kungfupannda Mon 29-Oct-12 21:13:14
OP. Please don't send any more private messages offering to disclose personal information."

Also can anyone receiving PM's please remember it's a lot easier to give more than you should emotionally when it feels 1 on 1 than when details are given on a thread with the benefit of balanced opinions from other posters.

ScarahStratton · 29/10/2012 22:59

[hconfused]

'I'm tasty, tasty, very very tasty'...

lucyellenmum · 29/10/2012 23:01

He is welcome to a slather of my thights, some of the fat from my stomach and maybe a bit of buttock, thats all though Confused

Is his name hannibal?

LadyEvilBeagle · 29/10/2012 23:04

Oi Stratters,, I'm sitting here with my knife and fork.
I chose your leg out of everybody elses.
It's a compliment, you huffy cow.

ninah · 29/10/2012 23:05

where's posie with her superb arse steaks?

ThatVikRinA22 · 29/10/2012 23:13

gosh.
ok. Op i would just like to say that i actually do believe you. whatever that makes me. i do believe you and im sorry that this thread and the reactions to it have hurt you.

you just havent judged how skewed the thinking behind it was - thats not your fault if you have had those experiences that you have outlined before. You dont have to justify your self though - forget it and dont let this thread, the reactions to it, hurt you. shrug and know that those who dont believe have that perogative, its up to them. thats fine.

At least you have learnt that your friends thinking is not normal, and in that you can warn her. after that - the ball is in her court.

that you sought advice is a good thing imo.
if this thread is hurting then hide it.

and tell your friend to ditch the BF. YANBU. its too creepy to ignore. your instincts are working just fine so thats a good thing - whatever happened to you during your upbringing at least you know that you can trust your instincts and i think thats something to hang on to - so many abuse victims cant.

now.
press hide.

EmpressOfTheSevenScreams · 29/10/2012 23:17

I'd agree with hiding the thread, Halfway. Hopefully the advice you've had is enough.

InSPsFanjoNoOneHearsYouScream · 29/10/2012 23:17

I'm under 5 foot so I know I'm safe from cannibals. I wouldn't be big enough for a starter

ThatVikRinA22 · 29/10/2012 23:22

my trolldar is pretty good. its not beeping at this thread. all i can sense on this is someone who is bearing all in fairly gloriously painful technicolour.

ScarahStratton · 29/10/2012 23:24

I'm giving you the thrill of the chase LBE. Don't you approve of hunting?

EmpressOfTheSevenScreams · 29/10/2012 23:28

I can understand why people are having fun on this thread but it's not fair. Some OPs give as good as they get but this OP isn't one of them.

Preferthedogtothekids · 29/10/2012 23:38

Run, don't wok.

aufaniae · 29/10/2012 23:48

The behaviour on this thread is truly disgusting. The troll hunters are bullies, plain and simple.

Neither mumsnet nor IIRC a police officer on this thread (forgive me if i've remembered that wrong?) think the OP is a troll, so why don't you back off now?

The OP has asked you to stop. How long are you going to continue kicking her?

Shameful.

doyouwantfrieswiththat · 29/10/2012 23:59

what's normal?

MrsMuddyPuddles · 30/10/2012 00:01

"and almost wants my support in keeping an eye on her so she can explore it."

OP, as a natural extention to the MN guidelines... if you can't, you can't. Tell her that you can't offer her this, and see if that changes things.