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Is this too creepy to tolerate? [WARNING: extreme subject matter]

447 replies

Halfway · 29/10/2012 08:39

I'm posting on behalf of my best friend (for real, she is sat beside me but is not familiar with Mumsnet).

She has recently begun dating a new guy (for a couple months), whom she has known for over ten years as a friend, albeit mostly long distance as he works and lives long periods abroad. He is also Chinese (only relevant because I am genuinely unsure as to whether there are any cultural differences that might make his confession less bizarre than it sounds to me).

He has confessed to her that his ultimate fantasy about intimacy involves eating someone (albeit only ever with their consent).

He says he has never actually eaten part of anyone, but fantasizes about finding someone who would consent to giving him small pieces of flesh (that would not overly harm the person), that he could cook and perhaps even share with them.

Now, she tells me all this in a very relaxed (almost flippant) way, and I can't help but sit here and inwardly think !!!!!!!!!!!!!!.

She tells me that in her opinion it is no worse than people who fantasize about whipping/strangling each other, and that although it is freaky, the important thing is that he has no wish to do anything without someone else's wholehearted participation.

So now I am uncertain as to whether I really am being a bit intolerant (and judgemental), or if there is something about this particular fantasy that is just too dangerous (and creepy) to tolerate.

Mumsnet jury opinions needed! Many thanks.

OP posts:
Theas18 · 29/10/2012 08:50

"multiple short term failed relationships" I bet!!

Halfway · 29/10/2012 08:50

And just to clarify, he says he only fantasizes about eating the whole person but recognises that as far too much to ever actually indulge, but would rather satisfy the fantasy a little bit by using tiny pieces (and only if he could find someone to agree).

I don't know what this might actually practically entail, because the whole concept is genuinely too much for me (I would consider it a dealbreaker), but am uncertain whether this means it should be too much for her if she is willing to consider it, and don't know how much I can go along with the idea.

OP posts:
SugariceAndScary · 29/10/2012 08:50

He is a Loon! [hshock]

RyleDup · 29/10/2012 08:50

Does your friend not think his desires are a little strange?
What part of her body is he thinking of cutting off, that won't cause much harm?
Each to their own but I would run a mile. I wouldn't even be spending a moment considering anything else.
I would advise your friend to do the same.

Phacelia · 29/10/2012 08:51

Definitely creepy.

I can also imagine that if she gives consent for him to say, eat her earlobes, or a tiny chunk out of her arm, he's going to get a taste for it isn't he? These things escalate. Next thing you know it'll be 'just a finger darling,' or 'your knees look scrummy' and before you know it she'll be dead and he'll be parboiling her chopped up pieces in some larges saucepans.

No, no, no.

thornrose · 29/10/2012 08:51

"He says he has never actually eaten part of anyone" that sentence alone just sends shivers down my spine.

juedanlil · 29/10/2012 08:51

O my god ! To weird x

ZiggyPlayedGuitar · 29/10/2012 08:51

So is she next to you now reading this or not? You said she was at first but now you sound like she's not.

RyleDup · 29/10/2012 08:52

Actually I'd probably ring the police too.

BalloonSlayer · 29/10/2012 08:52

"he has had multiple short-term failed relationships (which he puts down to his regular travelling)."

that translates as

"he has had multiple short-term failed relationships which all failed at the point at which he mentioned he wanted to cook his partner and fucking well eat them."

Marzipanface · 29/10/2012 08:53

Too weird.

End this relationship.

susiedaisy · 29/10/2012 08:53

I think op if she went along with it and then died you'd be in a whole heap of trouble as well for standing back and knowing it was happening!
Sorry don't mean to be nasty but god I couldn't live my life knowing that a friend of mine was being cut up!

thornrose · 29/10/2012 08:54

What does your friend think of the replies so far?

susiedaisy · 29/10/2012 08:54

How long before he gets tired of asking different women politely and just grabs one and does it anyway!

Binkyridesagain · 29/10/2012 08:55

Tell her to read Ritual by Graham Masterton and then see if its just 'kinky'

FryOneGhoulishGhostlyManic · 29/10/2012 08:55

Balloonslayer said exactly what I wanted to say. Totally agree, get rid and call Police non-emergency number for advice.

MadameCastafiore · 29/10/2012 08:56

Blimey, maybe the short term relationships were down to yummy scrummy rather than travel.

I think that he would tell her this fantasy stinks of him having picked her out as someone who wouldn't immediately run screaming and that is worrying!

Seriously this is so not normal and I hope she not weak and happy to go along with stuff just to please a man!

thornrose · 29/10/2012 08:56

God I was about to cook sausages for breakfast. I've gone right off the idea now.

AKissIsNotAContract · 29/10/2012 08:57

Look up the Spanner trial - consent is not a defence to ABH, for both him and her.

Jsa1980 · 29/10/2012 08:57

Ritual is just plain wrong but it does show how out of hand (no pun intended) things can get.

susiedaisy · 29/10/2012 08:58

Yep I'm feeling rather nauseous myself now!

SummerRain · 29/10/2012 08:58

Run.

Remember that case a couple of years back where a guy put an ad online asking for volunteers to be cannabalised.... And got that suicidal lad to do it.

That could be construed as 'wholehearted participation' but the lad still ended up dead, dismembered and cannabalised

Halfway · 29/10/2012 09:00

She's next to me (holding and entertaining my baby), and although she glimpses over my shoulder from time to time, she's basically relying on me to tell her whats going on.

She's aware that I find the whole thing too disturbing and creepy, but she has a way of expressing it thats making me doubt my position, especially as she does not seem all that phased by it (even a little curious).

I've just asked her what she thinks she could actually cut off without seriously hurting herself, and she says clipping around the edges of her fingernails as an example.

I've also told her that so far everyone is definitely agreeing it is too much. She says she doesn't see why as long as it didn't escalate too far, and she feels confident she wouldn't allow it to.

I don't know. It all does sound very surreal to me, and I can only promise you that it is genuine, and I feel on the verge of having to completely back out of supporting her in anything to do with this (she knows this), but was willing to have my mind changed if people really are tolerating this kind of freaky stuff nowadays (but it seems my opinion is more the majority one).

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 29/10/2012 09:00

He's psychotic. She needs to get him out of her life immediately.

tethersend · 29/10/2012 09:00

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