Is this too creepy to tolerate? [WARNING: extreme subject matter]

[Halfway]

I'm posting on behalf of my best friend (for real, she is sat beside me but is not familiar with Mumsnet).

She has recently begun dating a new guy (for a couple months), whom she has known for over ten years as a friend, albeit mostly long distance as he works and lives long periods abroad. He is also Chinese (only relevant because I am genuinely unsure as to whether there are any cultural differences that might make his confession less bizarre than it sounds to me).

He has confessed to her that his ultimate fantasy about intimacy involves eating someone (albeit only ever with their consent).

He says he has never actually eaten part of anyone, but fantasizes about finding someone who would consent to giving him small pieces of flesh (that would not overly harm the person), that he could cook and perhaps even share with them.

Now, she tells me all this in a very relaxed (almost flippant) way, and I can't help but sit here and inwardly think !!!!!!!!!!!!!!.

She tells me that in her opinion it is no worse than people who fantasize about whipping/strangling each other, and that although it is freaky, the important thing is that he has no wish to do anything without someone else's wholehearted participation.

So now I am uncertain as to whether I really am being a bit intolerant (and judgemental), or if there is something about this particular fantasy that is just too dangerous (and creepy) to tolerate.

Mumsnet jury opinions needed! Many thanks.

I presume this thread is true seeing as Mumsnet kept it going after the suspension earlier.

It is however the most disturbing thing I've seen on here since the thread where the boyfriend always wore black, ate raw meat and jumped out at the OP with a hammer and kept weapons on his wall, thankfully that was a dud thread. [i think ]

OP, I hope you and friend sort out your feelings but run like the fucking wind otherwise, this will not end well at all.

I'm going to make one post here, and then I'm going to leave it, because I refuse to keep letting myself get drawn into this.

I'm posting because what you do when you make fun of people like me has a very real effect (I know because I'm feeling it right now), and it also has a knock-on effect in that people like me feel they have nowhere to turn where they won't be laughed at (other than equally messed up people).

I don't have a 'normal' thinking mind.

I don't have a normal thinking mind because I was abused from a very young age by a man who both beat me and told me he loved me.

He loved me so much that he crawled into bed with me at night and made me feel disgusting about myself and hurt me, and then told me I shouldn't have done that.

I had nowhere to turn then, and so I began turning to anything I could that would numb the pain, which included stealing his alcohol in the beginning, and accepting drugs from other people when I got older.

This led to me becoming addicted to drugs (anything I could get my hands on, but ultimately, and then mostly heroin), and doing all manner of disgusting and deviant things to get what I needed to feed my habit. If you want an example of what is real in the world, and what I was actively involved in, google scat, google bdsm, and sadomasochism. I was involved in all of those things from an early age (starting from puberty).

I was humiliated, and beaten, and mind-fucked until I very nearly lost my mind and any semblance of sanity or grounding. I came to believe that I was evil, that the world was evil, that everyone was out to hurt me, that I was being punished by God, and all manner of horrible things, because I couldn't make sense of my life and what was happening to me.

Eventually I made my way out (over 20 years now).

I began to realise that not everyone in the world was as messed up as the people I had known and associated with my whole life.

I began to cling onto these people like the life-preservers that they were.

I went to the GP. I got put on a program. I got put on anti-depressants. I got referred to counselling. Life started to get brighter, I got a job, I signed up for an NVQ course (because I had no school qualifications), and from there was able to get a diploma, and then a degree. And then a better job.

I began to reach out and try and make some better friends, because I was still surrounded by people who thought in messed up ways and were trying to drag me back down into their way of thinking.

I made some better friends, and kept some old ones (whom I loved too much to abandon).

I learned to ask for help when I felt like I was drowning, and to seek out good, healthy, kind people... even though they often found/find me abhorrent because I am not like them.

I forget to reveal this sort of thing about myself before I post, because occasionally I forget that I am not a very 'normal' person, and I forget that 'normal' people simply won't know what to make of me.

I'm here to tell you that it hurts to be reminded of that.

It hurts to look for help and be laughed at as ridiculous. It hurts because it makes me feel all over again like I am flawed intrinsically somehow, and can never fit in with you cool 'normal' folks.

If you really can't believe me, then fair enough, but please do not throw it in my face.

Please do not do that because it makes me afraid to approach people like you, and places like Mumsnet because of the judgement and mocking I will have to face.

Not just me, but people like me.

My plea is real, and I am powerless to make you do anything. It is up to you whether you choose to hear or not, but I am begging you to.

I think it's more that MNHQ can't prove it isn't, Sugar.

Halfway - my brain is bleeding from this thread, it is very painful reading for a "normal" person such as myself. I never even knew that sexual cannibalism even existed until I saw that link from the poster upthread. I consider myself reasonably open minded, but if he is engaging in sexual cannibal practices, which is verging on the borderline of criminal acts, necrophilia and murder, your friend would be wise to stay away, and fight the attraction of something so unehalthy and deviant. Even self pronounced misfits with a tendency towards harm and self harm should see the red flags and put up clear boundaries, ie, say NO and move on.

"It is however the most disturbing thing I've seen on here since the thread where the boyfriend always wore black, ate raw meat and jumped out at the OP with a hammer and kept weapons on his wall, thankfully that was a dud thread."

I knew this reminded me of something.

All about the manipulation isn't it. No opinions allowed any more, apparently. [hhmm]

This thread is most odd.

OP - a bit of advice. It's not a good idea to post on an internet forum if you are particularly sensitive especially when you are posting about someone wanting to eat someone.

This thread had set off my anxiety

• has

It's just so strange it's made me feel quite odd.

To be honest, I'm creeped out at the fact someone's shared it on Facebook!

Thanks WTP. Going to hide it now. I'm not joking unfortunately!

I posted the link up thread to the psychological information. There are people out there that do this, or think about doing it. Is it a recognised condition. If you don't believe the OP report. The same way I am reporting the troll hunting.

Whether this man really means this, whether he has mental health issues, whether he is a psychopath, whether he is just an attention seeker trying to be "different" he will not be on his own. There will be others, the huge majority who are men, who will share his feeling.

OP please stop justifying yourself and explain using your past problems. People will believe you or not. If they don't who cares? Plenty on here do believe you.

Someones shared it on facebook? What does that mean though? I've not got facebook so I don't know what the implications of sharing things are.

I thought it was this years MN halloween story TBH.

I think its true. Like I said earlier on the thread there are loads of websites devoted to vorephilia and guro so there must be people using these sites or they wouldn't exist. Those people must leave the house at some point! So to me it is plausable.

Is this the first time ever that someone has told MNHQ to get a grip?
Cos' that's me that is