men who got to prostitutes

[jake42]

Hello .
ive been reading all the threads on here about guys who visit escorts/ prostitutes/ whores etc , and i know im probably going to be called all sorts of names as its mainly a womans site, but i thought id write and tell my tale.

42 year old male , married for some 15 years, adore my wife and child and my family life . i want to get old with her .
just after our marriage one evening after sex ,whilst cuddling in bed , she says ive been thinking, we dont have to do sex, we love each other , lets live together like a brother and sister ! WTF im thinking, whats bought this on, nothing i could say or do would change her mind, we had sex very infrequently after , mainly to try for a baby. once said baby was born , she obviously was tired most of the time and eventually moved into the spare room blaming tiredness and my snoring (i do snore, but not that bad) . that was around 10 years ago and is still there now. We may of had sex 6 or 7 times since, im never allowed the pleasure of oral sex either way ,sex is always at my request, but always with the feeling that she just wants me to come and finish.
i adore her and cant imagine life without her, but the thought of no sex or hardly any doesnt appeal to me at all.
so after being knocked back one time too many i visited a site where Escort girls advertised and agreed to meet one .
i have been discreetly seeing different ones for around 5 years, always take every precaution and making sure my wife does not catch anything.
im basically between a rock and a hard place, i need to have sex , my wife doesnt, we love each other , i dont want to leave her , she , i assume doesnt want us to split up . but i cant imagine life for another 30 yrs with out sexual contact. i kind of figure that paying for it off a prostitute is better than having an affair, which as i love my wife would be out of the question.
i would be glad if anyone out there could perhaps in someway give me some advice . oh and im not a woman hater , i adore female company more than male .

Abitwobblynow: you are a star. that sounds like good advice. i dont want to visit whores, just want "the one" to more sex interested.

No abitwobbly, the ops wife doesn't have a problem. She's just dandy. She doesn't need to be strong armed into thinking that not wanting sex makes her I'll or unreasonable. She's perfectly entitled to live a celibate life.

She's not entitled to dictate that the op does though.

Op stop using prostitutes. Stop lying to your wife - by omission- about using prostitutes. The only way forward if she is intent on the status quo between you is for you to 1) leave 2) openly seek sexual fulfilment elsewhere. Personally I'd leave in your shoes.

BTW using a woman paid to act as a receptacle into which to shoot your load is much MUCH worse than having an affair.

I'm not a woman hater, but I call them whores and pay to use them. What an oxyMORON.

Thank goodness it's study leave.

"Whores"?

No, of course you don't hate women...

Weeonion - but i have not mentioned your comments on the sex industry. I picked you up on your comments that if op's wife doesnt want sex then it must be his looks and/or prowess.
If your truck with op is his use of prostitutes then why not stick to making that point?
Either you dont mean those comments about it being ops fault if his wife doesnt want sex, just saying it to needle him, in which case it makes you look a bit silliy (imo) OR you do mean it, and as i said previously how hurtful for people (women) ,in the same position of having sex withheld by their partner, to read your comments.

It's a bit late now mate! You've been doing the dirty behind the back of "the one" for 5 years. Has it lost it's buzz? Is money tight? Poor woman.

Emotional cowardice. Your wife risked being rejected, so do the women you prostitute. You don't. Nobody makes any demands on you, your wife stops having sex with you, so you go and buy another woman to masturbate into sex. Feeble.

Houseofpain - please dont didmiss my opinion as bunfighting.
My point is that there will be women who read those comments who do worry that its their fault that their partners withhold sex. Sod whether the op is real or not.
Either weeonion means those comments -and i am entitled to take issue with em- or not, in which case good to remember that op is not the only person reading.

I would guess that the whole of the OP's problem is that he is happy to wank into have sex with women who are receiving no sexual enjoyment from the situation.

Weeonion - yes i assumed you were 'needling' op with those comments. Fair play for saying so, just think it worth remembering that, as i said, its not just op reading them. There is pleeeeeenty here to take op to task over, no need for underhanded insults which could plausibly hurt 'real' peop,e reading. Thats all. No bunfighgtyness intended at all.

the thread is real and not a wind up

Really? Ok. What do you think of our take on your use of prostitutes then?

well obviously you dont agree, and i dont either, but i cant see what choice i really have , except wreck my marriage .

fair enough LFB.

So whatexactly do you want, op?
What is the point of yourpost?

Your marriage is a sham. It is wrecked. You are living a lie.

Your choices are simple.

1. leave
2. have an open marriage
3. be celibate but masturbate

Could be true, Thistledew ...'though of course, his sexual partners over the last five years will have effusively told him the complete opposite because they're paid to.

my post? its just to make you realise that men visit escorts for different reasons, and not that we, re over randy bastards who cheat without reason.

How about go for counselling to look at why sex is so important to you - even if it is sex when the other person does not want to do it?

I think you have stated your priorities. Your need for sex overrides your relationship, and has done for 5 yrs. You have ran the risk for 5 yrs that your wife could find out this.

I would love to crucify you for what you are doing. But what I think you and your wife need is some counselling. You need to get to the bottom of why she doesn't want a sexual relationship. Surely she must want to be kissed and held,,maybe that is it. Maybe you need to take your relationship back to square one, when you just held hands and start kissing her and holding her more. Treat her like a princess, make her feel loved and cared about. Let her know you don't expect sex just enjoy being together and talk, see what happens.

You don't have a reason to cheat. You're lying to yourself, your wife and every single person who thinks you are happily married.

HTH

Yawn.

Chub, this isn't about you.

I agree that his wife is just fine and dandy with the situation.

So it is up to Jake to assert his needs into the mix, stop enabling her dandyness whilst quietly resenting it, and deal with the problem.

Tell us when you have booked the counselling session. Then we will know you are serious about what you really want.