men who got to prostitutes

[jake42]

Hello .
ive been reading all the threads on here about guys who visit escorts/ prostitutes/ whores etc , and i know im probably going to be called all sorts of names as its mainly a womans site, but i thought id write and tell my tale.

42 year old male , married for some 15 years, adore my wife and child and my family life . i want to get old with her .
just after our marriage one evening after sex ,whilst cuddling in bed , she says ive been thinking, we dont have to do sex, we love each other , lets live together like a brother and sister ! WTF im thinking, whats bought this on, nothing i could say or do would change her mind, we had sex very infrequently after , mainly to try for a baby. once said baby was born , she obviously was tired most of the time and eventually moved into the spare room blaming tiredness and my snoring (i do snore, but not that bad) . that was around 10 years ago and is still there now. We may of had sex 6 or 7 times since, im never allowed the pleasure of oral sex either way ,sex is always at my request, but always with the feeling that she just wants me to come and finish.
i adore her and cant imagine life without her, but the thought of no sex or hardly any doesnt appeal to me at all.
so after being knocked back one time too many i visited a site where Escort girls advertised and agreed to meet one .
i have been discreetly seeing different ones for around 5 years, always take every precaution and making sure my wife does not catch anything.
im basically between a rock and a hard place, i need to have sex , my wife doesnt, we love each other , i dont want to leave her , she , i assume doesnt want us to split up . but i cant imagine life for another 30 yrs with out sexual contact. i kind of figure that paying for it off a prostitute is better than having an affair, which as i love my wife would be out of the question.
i would be glad if anyone out there could perhaps in someway give me some advice . oh and im not a woman hater , i adore female company more than male .

[amillionyears]

jake42,op,My guess is that your wife already knows what you are doing.
And you dont like using prostitutes.
I dont think anybody on here has actually suggested you tell her.
I think you should.I dont think it is going to be a surprise.
It may well be a relief to you both.
And then maybe you can both move forward together.

[carmenelectra]

A million year, I think you are probably right. I can't imagine any woman of Jakes age with the internet and the media, not realising how easy it is to buy sex. No longer does a $an have to scour the local red light district for a skanky bird and shag in a car. He can hand pick whatever beauty that takes his fancy.

Would any woman of my generation seriously think a 42 year old man was happy never having sex again just because she went oFf it? I certainly wouldn't be so gullible or naïve.

[carmenelectra]

Where is Jake by the way? Playing happy families or lining up his next girl?

[tractorman]

hi Jake and previous posters .
although i dont agree with what you are doing, its very deceitful, id advise against splitting up with your wife , you have both worked hard for the home you have , and to split up would mean quite a bit of financial hardship. you say you both love each other , and if i was in your shoes , id have a open discussion with her ,talk about your desire for a sex life and tell her how it makes you feel.if she refuses sex, then id suggest counselling, if that doesnt work and you feel so strong that youd like a sexual relationship, then ask her , how she would feel about an open marriage , this will either appal her , or shock her into realising how unhappy you are. Either way you need to bring this issue out, going to escort girls isnt the answer.

[Abitwobblynow]

Well said tractorman. That is the way forward.

All the time she can get away with not taking him seriously, she will. Because that path means no change.

And all the time he pushes his feelings and resentments down for the sake of peace, and not making her uncomfortable, he's on her path.

And change ONLY happens when the discomfort is greater than the pain of change. So Jake really needs to find his bollocks and SPEAK UP. And continue to speak whatever the wails, sulks, whatever that comes his way.

[somebloke123]

I haven't followed all the replies so I may be repeating stuff others have said, but two things struck me particularly about the OP:

Firstly, he clearly was looking in good faith for candid advice, not angling for sympathy, otherwise he wouldn't have used a likely hostile forum such as this.

Second, his wife expressed the wish for them to live together as brother and sister. Now not only is a brother and sister relationship not the same as a husband and wife relationship; the two are mutually exclusive. A brother and sister sharing the same house would not normally feel the obligation to tell the other or ask advice on sexual or romantic relations with others.

So if his wife really meant that she has surely already expressed a wish to end the marriage.

That said I guess there does need to be some sort of agreement reached on relationships with others, whether it is made explicit or as an unspoken understanding.

[tractorman]

blimey "somebloke123" you get told off for saying that !

[bob404040]

ok ive read all the post and have these observations

when you get married friendship, love and sex are all part of it so it is unreasonable to suddenly after a long period of time (except for illness) to say sex or even foreplay is off the table. it is also bang out of order for his wife to say they want to live as brother and sister and not try to resolve the problem, at this point i agree with jake.

how do we know she has stopped sex with jake because she is banging someone else.

at this point councilling or divorce is the option, not going to see a prossy secretly

maybe be an open relationship when you can have sex with other people should have been suggested.

if she is a strict catholic brother and sister should not be married so she should act as brother and sister.
for all the moral comments on here how in this day and age how can the church be taken seriously, how mant priests have been locked up recently for fiddling with kids, how can people take the high moral ground and bring religion into it, maybe you should mention that to your wife.

also how can someone offering a service which you pay for be rape, right or wrong its not rape they are offering sex for money get a grip

so stop seeing the whores talk to your wife and either tell her you want sex back on the table, seek help about it or allow him to see other people for sex or get divorced, make a decision

[tallwivglasses]

Old, old thread alert...