Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

scummy scummy man --I feel so low again and foolish

238 replies

comewwhinewithme · 01/04/2012 15:52

Ok so I'm not sure if anyone remembers my thread at the end of Jan? Dp went awol leaving me with 6dc and I was pg.
He turned back up with some story about loving me but not being in love and how he thought he was having a breakdown.
He didn't move back in but was here all the time and I supported him through his breakdown he would sit and cry and say sorry. He told the kids he was coming home he took money and food off me because he was skint.
He also swore he wanted me was still in love with me and I was the only person who stood by him. He said all his family had turned their back on him.
I fell for it all then I found a new facebook account he had set up and he is in a relationship with a girl he walks with.
Turns out he bought her the same chain he wanted to buy me for valentines day and he showed her a private letter regarding my pregnancy I had from the hospital.
He has also banned my dc from his sisters wedding so he can take her ;(.
The thing that really hurts though is his family they knew all along theiy have been out with her as have two of my oldest friends, what a kick in the teeth.
He is now lying about ever saying he was coming home and said he hasn't slept with me since he left, everyone thinks I'm some mad ex with a grudge and all condoning his actions.
Even his mum sat in my house Thursday and said she didn't know why he had gone.
Why couldn't one of them told me his mum has known me since I was 5 she said I was her third daughter.His sister has photos up of them stood together with their arms round each other
What the fuck did I do.

OP posts:
Teaandcakeplease · 12/04/2012 07:38

More pathetic guilt tripping by him then Hmm Have a lovely day x

Original poster
comewwhinewithme · 12/04/2012 07:51

Thanks Tea. It is pathetic isn't it? I wonder if these are the sort of messages he sent OW before he left me? He seems to thrive on drama and attention.

OP posts:
Original poster
comewwhinewithme · 12/04/2012 07:51

Thanks Tea. It is pathetic isn't it? I wonder if these are the sort of messages he sent OW before he left me? He seems to thrive on drama and attention.

OP posts:
BabsJansen · 12/04/2012 07:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Teaandcakeplease · 12/04/2012 07:56

He sounds unstable really. Thank goodness you are now well out of it.

Jansen have you read the whole thread? Confused

Hyperballad · 12/04/2012 08:06

Babs the priority here is the OP, not whether you understand something or not, IMO.

BabsJansen · 12/04/2012 08:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

serotoninbutterfly · 12/04/2012 08:17

Thoughts are with you OP and if you're anywhere near me (north Oxfordshire) then I would be more than happy to give you some distraction Smile

You are doing really well. I am in awe of you!

Original poster
comewwhinewithme · 12/04/2012 08:55

I hardly go on facebook and anything to do with him is blocked. My ds has his family on facebook which is where he saw the photos and told me.

I do not engage with him I only speak to him regarding my dc. Up until yesterday I had kept contact to just about the dc and so he said he was sad about our late dd which of course made me feel bad so I allowed him to come and see the dc. I won't be making that mistake again.

I have contacted a solicter who told me to work things out between us if we could which I have.

I am ignoring all the texts and emails he sends unless they are about dc so not sure what else I can do.

This is all very new and raw up until a fortnight ago I was in a relationship with him so I'm very sorry if it is Jeremy Kyle to you, but to me it is my life on the floor.
I have spent most of my childhood as best friends with him and lived with him since the age of 19 so it is a bit hard to just be calm and level headed all the time, which is why venting on here helps.
I am taking onboard all advice, not sure what else I can do?

OP posts:
Original poster
comewwhinewithme · 12/04/2012 08:55

I hardly go on facebook and anything to do with him is blocked. My ds has his family on facebook which is where he saw the photos and told me.

I do not engage with him I only speak to him regarding my dc. Up until yesterday I had kept contact to just about the dc and so he said he was sad about our late dd which of course made me feel bad so I allowed him to come and see the dc. I won't be making that mistake again.

I have contacted a solicter who told me to work things out between us if we could which I have.

I am ignoring all the texts and emails he sends unless they are about dc so not sure what else I can do.

This is all very new and raw up until a fortnight ago I was in a relationship with him so I'm very sorry if it is Jeremy Kyle to you, but to me it is my life on the floor.
I have spent most of my childhood as best friends with him and lived with him since the age of 19 so it is a bit hard to just be calm and level headed all the time, which is why venting on here helps.
I am taking onboard all advice, not sure what else I can do?

OP posts:
Original poster
comewwhinewithme · 12/04/2012 08:57

Jansen you can't have read the whole thread or you would have seen many many times that I have ignored texts and emails from him and he can't contact me on facebook.

Shoulda gone to specsavers Wink

OP posts:
Original poster
comewwhinewithme · 12/04/2012 08:57

Jansen you can't have read the whole thread or you would have seen many many times that I have ignored texts and emails from him and he can't contact me on facebook.

Shoulda gone to specsavers Wink

OP posts:
Original poster
comewwhinewithme · 12/04/2012 08:58

Arggghh and I don't know why my posts are posting twice .

OP posts:
pinkpyjamas · 12/04/2012 08:59

You're doing brilliantly.
Take comfort and support from the constructive posters.
Ignore the rest.
You have no need to defend or explain yourself - don't expend any energy on counteracting unnecessary crap on the internet.
Smile

WestWinger · 12/04/2012 09:07

^ what pinkpyjamas said

TimeForMeAndDD · 12/04/2012 09:11

You are doing just great! I am proud of you Smile

Have a lovely day today, you deserve it!

awbless · 12/04/2012 09:27

You are being incredibly strong. Your DC's have a great role model (and also a role model for what Not to do!).

Teaandcakeplease · 12/04/2012 09:31

Yep what Pink said Smile

BabsJansen · 12/04/2012 09:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
comewwhinewithme · 12/04/2012 09:38

Yes I know I said my life was turning into a Jeremy Kyle episode but I am doing all I can to stop that.

Funny you didn't quote my posts where I said I had ignored texts and emails.

OP posts:
TimeForMeAndDD · 12/04/2012 09:42

Don't waste your energy cwwwm. It's obvious to the majority of us reading your thread that you are not engaging, that all the contact is coming from Twunt and you are ignoring. You are doing just great, and you will carry on doing just great too.

Make sure you have a fab day out today!

Original poster
comewwhinewithme · 12/04/2012 09:46

I will have a great day I have no bloody clothes though they are all falling down must be the heartbreak diet.

OP posts:
Original poster
comewwhinewithme · 12/04/2012 09:46

I will have a great day I have no bloody clothes though they are all falling down must be the heartbreak diet.

OP posts:
TimeForMeAndDD · 12/04/2012 09:52
Smile

I always wonder about this heartbreak diet, my clothes didn't fit me either but that was due to piling weight on, caused by the discovery of pear cider and pizza hut discount vouchers!

Teaandcakeplease · 12/04/2012 10:02

I call it the divorce diet. I went down a clothes size due to lack of appetite (())

Eat when you can x