scummy scummy man --I feel so low again and foolish

[comewwhinewithme]

Ok so I'm not sure if anyone remembers my thread at the end of Jan? Dp went awol leaving me with 6dc and I was pg.
He turned back up with some story about loving me but not being in love and how he thought he was having a breakdown.
He didn't move back in but was here all the time and I supported him through his breakdown he would sit and cry and say sorry. He told the kids he was coming home he took money and food off me because he was skint.
He also swore he wanted me was still in love with me and I was the only person who stood by him. He said all his family had turned their back on him.
I fell for it all then I found a new facebook account he had set up and he is in a relationship with a girl he walks with.
Turns out he bought her the same chain he wanted to buy me for valentines day and he showed her a private letter regarding my pregnancy I had from the hospital.
He has also banned my dc from his sisters wedding so he can take her ;(.
The thing that really hurts though is his family they knew all along theiy have been out with her as have two of my oldest friends, what a kick in the teeth.
He is now lying about ever saying he was coming home and said he hasn't slept with me since he left, everyone thinks I'm some mad ex with a grudge and all condoning his actions.
Even his mum sat in my house Thursday and said she didn't know why he had gone.
Why couldn't one of them told me his mum has known me since I was 5 she said I was her third daughter.His sister has photos up of them stood together with their arms round each other
What the fuck did I do.

Bloody hell, you're doing so well. Have you noticed that every time you've posted 'I can't do this' you've bloody well got on and done it!!
That Fuck-Pig is trying to keep you on the back burner. Tell him to nob off ! X

I know KT! I'm getting through it. Somedays I feel like I can't move because of the pain then others I'm singing along to songs and joking with the dc.

It is just an odd,odd part of my life I just need to get through it.

You are amazing. Just that.

Stay strong, you may not believe this now but you are doing so well. Twunt knows this too and that's why he is messing with you. He can't stand the fact you are coping without him. Take great pleasure from ignoring and then smiling your best smile when you do eventually see him. That will hit him where it hurts! Bastard.

I don't feel amazing atm. My dc have had a rough week too I could have kept it together more but I'm trying.

I don't feel amazing atm. My dc have had a rough week too I could have kept it together more but I'm trying.

You are doing really well CWWM and just look how far you have come in such a short time.
You have 6 wee people relying on you and you are doing a great job and as they get older they will realise that you were the one who brought them up, wiped aweay their tears and was available for the cuddles-where was their DF in all this?
He is to be pitied becuase he will miss all the good times and will not enjoy the special times and relationship that you will have with your DC's.
Ignore him and his family, he is playing with your mind trying to regain some control over you--do not engage.
All conversations should be about the DC's only, get the CSA involved.
Don't worry about not managing to keep it together all the time, every day you will get stronger.

Don't be so hard on yourself. You are single handedly taking care of six DC while coping with the emotional fallout caused by that fuckwit. Believe me, you really are amazing.

Thanks TimeforMe and Doha.

Ok so he is taking the girls today. Don't know where he has already text and asked if he can just have 30 mins of my time face to face. I just said "No".

I have 3 messages saved where he admits sleeping with me while he was seeing OW :(. The revenge bitchy part of me wants to send them on to her but I know this will achieve nothing.

Cunt.

Thanks TimeforMe and Doha.

Ok so he is taking the girls today. Don't know where he has already text and asked if he can just have 30 mins of my time face to face. I just said "No".

I have 3 messages saved where he admits sleeping with me while he was seeing OW :(. The revenge bitchy part of me wants to send them on to her but I know this will achieve nothing.

Cunt.

He's taken them ;(

Always so hard when they first start contact and you're left at home ((hugs))

I didn't know it would feel like this I want to hurt him right now.

I didn't know it would feel like this I want to hurt him right now.

Keep your chin up love. This is a difficult stage, suddenly you find yourself left with just, well, yourself! I felt a bit lost in the early days but not any more! I make the most of my free time, plan nice things to do, even if it's just laying back with a face pack and a magazine. Now might be a good time to invest in yourself a bit

I wrote lists.

Like, how I wanted my life to be, where I would be in a year, nourishing food lists, nice stuff for the DC, 5 things I will never do again, 5 really great things about my life/myself/my house. It felt like getting some control back.

And don't talk to him when he drops the DC's back, focus on them - in fact it is a very good habit to get into - no discussions at handovers (except for obvious stuff about the kids).

He is not worth hurting and has done you a favour by revealing what he (and his two-faced family) are really like.

Do the handover on the doorstep, no need to discuss anything with him at all. If he wants to discuss DC's advise him to put it in writing e-mail/text and anything else is offlimits.
Then shut the door on his ugly mug and give your DC's a hug.

Thanks for all the great advice. I like lists and I like pampering.
He has not left me alone decided to tell me he does not love OW, he always thinks of me and it was all flirting that got out of hand. I told him to stop and then ignored.
He took them to softplay and his dsis's which I'm fine with but I am pissed off that his mum decided to ask dd if her new shoes were what she was going to wear to wedding, then showed them some wedding photos and then said "it's a shame mummy didn't let you come" I begged ex to take them.
Anyway am ok feel very happy now haven't cried all day and had a 2 hour bath while they were out.

Brilliant! You are doing great.

Do not, under any circumstances, allow him or his family to get you down. Place yourself in an imaginary bubble that no one can penetrate. You are worth so much more than him and his family.

He is soon going to realise what a wonderful woman he has lost. If he is starting to think that now, just wait until he has been gone a few more weeks and you have blossomed further!

The dc were really happy to see him you could see them beaming and he said the toddler kept kissing him.
It just made me sad though he's thrown it all away and he can't ever come back because I have 5 girls (poor old ds with all the sisters) and what message would it send to them?
Its all so pathetic.
Thanks Timeforme ;).

You are doing really well. Wish I could give you a squeeze love. I felt very angry with exh at times when at your stage x

Virtual squuezes are accepted tea! I don't feel angry with him today, apart from the little wobble I had when he first took the dc.
I feel numb and detached although tomorrow I will probably be sobbing or ranting.

Lists are great, I make loads. I also journal my emotions when I want to keep it from the Dc. Its very theraputic!

Why would he take her to the wedding if he still wants you? odd man - "Twunt"is a wonderful word keep strong hun

I have been keeping a diary thing, you're right it does help.

Gutted feeling is back why do I suffer in the mornings? My heart feels broken all over again.

I always found mornings hard. Once the day got going and I felt busy things improved a little. More squeezes your way x

Do you have anything nice planned?

Keep it up, you're doing well. Did you realise you were as strong as this? X