scummy scummy man --I feel so low again and foolish

[comewwhinewithme]

Ok so I'm not sure if anyone remembers my thread at the end of Jan? Dp went awol leaving me with 6dc and I was pg.
He turned back up with some story about loving me but not being in love and how he thought he was having a breakdown.
He didn't move back in but was here all the time and I supported him through his breakdown he would sit and cry and say sorry. He told the kids he was coming home he took money and food off me because he was skint.
He also swore he wanted me was still in love with me and I was the only person who stood by him. He said all his family had turned their back on him.
I fell for it all then I found a new facebook account he had set up and he is in a relationship with a girl he walks with.
Turns out he bought her the same chain he wanted to buy me for valentines day and he showed her a private letter regarding my pregnancy I had from the hospital.
He has also banned my dc from his sisters wedding so he can take her ;(.
The thing that really hurts though is his family they knew all along theiy have been out with her as have two of my oldest friends, what a kick in the teeth.
He is now lying about ever saying he was coming home and said he hasn't slept with me since he left, everyone thinks I'm some mad ex with a grudge and all condoning his actions.
Even his mum sat in my house Thursday and said she didn't know why he had gone.
Why couldn't one of them told me his mum has known me since I was 5 she said I was her third daughter.His sister has photos up of them stood together with their arms round each other
What the fuck did I do.

How awful.

He sounds like the product of his dreadful family too. The apple didn't fall far from the tree did it?

Protect yourself and forget what they say about you - they are nasty people trying to justify themselves. When you're more together again, you'll be able to widen your horizons and forget about these nasty people. Wishing you all the best.

comewhine - I am so sorry to hear this. He's an utter utter bastarding shit :(

As for his Mum, that's disgusting - there is NO excuse for her to treat you like that. She's known you almost all of your life and counted you as one of her daughters - she owed you MUCH more than that. Yes, he's her son, but she should not have allowed him to treat you like that... her betrayal is as bad as his... and your friends too :( What a bunch of vile people :(

Think about it all in detail - that should make you very fucking angry!!

Also, get yourself tested :(

I am really sorry for all the crap typos and poor punctuation. It's the phone not me honestly, the screen is tiny.

I am so sorry and all I can think of saying right now is

What a cunt.

Not a word I use lightly.

You and your DCs deserve so much more than this.

You will be fine. It will take time but you will get through it.
x

comewhine - even if it was 'you', anyone that has a problem with it could go screw themselves read another thread! Bloody phones, you lot are enough to put me off upgrading from my dinosaur phone!!

I intend to get tested asap. I know it sounds foolish but it feels like his family betrayal hurts more. His mum hugged me on Thursday and said she didn't have a clue why he had gone. He's a scumbag but why did they support his lies and leave me to bring up 6 dc?
As for the friends these are women I've known for years I was with them when they got BFP's, held their babies as newborns, lent them money and have always been there when they needed me. Now there is pics of them on fb on a night out with her.
They have all been laughing at me.

He was so convincing with his breakdown act that I gave him a very precious teddy that belonged to our dd who died. I told him it would comfort him and I can't bear to think of I t sàt in the OW's house.
I asked for it back and he said no.

They are not laughing at you , they will not be wanting to think about you at all because it will feel too unpleasant, they will be feeling uncomfortable with it so will just ignore you, because they are wankers quite frankly. They will just turn their faces away from you because they know what they are doing is SHITE. But no-one will be laughing, deep down they will know how AWFUL your ex and themselves are behaving but they won't acknowledge it, why would they? No one likes to feel guilty and bad. More likely they will all be justifying it to themselves and each other. You have the moral highground. It might not mean much now but believe me in years to come it will.

Thankyou Emma I know you are right. Like I said to ex yesterday you can keep lying but when you have those nights when you can't sleep that's when the guilt will kick in because even if everyone else believes you, you know in your heart what you did and you have to come to terms with that yourself.

The two faced family are showing their true colours.

Detach from this destructive manipulative man. Have contact only regarding the children and cut all other ties.

It just feels so wrong and sordid. My life turned into the jeremy kyle show

My love, I too remember your thread, and I'm so sorry that you have had to go through all of this.

None of this is anything YOU did. This is not punishment for a crime YOU committed, these are the actions of some morally bankrupt low life scum. Seriously.

Cut them ALL out of your lives and restrict his access to only regarding the DC.

I know you hurt right now, but it will pass, you will recover and you will regain your strength.

He however will ALWAYS be a cunt.

I remember your thread too, I'm so sorry, what a bastarding kick in the teeth.

Keep on posting on here if it helps with the stomach churning, because it's true, this will all pass, and one fine day you will breathe freely without him dragging you down.

xxxx

I know that's why I started a thread again I need handholding. My 14 year old just gave me a hug he doesn't hug anymore so that was nice lol.
What a bastarding bastard he told ds he had gone because of his teenage tantrums, told me he had gone cos he couldn't cope with my grief over my gran's death and all the time he was setting up a new relationship.
I feel like I have to talk about it all the time or I think about it and cry. Does that make sense?

Talk away.

I would ring his mother and tell her that if you ever meant anything at all to her she will get that Teddy and give it back to you!

I can totally understand why his family betrayl feels worse than his - she was like a mother to you :(

She won't get it me back. I can't contact her I would end up screaming and then they would have had their reaction from me and a little more drama.

They have no loyalty to me.

What an utter cock he is,and a nasty shit to boot. You are well rid,and while it is so hard for you now you WILL get through this and be better off without this loser.

Feeling calmer now. The two youngest are tucked up in bed with me and I'm not feeling as shitty about stuff.

You are right Glasto. When he went in Jan I was a wreck but I coped I could have days where I would be really strong and not give in to his affections but he got me in the end and I got sucked back in.
He's made me feel dirty ;(

So this seems to be the new thing waking up in the small hours feeling sick.
Why the fuck can men do this? Bastard wanker.
If someone invented a tablet to get rid of this feeling they would be very rich. I feel so shit.

omg wat a nice family ... not your better off whithout them

I know I am. I just wish the hurt would stop. Dd woke up crying because she wanted daddy :( how can they do this shit to their families?

They did invent something, it's called sleeping tablets or perhaps anti depressants. I found rescue remedy helpful at this stage. I didn't go on AD's until much later on. At this stage I was fueled by coffee and adrenaline but do speak to your doctor.

I was incredibly angry at my now ExH then. My DD used to cry "daddy gone, daddy lost" and I wanted to kill him. You have to work through these feelings as best as you can. I had counselling. I needed a safe place to talk about them and not to end up taking them out on my DCs as my mind was like a washing machine constantly.

I really feel for you. Please keep talking here, if it helps.

Ok good morning but this afternoon I can't stop crying.
On your advice teacake I have rung dr's and they are seeing me tonight at 6.00.
Have started new tax credits claim and chaged child benefit to my account.
Got an appt with a solicter too. Although when I spoke to them they said I should try and work it out with him first have sent a text saying I will ring him at 3pm.
I hate him I hate her I feel like dying.

Massive hugs CWWM xx