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Original poster

scummy scummy man --I feel so low again and foolish

238 replies

comewwhinewithme · 01/04/2012 15:52

Ok so I'm not sure if anyone remembers my thread at the end of Jan? Dp went awol leaving me with 6dc and I was pg.
He turned back up with some story about loving me but not being in love and how he thought he was having a breakdown.
He didn't move back in but was here all the time and I supported him through his breakdown he would sit and cry and say sorry. He told the kids he was coming home he took money and food off me because he was skint.
He also swore he wanted me was still in love with me and I was the only person who stood by him. He said all his family had turned their back on him.
I fell for it all then I found a new facebook account he had set up and he is in a relationship with a girl he walks with.
Turns out he bought her the same chain he wanted to buy me for valentines day and he showed her a private letter regarding my pregnancy I had from the hospital.
He has also banned my dc from his sisters wedding so he can take her ;(.
The thing that really hurts though is his family they knew all along theiy have been out with her as have two of my oldest friends, what a kick in the teeth.
He is now lying about ever saying he was coming home and said he hasn't slept with me since he left, everyone thinks I'm some mad ex with a grudge and all condoning his actions.
Even his mum sat in my house Thursday and said she didn't know why he had gone.
Why couldn't one of them told me his mum has known me since I was 5 she said I was her third daughter.His sister has photos up of them stood together with their arms round each other
What the fuck did I do.

OP posts:
Original poster
comewwhinewithme · 11/04/2012 20:55

Bad bad bad day. Just want to sleep and not have to deal with this shit anymore.

He has started accusing me of sleeping with another man, I've been "shagging down country lanes". All totally ridiculous and I ignored.

Then I got a strange call where he was crying and saying he was on his way to see our dd's grave as it was the only child that wanted him anymore, He said he needed to be near his kids so I said he could see them he walked in tried to hug me started telling me he still loved me and needed me. I pushed him off and told him to piss off.
Then he asked if I could lend him a tenner!!! I said no so he ranted said it was the OW he wanted not me I told him that was fine and he just said some awful things.

I can't believe he used our dead child to get a reaction from me.

15 years and he can treat me so badly how can he turn the love off like that?

He also said all his family hate me and can't stand me. I don't know if he is lying I'm heartbroken he's told so many lies and they believed him and now I look the fool when he caused it all.

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Original poster
comewwhinewithme · 11/04/2012 20:59

I don't even care what he does with OW. I'm just sick of all the drama.

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Original poster
comewwhinewithme · 11/04/2012 20:59

I don't even care what he does with OW. I'm just sick of all the drama.

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awbless · 11/04/2012 21:04

You know he's a dick, his family know he's a dick, everyone who know's him will know he's a dick and he knows it too. Rise above it. Let him him crack on with his hystrionics and pathetic drama's. He can't stoop any lower only to crawl back under his stone.

You continue to look after yourself and your DC's.

(my x told his family and anyone in our village who wanted to listen to his salacious lies about me. He slagged me off, said I'd cheated on him and that we were happy! THe even emailed my mother! Talk about deluded. I did not even raise an eyebrow, kept a dignified silence)

Bogeyface · 11/04/2012 21:06

This wont be much consolation, but atleast he is sticking to the script. He is following it to the letter!

You ignored his "I love you"'s so he upped the ante in an attempt to get a reaction, hence the disgusting attempt by using you late DC, which is shitty but not surprising. A woman I know from another website had exactly the same thing done to her, there really is no low to which they will not stoop :(

When that didnt work he tried it on again, and when you rebuffed him he went back to the old favourite of insults.

So you can atleast be safe in the knowledge that ignoring him is working. It means that he will soon get bored and will probably be cheating on the OW with yet another OW soon. Its just what they do, unfortunately. But it means that for you atleast, the end is in sight. x

Bogeyface · 11/04/2012 21:08

Oh and incidentally, he will tell you his family hate you because he is projecting. Chances are they dont think much of him and he knows it, but wants you to feel worse than he does, so lied and said it was you they hated.

Original poster
comewwhinewithme · 11/04/2012 21:13

You are all right. I'm just numb he jsut wanted money from me.
Talking about sticking to the script he is also going to get custody of the dc [hmmm] because my kitchen cupboard was a mess.

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Teaandcakeplease · 11/04/2012 21:19

What a dick. Up the boundaries and contact has to be elsewhere from now on Angry

TimeForMeAndDD · 11/04/2012 21:27

What a Twunt!

I agree re upping the boundaries and contact being elsewhere. You have to think of, and protect, your emotional health, you can't have him walking in when he feels like it and treating you like this.

Don't let him bring you down, he isn't worth it. X

Original poster
comewwhinewithme · 11/04/2012 21:31

He is not supposed to. Be in the house at all I think he knew if he used our dd I would feel bad and I did.

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Original poster
comewwhinewithme · 11/04/2012 21:31

He is not supposed to. Be in the house at all I think he knew if he used our dd I would feel bad and I did.

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IDontWantToBeFatAnymore · 11/04/2012 21:34

Just a thought - could one of the children get the teddy when they go to see their father?

Original poster
comewwhinewithme · 11/04/2012 21:36

He said he will give it me back now.

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TimeForMeAndDD · 11/04/2012 21:39

I would say you need not to see him or have contact with him for a good while. All this is emotionally draining and with 6 children to take care of you don't need it. Could you make a set arrangement for contact and tell him to simply stick to it, and leave you alone. His contacting you the way he is doing is simply an effort to make himself feel better, he isn't thinking of you at all, only himself.

awbless · 11/04/2012 21:43

Comewhine you never told told us your kitchen cupboards were a mess! tut tutGrin

As above - his predictability is astonishing. I hope it is some comfort to you to know his behavior is sooo predicatble and many of us have been through what you are now going through - and come out better off and so have our DC's.

By the way he's not even very good at it is he?

IDontWantToBeFatAnymore · 11/04/2012 21:53

I hope he does.

Original poster
comewwhinewithme · 11/04/2012 21:59

Stupid thing is if he would just be honest instead of constant bullshit life would be better.

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Original poster
comewwhinewithme · 11/04/2012 21:59

Stupid thing is if he would just be honest instead of constant bullshit life would be better.

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Original poster
comewwhinewithme · 11/04/2012 22:01

I hope he gives it me back too.
I did laugh at the kitchen cupboard comment what a fool.

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Original poster
comewwhinewithme · 11/04/2012 22:01

I hope he gives it me back too.
I did laugh at the kitchen cupboard comment what a fool.

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glastocat · 11/04/2012 22:08

What a complete shit he is,and you are being magnificent (though I am sure you don't feel it,but you will!). Have a non mumsnetty hug from me,you are doing so well,stay strong and cuddle your babies!

glastocat · 11/04/2012 22:10

And yes,the kitchen cupboard thing is laughable!

glastocat · 11/04/2012 22:12

And yes,the kitchen cupboard thing is laughable! And there is no way in hell you look like a fool,methinks he is projecting again.

awbless · 11/04/2012 22:20

Unfortunately the one thing he won't be is honest. He'll peddle this crap for a long time - and the sad thing is - he probably believes it in his own deluded world, because the won't be able to stomach the reality of what he has done. He is a first class dick - and he's joining the Grand Order of The Dick (never ending supply of members(?))

Original poster
comewwhinewithme · 12/04/2012 07:29

Ok so a new day. I am snuggling a cuddly sleepy toddler and I feel ok.
Had a pathetiv email he is leaving OW and moving in with his mum next sat.
Not responded don't care.
He's gone way too far now and I won't allow him to screw me up anymore.
Me and the dc have a nice day planned with my dsis and friend. Looking forward to it.
Thanks for all the hugs and kind words it is what gets me through. [Thanks]

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