So, had date on Sunday, another one this Friday - what do you think of this?

[shineoncrazydiam0nd]

Had warm ish date with man on Sunday evening and we have arranged to go for dinner etc this Friday and ..well, see how the night goes I suppose!

I already know him in that I went out with him for six month when I was 14 and he was 17 - we are now 39 and 42 respectively and our paths have crossed again so just seeing how things go really. I have only seen him once or twice over the past 25 years and not at all for the past decade or so.

So, we go out for a drink on Sunday. He is not some jack the lad, he is the UK's top person in his specific field, very intelligent man. I get in his car and he has a can of beer on the go. I make some comment and he says that he always has a can of beer when driving along. I'm not sure what to think about that! Obviously you'd have some questions to answer if the coppers pulled you over etc but WHO has to have a beer when driving? An alcoholic? An 18 year old lad trying to impress? Is this NORMAL behaviour? I suppose I wondered what was the urgency..

We then drive off to the pub. He drove at 95miles PH along the road - a 50 zone. I swear to God I nearly wet myself. We were taking corners at literally breakneck speed. I told him to slow down - he did so by about 3 mph! He was laughing and incredulous that I was so scared - ' but this is a top of the range BMW! The brakes are incredible and there's about 7 air bags on your side alone ... '

So... is he a twat? Tell me straight. my radar is not good really at the best of times when it comes to men. He is lovely, btw.

sigh.

really?

yup

'He is lovely, btw'

• I don't think so! Sounds like an idiot to drive like that. And so comforting that he's happy with his air bags (oooer missus) - what if the other car he hits doesn't have them? Or the pedestrian who wasn't expecting someone to drive at 95 mph?

Tosser.

Seconded. If you want to survive keep seeing him, don't let him do the driving.

Idiot at best.

He could have killed both of you..

A neighbour drinks a can of lager or two when driving his kids. They were adopted for a better life, I doubt they are getting it.

Oh I told him that it isn't about his driving - he told me he was an amazing driver - and that there was no way that he could anticipate other drivers - but he just said the brakes were amazing.

No he is not lovely-he is a giant turd and you need to run far far away in the opposite direction!!. In answer to your question-yes I would assume someone had a major drink problem of they couldnt go without while driving! ffs!. Also he drove like a complete knob even though you were clearly afraid?. Really do I need to say anymore?.....

Total knob.

FAB - He is not in any danger of having his kids adopted I dont think!

Yes he is a twat with no concern for pedestrians and other road users.

What you are doing with him is a mystery

I would reset your own radar as it is awry at present. You need to unlearn the damaging patterns that you've learnt previously otherwise you will continue to make the same types of mistakes.

I would read "Women who love too much" written by Robin Norwood.

No, I mean the drinker has adopted the kids.

But he is so clever! Really, if you googled him you would be impressed! He is nice, funny, good looking..

Oh God. I should give up men. Really!

From a man's perspective?

Utter utter twat.

Anyone who drives that fast in a 50mph zone has no regard for the lives of others. Note from his answer that he is only offering assurance as to your safety - he could care less about the victim in the other car.

And he has to have a beer on the go while driving?

He is a major league bell-end.

Clever my arse. My BIL is "clever" and thinks he knows it all but he's still a narcissist!.

Attilla - well, I'm not 'with' him. This is just a second date. I will this time either drive myself or insist on a taxi if we are drinking.

I was so stunned by the speed though - and it felt much faster on the winding country road we were on. He was driving at a fast motorway speed, iyswim.

Yes twat. Do not get in the car with him again. What person in their right minds drinks a can of beer while driving??!

Noooooooooooooo!!!! nice men do not-
drink while driving
drive that knobbers
laugh at you when you point out they are being a twat.

So what if he is the top man in his field? doesnt make him less of a twunt.

Respectless idiot.

No respect for you, you asked him to slow down and he didn't. This was a date, and he was meant to be impressing you - if that is his idea of impressing and seeing that his date has a good time, could you imagine what years to come would be like if you were in a relationship? Oh god no. Run awaaaay!

No respect for other drivers who could have been hit by him too. And drinking a can of beer while driving is just tacky AND stupid.

Yes, this 'beer on the go ' took me aback a little. Who cant either have a can before leaving or wait until they reach their destination? He is not driving pissed, by the way... just.. seemed.. odd?

Early days and already you are making excuses. Give him another chance if you want but then that is it.

TWAT

The road is great to drive along but you have to go steady as deer and foxes just bound out in front of you - I live in a very rural area. I needed alcohol when we got to the pub.

Well, you are with him if you're going on a second date and you presumably want to see him again (why?). Why put yourself at risk, d'you like the bad boys?. Bad boys are just that - bad.

What is in this for you?. You write yourself that your radar is not good at the best of times. Unlearn these patterns you have previously learnt for your own sake.