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Original poster

So, had date on Sunday, another one this Friday - what do you think of this?

352 replies

shineoncrazydiam0nd · 22/06/2011 14:19

Had warm ish date with man on Sunday evening and we have arranged to go for dinner etc this Friday and ..well, see how the night goes I suppose!

I already know him in that I went out with him for six month when I was 14 and he was 17 - we are now 39 and 42 respectively and our paths have crossed again so just seeing how things go really. I have only seen him once or twice over the past 25 years and not at all for the past decade or so.

So, we go out for a drink on Sunday. He is not some jack the lad, he is the UK's top person in his specific field, very intelligent man. I get in his car and he has a can of beer on the go. I make some comment and he says that he always has a can of beer when driving along. I'm not sure what to think about that! Obviously you'd have some questions to answer if the coppers pulled you over etc but WHO has to have a beer when driving? An alcoholic? An 18 year old lad trying to impress? Is this NORMAL behaviour? I suppose I wondered what was the urgency..

We then drive off to the pub. He drove at 95miles PH along the road - a 50 zone. I swear to God I nearly wet myself. We were taking corners at literally breakneck speed. I told him to slow down - he did so by about 3 mph! He was laughing and incredulous that I was so scared - ' but this is a top of the range BMW! The brakes are incredible and there's about 7 air bags on your side alone ... '

So... is he a twat? Tell me straight. my radar is not good really at the best of times when it comes to men. He is lovely, btw.

OP posts:
TragicallyHip · 22/06/2011 14:31

It is very odd and you just not needed!

ASByatt · 22/06/2011 14:32

"But he is so clever! Really, if you googled him you would be impressed! He is nice, funny, good looking.."

He wouldn't be after a major RTA.

Honestly, this is not the behaviour of a 'clever' man. How could it be? Or do you prefer to think that he is 'clever' - but also thoughtless, inconsiderate, self-centred. Are they attractive qualities too?

TragicallyHip · 22/06/2011 14:32

Random you in that sentence!

AttilaTheMeerkat · 22/06/2011 14:32

Stop making excuses for him and examine closely your own reasons as to why you chose this man as a potential boyfriend in the first place.

MIFLAW · 22/06/2011 14:32

And from an alocholic's perspective ...

TWAT.

And problem drinker.

Even I used to manage to abstain while actually driving to and from the pub.

fuckmepinkandCALLmegoran · 22/06/2011 14:34

Shiney - your date, for example, is a twat.

StayFrosty · 22/06/2011 14:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
shineoncrazydiam0nd · 22/06/2011 14:35

I don't think I like bad boys, no. And he isn't a bad boy. not how I think of one anyway. He is no womaniser or abuser for sure.

I just couldn't for the life of me decide whether a can of beer in the car and driving like a nutter were dealbreakers.

I'm not interested in a relationship with him necessarily. I prefer a single life with some field playing and usually see people on a fairly casual basis and 'see how it goes ' so nothing is 'pinned' on him being the one or anything.

I just wondered if others would agree that it was odd. And it appears that you all do!

OP posts:
ggirl · 22/06/2011 14:36

clearly he hasn't grown up that much since you last dated
I wouldn't see him again and explain exactly why

Original poster
shineoncrazydiam0nd · 22/06/2011 14:37

miflaw - you think a beer in the car is problem drinking? I think he has one on the way home from work. just one. But it's not usual is it? He thinks as he is well under the limit then it is no different to me maybe cracking open a can of coke on a drive

OP posts:
AttilaTheMeerkat · 22/06/2011 14:38

"I just couldn't for the life of me decide whether a can of beer in the car and driving like a nutter were dealbreakers".

You could not decide on something so fundamental?.

Original poster
shineoncrazydiam0nd · 22/06/2011 14:40

Umm, no, not really.

The way I see it Attilla is that I would not let him drive on friday. Im not stupid and have no desire to enter his potential coffin on wheels again . the beer in the car... no, couldnt work out for sure what i thought of this one.

I dont tend to do relationships as i am bloody useless at them so i just enjoy being single and dating as a rule

OP posts:
ExpatMummyInOz · 22/06/2011 14:41

But he is so clever! Really, if you googled him you would be impressed! He is nice, funny, good looking..

Oh God. I should give up men. Really!

OP, Oh please. He is a complete and utter total arrogant, egocentric nob-head of the first degree. He probably has an absolutely tiny dick too, but thankfully you'll be spared that bit. :o

Wave him bye-bye as he speeds off into the sunset........and report him to the police for dangerous driving!

MIFLAW · 22/06/2011 14:41

"miflaw - you think a beer in the car is problem drinking? I think he has one on the way home from work. just one."

Not exactly - I think it is a strong potential indicator of problem drinking.

In other words, one can in the car in isolation is not drinking a lot.

The fact that he chooses to drink a beer in the car suggests that, when drinking is actually socially acceptable (at home, in a pub, at parties) he probably drinks shit loads.

If you saw someone smoking a roll up in your local ibrary would you think, "oh, it's only one roll-up, that's not a lot, he probably doesn't smoke much" or "bloody hell, what an addict, he can't even spend 20 minutes in a LIBRARY without sparking up!"

nocake · 22/06/2011 14:41

You know he's a twat or you wouldn't have posted this.

Drinking and driving isn't big or clever, neither is driving that fast. He may think he's a good driver but he sure as hell isn't good enough to brake in time if a small child runs out in front of his car with no warning. Not even Lewis Hamilton has reactions that quick. How would you feel about him if he was in court for killing a child?

warthog · 22/06/2011 14:42

fucking hell

he drinks WHILE driving
he breaks the speed limit by a bannable margin
he drives recklessly taking corners to fast

and he thinks he drives well?????????

PLEASE give me his reg no. because he deserves to be reported.

Original poster
shineoncrazydiam0nd · 22/06/2011 14:44

nocake - well, im not responsible for his driving so im not going to imagine all kinds of potential scenarios. im not going out in his car again, so he can make his own mind up how he chooses to drive.

miflaw - yes, that makes a lot of sense to me.

I will see him on friday as 'its just dinner etc' but have a feeling that ' another one bites the dust ..'

OP posts:
Original poster
shineoncrazydiam0nd · 22/06/2011 14:45

warthog - oh he handled the car brilliantly. but we were not on a racing track so i was terrified a deer would step out. or he would lose control.

OP posts:
AttilaTheMeerkat · 22/06/2011 14:45

"I dont tend to do relationships as i am bloody useless at them so i just enjoy being single and dating as a rule"

Now why are you so bloody useless at relationships exactly?. You are still not picking well if this man is the latest in a long line of losers. In such circs I would forget entirely about dating for now and work on your own self instead.

adamschic · 22/06/2011 14:45

I would be very unimpressed if he couldn't even pick you up without a drink in his hand but at the wheel. I lived with a guy who drove really fast and we used to travel up and down the motorway all the time. I hated they way he drove and always felt unsafe.

If you are only interested in dating then I would go on Friday. But.... and there is a but my taste in men us usually very off.

I have in the last year or so gone out with 3 different blokes from my past. One was 14 yrs ago, and 2, 20 yrs ago and guess what. Nothing had changed and they still acted the same as way back then towards me. I would avoid an old flame like the plague now.

Original poster
shineoncrazydiam0nd · 22/06/2011 14:47

I just mangle relationships. Or get bored. One of the two.

Far easier for me to date etc. I get to have fun, dinner, drinks, sex, whatever - depending on the circumstances - but without the commitment. I am very happy on my own, no lonely longings or anything and I dont necessarily want to make changes to that - would do if it evolved into something good though.

I now know that this one wont

OP posts:
Original poster
shineoncrazydiam0nd · 22/06/2011 14:48

we split up last time as he was doing his A levels and i was doing my GCSES!

OP posts:
drwhose · 22/06/2011 14:48

Is he 15?

You will insist on driving yourself or take a taxi next time?

Next time? Shock

You have already admitted your radar is not good when it comes to men. You are not kidding! He drinks beer when driving and then drives like an arsehole, doesn't slow down when you ask him to. He obviously has no respect for you to put you in danger as well as himself.

He is a twat and I am sorry but if you go on another date with him knowing all this then you area twat too.

cremeeggsbenedict · 22/06/2011 14:48

Twat for the beer thing, twat for the driving fast thing, ubertwat for having to tell you it's a "top of the range BMW". Anyone who has to point out where in the range their car came from is a moron. Fact.

openerofjars · 22/06/2011 14:50

Red flag to the bit where he laughed at you for being scared. Major, major dickhead alert, is that.

And as for actually drinking while driving, well, really. Does he drive without a seatbelt, because his driving's so amazing, as well?