So, had date on Sunday, another one this Friday - what do you think of this?

[shineoncrazydiam0nd]

Had warm ish date with man on Sunday evening and we have arranged to go for dinner etc this Friday and ..well, see how the night goes I suppose!

I already know him in that I went out with him for six month when I was 14 and he was 17 - we are now 39 and 42 respectively and our paths have crossed again so just seeing how things go really. I have only seen him once or twice over the past 25 years and not at all for the past decade or so.

So, we go out for a drink on Sunday. He is not some jack the lad, he is the UK's top person in his specific field, very intelligent man. I get in his car and he has a can of beer on the go. I make some comment and he says that he always has a can of beer when driving along. I'm not sure what to think about that! Obviously you'd have some questions to answer if the coppers pulled you over etc but WHO has to have a beer when driving? An alcoholic? An 18 year old lad trying to impress? Is this NORMAL behaviour? I suppose I wondered what was the urgency..

We then drive off to the pub. He drove at 95miles PH along the road - a 50 zone. I swear to God I nearly wet myself. We were taking corners at literally breakneck speed. I told him to slow down - he did so by about 3 mph! He was laughing and incredulous that I was so scared - ' but this is a top of the range BMW! The brakes are incredible and there's about 7 air bags on your side alone ... '

So... is he a twat? Tell me straight. my radar is not good really at the best of times when it comes to men. He is lovely, btw.

"warthog - oh he handled the car brilliantly."

But he didn't, though!
To handle a car brilliantly involes driving in an appropriate manner, which he obviously didn't.

Why are you sticking up for him?

'involves' even, sorry.

Driving at lunatic speed isn't "handling the car brilliantly"!
Just out of interest, how much did he drink when you actually got to the pub?
Not that it matters, he'd already shown his true colours.
That's three strikes right there:
driving like an inconsiderate fool
drinking while driving
refusing to slow down by a meaningful amount when you asked

I thought you were afraid of commitment of any sort and I've been proven right. You want risk free all the time, perhaps you act as you do because you don't want to be further hurt.

I would imagine that you yourself learnt some very damaging lessons about relationships from your parents when growing up.

Do yourself a real favour here and stop all this as of now. You need to work on you and unlearn all the crap about relationships/dating you have so far learnt.

You must be quite desperate to want a 2nd date with a man like that

you know formula one when they crash and there's a red flag?

well this is yours just be thankful it's pre emtive

Shiney, the fact that he is top of his field etc is sooooo irrelevant to what he is like as a person.

Ashley Cole and Ryan Giggs are top of their fields and they are twats. I also know someone who is top of his field and has cheated on his wife left, right and centre.

You know the answer in your heart.

HowToLookGoodGlaikit, thats a lovely thing to say, I bet the OP feels fantastic having read that.

Have you heard yourself Shiney...

'Oh he is so clever'
'oh he is the best in the UK in his field'
'oh he handled the car very well'
'oh I will just go for dinner on Friday because its just dinner'
'I will drive myself because I won't go in the coffin on wheels'

Just how desperate are you for a date? You are very easily impressed by complete twats by the sound of it.

You need to drop this idiot and work on yourself so you can prevent yourself from being attracted to losers time and again. Why are you going on another date with him? You must have very low self esteem to even consider this and that needs to be worked on before you date anyone.

Drinking while driving = twat
I have never known anyone who does that and I know a couple of alcoholics. Can't he wait until destination?

Dangerous driving = twat
A good driver is someone that is aware and anticipating other road users and conditions, not someone who drives in a selfish manner (ooh look at my penis extension expensive car)

Not slowing down when asked = twat
This man is happy to scare to someone and to continue the behaviour when pointed out? Biggest red flag of all

I personally would not be going for a second try, he is an arrogant arsehole

What is this 'field' that he is 'top' in?

How to be a complete knob-istry?

How to impress the birds when you are 12 years old - ism?

shine - Perhaps that list of what you are looking for in a relationship needs a slight adjustment?

Whoa!Op, if you want my advice, stop reading this thread!

For some reason, theres a point in these threads where people start tearing into you, pointing out your flaws and just generally making you feel rubbish for having asked for some advice making you justify your behaviour.

You're not desperate, you've ended up going on a date with someone who doesn't make great choices as far as alcohol and driving. That may transfer to other areas in his life, which may or may not affect you - it sounds like you are happy to walk away from this. You'll be fine.

What an idiot, I would not even consider seeing him again. If you want to drive like that, you go for one of those 'experiences' on a proper race track, not on public roads where you're putting people's lives in danger. He had no consideration for your feelings either.

Personally 'BMW driver' is a bit of a red flag in itself for me...

He may be a lovely guy in all other respects but he is a twat behind the wheel - its unbelievable that a 40 year old drinks while driving then drives in such a careless manner even if he does have a fabulously fast car (FWIW, I often find men with high performance cars turn into even bigger knobs behind the wheel than they usual are) with good breaks I'd kick him to the curb as with that attitude to driving, he's an accident waiting to happen.

Was he actually doing 95mph in a 50? That is dangerous.

Drinking a beer while driving - well hardly the end of the world is it? As long as he stays under the limit, it's perfectly legal. Or at least as legal as having any other sort of drink in the car.

Drwhose - thank you for your analysis of my character I'd like to say youre spot on but you're not.

Igetknockedup - Ah, it is not a problem. Im not worried about who 'tears into me '.. This is mumsnet after all!

lady - im not desperate, no

quid - he had 2 pints

So what reasoning do you have for being impressed by such a knob Shiney? He sounds like a complete arsehole and the excuses you made for him were laughable.

Why on earth would you even consider another date with such a loser? You said yourself that your radar when it comes to men is bad. Yet you get all the advice on this thread and still say you will go on another date.

im sorry if giving me advice is impinging on your busy day drwhose.

He isn't a loser but he isnt for me thats for sure.

No. Just no. If only that if he kills you with his driving, your kids will have to go and live with their knobby fathers.