After 17 years we have called it a day

[lou33]

My h is moving out tomorrow, we have just told the kids. It was decided when i was in Thailand, and i only got back on friday night.

I guess old timers will remember that we have been having trouble for a while, but we kept trying. We can't try anymore however, so have decided to end it. We havent really shouted at each other, it's all been v civil, and i hope we can carry on being like that.

Has anyone been able to separate and keep it nice?

thank you

ds1 is 7 today, so h is here

he is here til friday but i am going away on tues

I should have known this amicable realtionship wouldnt last.

He just told me he is going to move back in, that he is entitled to, and if i dont like it i can move out and leave the kids with him. He says the last few weeks i have put him through so much shit, completely forgetting the years he has made me miserable.

I told him he isnt coming back but he says he is.

Can you get some legal advice on the situation ? I'm pretty sure that he is legally entitled to move back into the property, but a legal bod might be able to give you a few ideas on how to handle it or strategies to avoid it.

xxx

oh no that's not what you want is it?
My laptop is at the menders so I don't have MSN at the moment but

Oh no.

Get legal advice quickly.He is probably just desperately hoping you'll get back together and in true blokey fashion is going about it like this.Who owns the house?

i told him i cant do it anymore, he can move in and i will go

if i dont do that he is threatening to go round the world for a year and never see the kids

i would rather give in so the kids had their daddy than that to happen

Don't give in to his bullying, Lou.

Will he not listen to the fact that him moving back in will just confuse the kids and cause them more heart ache in the long run ??

so let him go - he sounds a cunt. you can't care for your kids emotional wellbeing for him on his part.

you can only be a good person. if he wants to wander off them let him the kids are old enough to know whats going on and they too will grow up and think dad was a cunt. and guess what its his fault.

i know someone who can knee cap him fer a tenner?

lou stay strong hon. As others have said, don't let him bully you. Am very angry on your behalf. just keep remembering what he has put you through. don't waver. remember all the stuff you told me?

am here for you anytime of day or night, you know that

{{{}}}

Sounds like he is getting his legal advice in the pub.

he hasnt had a drink in 2 weeks he says

i dont have any more energy, i used it all up getting him to leave, and i am so ill today i can barely move

((( Lou )))

Dont give in xxxxxxxx

Don't give up Lou...

Don't know what to say, lou - he's playing mind games and not thinking of what's best for the children.

Call his bluff, I bet he won't go.

And if he does go then that's his problem, he'll be the bad guy in the children eyes for deserting them.

Lou please don't leave your children with him if he has a drink problem. Please.

God Lou, so sorry to read all this. You know where I am if I can do ANYTHING XXXxxx

I'm going to have a huge row with him later when i get home, i can feel it brewing

But i feel a lot stronger mentally now i am better physically, and there is no way he is going to make me leave. He seems to have changed his mind anyway, and told me today he is going to bangkok for 5 months instead.

Good for you, lou. Really glad you're feeling stronger.

Does DH not work?

God Lou, what a headfuck. Is he just playing games with you.
Still cant believe you are going through this.

hey lou

don't let him get to you. bangkok for 5 months - well you just tell him that when he's done with that you are coming to phuket for 5 months (god can you imagine, i'd never get any work done!!!)

Hugs lou