After 17 years we have called it a day

[lou33]

My h is moving out tomorrow, we have just told the kids. It was decided when i was in Thailand, and i only got back on friday night.

I guess old timers will remember that we have been having trouble for a while, but we kept trying. We can't try anymore however, so have decided to end it. We havent really shouted at each other, it's all been v civil, and i hope we can carry on being like that.

Has anyone been able to separate and keep it nice?

I meant i am sending the kids back to school tomorrow

God lou that sounds tough Do you think you could ask dh to stop texting etc just until you get settled.There is always an overwhelming sadness at the beginning of a breakup which can lead to reconciliations in haste which is worse IMO.Give it time so that you get a chance to really see how you feel about him .Do you have people close by to help you out?

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Hi noddy, the thing is he is so distraught, i feel if i ask him not to be in touch for a bit it will break him even more. I don't want to make him feel like i am cutting all contact with him, and he is back in about 10 days to see the kids before he goes away, so i'd rather we didnt have anything to argue about. And i sort of feel like i should take any anger he has for me, as i am the one saying no to another try.

I feel for him terribly, it would be so easy for me to say lets start again, but it would be for the wrong reasons.

My sister is in the next village, but not really around to help. In fact i think this is the first time i will be seeing her since the summer! I have a friend coming round later, and he is going to take me to get some cash from an atm, but he has his own troubles right now.My brother lives miles and miles away, i havent seen him for a few years. We are not close in terms of get togethers, lol

RnB, after 1 probably, i have to take ds2 for an induction afternoon at his soon to be school, from 11 until 12, then go to the PO.

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I hoped this wasnt you when i read the thread title Lou. I dont know the ins and outs but at least if you do it this way and end things before they go too far and you end up hating each other it must be better.

Cannot imagine how you, your H or your kids must be feeling Keep your chin up and stay strong, you have done the right thing x

Well the plus side of this, is that my tesco shop was £20 less this week.

Love you Lou!

Sorry to hear your news Lou. Ex-H and I are civil to each other most of the time, although it is a major effort for me. We had his affair to contend with, so it was different from your own situation.
I think that the division of assets is always a bone of contention, but if you can get through that then you probably stand as good a chance as anyone.
Good luck to you. Be kind to yourself, it will be tough for a while.

lou, I'm sorry to hear about this, and wish you lots of strength, xxx

thanks everyone

i love you too sunny, remind me where in the states you are again? And are you planning on coming over at all?

bundle i thought about your dd when i was back in thailand

oh my God. I've been thinking about you for ages and ages and kept meaning to email you and then my email died and I lost all my old emial addresses. And then I saw this and happened to click on it and just gutted and gobsmacked and so so sorry that it's you. Oh lou
I know you said about 'stuff' in our last email to each other, but... well I guess I just didn't ever think it would really happen. Oh babes, so sorry.
Will you email me, if you want to, so I have your address again and we can chat more then.
Thinking of you and very much hoping you're ok.
TC xx

I'll do it now babe, but through cat, i dont have all my email addresses available atm.

Cool. I'd have done that earlier but didn't think you were on mumsnet again.

lou, I often think of her little picture for the tsunami people too..how was today, girl?

Lou, I am in Longwood, FL, just north of Disneyworld. aread1 @ cfl.rr.com if you want to talk about anything. We are not coming this year, we are sending DD on a trip, I have a fundraising thread on it going for days nowpublishing a cookbook to raise some funds to send her. I am sorry about everythingI think of you often.

that email seems wrong sunny, it wont send.

today was ok, i feel ok, kids have been cranky but on the whole, ok

Tc, i am not really, i just came on for this

Lou I've just found this thread, so sorry.

lou, I had missed this (and indeed you ). I'm so sorry.

Lou, just wanted to check you got my message earlier? Hope you're doing ok xxx

Oh lou, I'm really sorry to see this.

I was just wondering about you the other day and how strange it seemed to not see your name on here, making sure we all behaved ourselves
I sorry to see your name like this.

(I was emmatmg btw)

Lou try, [email protected] then.