After 17 years we have called it a day

[lou33]

My h is moving out tomorrow, we have just told the kids. It was decided when i was in Thailand, and i only got back on friday night.

I guess old timers will remember that we have been having trouble for a while, but we kept trying. We can't try anymore however, so have decided to end it. We havent really shouted at each other, it's all been v civil, and i hope we can carry on being like that.

Has anyone been able to separate and keep it nice?

So sorry this has happend Lou. Hugs to you all

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Sorry to hear this Lou, I remember your earlier threads.

When your children are older and understand more you will have so much respect from them for trying so hard, as you have form us on here.

I feel v positive today

H got drunk all evening last night, and was when the kids spoke to him, which made me cross. Then he got cross after he hung up and started sending drunk messages, and then calls, which i wouldnt reply to, so he did the same to a friend of ours who he knew i was with at that time.

Then later in the evening he started calling the landline, which i had to answer in case it woke the kids (it was 11.30). I just told him i am not going to speak to him when he is drunk, ignored his protests of sobriety, and hung up.

For the first time i didnt feel guilty, and also made me realise i am doing the right thing. Life will be good soon enough.

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He called today when sober, and tried to say i had misunderstood him, but as this is what he always says when he drinks i really wasnt having any of it, and told him i am never going to speak to him again when he is drunk. He agreed not to call again when he was, which is good.

I am so glad you are having a good day with this Lou, I got your email--will respond later on then. Thinking of you.

Thanks, i am feeling upbeat, despite my kids trying their best to grind me down over mince pies!

I am making mincemeat tarts tonight!

lou, I read this earlier today but couldn't post as I was at work. You and your family are in my thoughts. I do hope you get driving asap - it will really empower you. I will cross my fingers you pass that test first time. I hope you are not feeling too jet lagged after Thailand and have some peaceful times in the day to recover your balance a bit when the children are at school.

(Winnie, if you are reading this, very sorry you are going through a similar situation)

Thanks Tigermoth.

thanks tigermoth

winnie, you too?

I'm sorry

Just seen this lou, and am really admiring of your courage in calling it a day. I hope life is better for you, the kids and your h afterwards and that you do manage to keep this civil.

thank you milge

no drunken phone calls last night,which was good, and he called them at teatime

the kids seem to be coping not too badly, apart from the odd bout of tears, and i have sorted help for the morning school run, so i only have to go out for the pick up.

i had a phone call from ds2's nursery yesterday as well, offering to collect and drop him to nursery as from next week, which is lovely of them, and they are also collecting me tomorrow so i can attend his statement review

glad things are getting a wee bit better lou xx

Thanks!

I am realising how depressed i was now, and can feel it lifting slightly. My house is benefitting from all the housework i just didn't have the energy to do before

sounds like you're Getting Sorted

i hope so

Lou you sound great Keep going things will work out.Glad schools etc rallying round

Have only just seen this Lou, am so sorry hun.

Have emailed you xxx

well i am doing ok, h has been up and down but we are still being friendly

he is coming to see the kids on weds on his way somewhere else, and will stop in again on his way back, where he has offered to watch them for a few days to give me a break, so i am off to see spacedonkey

Oh, Lou. Only just seen this. So very sorry things hve turned out this way. I really hope though that you are happier and enjoy your freedom. You are being incredibly strong and brave. Please keep coming on here, you know how fab MN is for support and you have been much missed in recent months. xxxx

my h was here yesterday overnight, to see the kids while he was on his way somewhere else, it was ok but he is v sad

he is coming back her late sat night/sunday morning as ds1 is 7 on sunday, and on tuesday i am going away for a few nights to see spacedonkey, so he is going to stay until i come back

i have told him that he must not think its all v cosy and get the kids thinking that he is going to stay for good. I deliberated not taking him up on the offer of a few days away, as i wonder if it is too soon for him to come back , in case the kids misunderstand, but i dont know when the next break will be, so i am taking the risk. I'm just worried it means the kids are upset all over again when he goes back to cornwall

lou I have only just seen this.
so sorry to hear about what has happened. No words of experience to offer but you have so much support on here, keep posting to us if it is helping you, and well done on being so positive and optimistic.