Dumpling no more? Only the strong survive and we did no. 4

[IfYoureHappyAndYouKnowIt]

At first I was afraid, I was petrified
Kept thinkin' I could never live without him by my side;
But then I spent so many nights
Thinkin' how you did me wrong
And I grew strong

This thread is for ex dumplings. Any dumpling that feels like she has "mostly" moved past crisis into an "almost" sorted state can post and chat here as we continue our quest for serenity with a lot of laughs along the way and support

And hello Partytime good to see you on here. Your destiny is in your hands now lovely lady. If you want a career, you can have one. Us dumplings are very go getting (in between understandable wobbles) and very strong :)

Hmm, wankery texts in the air! I also got one from xh after nada since incident of banging down phone & he's done zilch to resolve things with dd! Text said "1 garage sick so won't do much with them" wtf!! I text back was he still going to dd's show tomorrow night. Reply was "no". I didn't bother replying to that but was so bloody angry, worse I had bought his ticket so am now £25 out of pocket too! Out of principle I'm still going to ask for it tomorrow. Also got text later from him saying "I presume you have now done xyz as per court agreement in financial separation agreement". Likewise I didn't reply to this but obviously the f*** is spoiling for a fight atm & looking for a victim to lash it out on!! Am so fed up & sick to bloody death of trying to dealing with him.

DD had rehersals near a primark store & so I'd promised her she could go in after & get a few bits for summer. Got loads of fab stuff for dc's & then bought 6 inch gold shoes for myself that are completely impractical & I've no where to wear them to but decided f**k it I'm having them

Goo, huge congrads on your new position . Who would have thought your boss would have done such a turn about. Bet you'll miss her now when she's gone

Party, good to see you back & ggggggrrrrrrrr at your xh's sob story & holiday!!

Tea, hopefully you are in the land of slumber now after such an early start.

Patience, glad you got trampoline sorted

Sov, yes, well done on the maths . I too have my dc's pretty much 24/7 & like you think the practicalities of a relationship would be hard to juggle!!

On that subject, I went onto the dating site this morning & had three different date requests!! One from Toyboy (he doesn't give up does he?? ). None of them inspired me to muster up the enthuasism.

Oh Starting - yet another narc / tossbag / wally. Angry for you. And yes, ask for the ticket money!!!!
Hey, you need big hair love to go with those shoes! I'm going to practise big hair next weekend when I've got some time. Aiming for Charlie's Angels. Will probably look more like Charlie's Mam but I don't give a shit!

Three requests! Wow! I can't muster up the enthusiasm to pay for Guardian site anymore, which I think is a good sign cos I'm no longer desperate for a relationship :)
First man on there who "liked" me was from Iran. You're having a laugh eh? There's long distance, then there's Iran to Northumberland! Bless him. Good taste in women though, these Iranians

Lol Goo . You've just reminded me of the babyliss big hair dryer I bought two wks ago, will aim to practice during easter holls & indeed combine results with my new shoes even if it's only to the supermarket . I do indeed intend to ask for the money but I have a feeling xh is just waiting to kick off.

Lol again Goo, this long distance Iranian thing could be good practice material though . Equally I haven't the enthuasism to go on the paid sites anymore, the responses were from another friend (men pay )

Starting for the first time ever I just dont give a fuck anymore.

Quite liberating.

That's the thing I was thinkig of buying with some vouchers I've got. What is it Starting? A hairdryer with a big head that turns automatically? If you see what I mean...I'm making it sound like a sex aid :)

x post P
Yes it is - very liberating. I feel more and more like that too. Just happy getting on with things in my own world with no bloke to think about. Building self esteem is great

I think this may be indifference ,not bitter ,not malicious just tired and a bit bored with it all tbh.

Hi Goo, yes a sex aid might have been a more benefical purchase . Anyhow, here's the big hair

Patience, yes, normally I don't give a fuck anymore either but just a bit fed up of it all atm.........

That's it starting,when I listened to his voicemail I just thought , am I really still having to listen to this dross,just gets wearing now.couldn't care less which way it goes.

One week of no contact has done me the power of good .

Evening all.

Congrats on the job Goo.

My hair is too short for the Big Hair thing but did buy argan oil thus week as per S&B recommendations and tried today. Seems very good so far.

DS2 had a lovely love bitei noticed this am. Much discussion of need for turtle neck jumpers this am..

Morning all

Yes congrats goo , funny she did appreciate you all this time it would seem ! Head of English..very grown up

Starting what a weirdo your xh is and whats garage sick, does that mean his car isnt working ? Those new shoes will be handy for mowing the lawn in now that season has begun again

Happy how did cake off go ? Is argan oil that morrocan hair oil stuff ? My hairdresser used it on me and Ive asked her to get me some.

Sov I am just finishing Level 2 this week and will find out if they think I am up to the GCSE course [doubtful emoticon]

Funny you popping up Partytime and mentioning being directionless as I was talking about that very thing yesterday and about how I did a life coaching weekend this time last year. It was a brilliant and gave me a huge boost in confidence which has stayed with me but as to proper direction..For me rediscovering my self belief was a good start though ! Good luck with it and keep us posted as I would be love to hear how a fellow drifter is getting on !

I am back to fabulousity after those 3 days of turmoil last week tg.

I am feeling in my bones how this move can be a whole new start for so many things if I want it to be and I do. Am doing a massive clearout as I go which feels really cathartic and seeing that my new home will be mine to do as I please with no male in sight. I drove through the area I first moved to in London when I left home in 1986 yesterday and realised that I havent lived alone with a free rein since moving in with a boyfriend a year after that

Had a fab day with a lovely friend yesterday just chatting and doing bits and then went to see Limitless which was ok but not my normal type of film. Have recently got heavily into seeing films cold apart from checking they arent obviously not my thing.

Today just slobbing in bed then off to a BBQ at a friends and then walking in a country park , bliss.

Just had a quick crash around on a couple of threads and was reading the one about custody and how often 50 50 is the norm now. I know XH would like that and it was guilt and a sense that the dc wouldnt have wanted it that stopped him pursuing it . I am so grateful for that and the fact he is actually solid and supportive of my bringing up of the dc, sometimes I am too fond of focusing on his bad points.

Actually that whole thread - see a solicitor , go to the CAB try and do xyz with him- has made me appreciate that I am at the finish line of that journey . Once I move and the divorce comes through, which will be in around 4 months time I am told, I will be 100% free.

On top of which I have come to terms with my dc living with ow 3 days in 14 , going on holiday with her etc etc.

What a lovely realisation that I am indeed a dumpling no more

Ooo, Getting, you sound very empowered.

We will have to start you a new thread..once a dumpling but sooo long ago

Starting, I am confused about the garage thing....

Hair thing is like moroccan oil. Bit confused but think that moroccan oil is mostly argan oil. Seems fab so far, need only a teeny bit.

Getting and Tea, have pmed you.

Happy - do you have curly hair? On a bit of a hair thing today...!
Thank Starting for the link to the hair website. Think I might need waving tongs, actually, if I blow dry hair straight, then curl it again. I know that sounds daft but I want soft curls dahling, soft curls! Not the head of wire wool I've got now!

Hair not curly.

Found that argan oil made hair silkyer and made highlights more visible (hair has to be dyed as I am an old lady).

Goo my hairs like that , soft wire wool though not a brillo pad

Yes Happy ! Read that post back and thought oh god does that sound smug ? Just remember that this began 10th October 2009 for me so it hasnt been a 5 minute job arriving at this point by any means and I have worked hard at helping myself too

Spooky, I threw XH out on around that date. You must be a fire sign!

Morn all.

Happy, where does one purchase Argan oil?? I too had been meaning to get this before but it slipped my mind . Health food shops only if I remember correctly.

Getting/Happy, yes on the text front xh was being a dick & saying 'drop dc's to local garage at 1 today' (pick up point we normally use) & informing me that as he was sick he wouldn't be able to do much with them!! Tbh I'm more angry about him canceling the show tonight without a second thought or apology for ticket I'd purchased for him . Surly if he's well enough to have dc's for an hr or two today then he's well enough to sit on his arse tonight & watch dd!!!

Hmm, too right Starting.

Buy from internet for cheapest I think. Mine was in foreign chemist.