Dumpling no more? Only the strong survive and we did no. 4

[IfYoureHappyAndYouKnowIt]

At first I was afraid, I was petrified
Kept thinkin' I could never live without him by my side;
But then I spent so many nights
Thinkin' how you did me wrong
And I grew strong

This thread is for ex dumplings. Any dumpling that feels like she has "mostly" moved past crisis into an "almost" sorted state can post and chat here as we continue our quest for serenity with a lot of laughs along the way and support

What is up with the bold

thanks happy ,will be careful,
well done Starting on the free childcare service ,
Just finished listening to the homecoming download.
All been quite emotional tbh but seeing my kids differently now,i always was laid back about things but to the uneducated this freedom will appear like "letting the kids run riot " but fuck em ,important not to squash their spirit.

Just think its sad that in this day and age all parents arent educated or supported in the positives and importance of calm patient parenting .
I wonder how many mothers/fathers actually have a support network in RL.

Pmsl at that last post,missed ur 2 at top of the page Starting

Sighs
Tossbag phone call tonight "what's happening with the girls this week?" first time I had heard from him re: Easter and half term childcare

Nothing, I reply...as they are still in school till Friday "Are you sure?" he says...well, yes I think so...I didn't drop them off at an empty school and go on my merry way this morning did I? (arrggghh)

He then tries to regain his position by asking me about this Sunday. I asked what he meant (as he has the girls) oh, he says smugly I thought you MIGHT want to see YOUR girls on Easter Sunday??

Once again, told him I would be seeing them as I have them the whole following weekend when it is (in fact) Easter Sunday. FFS - he was actually arguing the point with me. Told him to call back to make arrangements when he can use a fucking diary.

I know its a silly thing to get cross about - but he did not ask how I was sorting out 2 weeks childcare while I was in work...of course not, as my job comes secondary to his. And he doesn't have to know when Easter or half term is because I SORT things like that out.

Just like I did for 13 years!!

After hanging up, I actually thought - Thank God I don't have to put up with his non interest and minimal effort in what goes on in the world (as it revolves around him) any more.

Oh well the abusive messages have started .

Kate they really are arseholes eh?

Wonders how many kids starting has now

Argan oil cool but my hair is wild so I've used loads ,obviously much more interesting experimenting than listening to an arse calling me a c* on a voicemail.

Part of the inner child stuff is to act like u did as a child,so I have been making an effort to play football and stuff.when u score a goal u have to

":Run around daft and show ur tummy "

Also was the only mother playing at the 4 and 5
yo footie today.good fun x

Just a quick fly by. I'm busy packing for bonny Scotland. So I'll probably not get on here much until I'm back. I'll miss not checking in with you all until back. Unless FIL can give me the key to his broadband if it's wifi, then I could check in from my phone

Have a good time Tea! And a rest I hope

Just fly by here visit too

Trampoline is here and huge success!
Holidays here now.

Kids very tired - me too - DS caught me having 40 winks today!
Interview tomorrow! Feel fine about it.

No op date yet

Starting - cant believe him - but sadly I can! Money for when he wants it and Father of the Year in the paper -I ask you! !!

Googs sorry the detaching stll hard!

Patience - like your style on the man front!

have to get some argon - sounds good

Bed beckons - night night road to sortedness ladies!

Hi everyone!
Been to show tonight at my school. My mum and dad came too and brought the kids. It was great - really enjoyed my mum and dad seeing my classroom as well cos it's lush :)
Really weird about argon - my mum just back from Morocco and she brought back some pure argon oil cos they only produce it there and some argon pieces - they look like almonds. Weird coincidence eh?
Patience - abusive texts again for you but I know you are completely detached :) Told you that when summer comes you will become ever more irresistable to opposite sex!
Tea - have a great time love x
Starting - haha! Sounds like me re loads of kids! I do all that too!!! Had a good chuckle at heels and fishwife. I lean out of my window shouting "BOYS, NOOOO!!!" sometimes, when I realise with horror that they're about to do something highly dangerous. Best way!
Hi Mumfun - about to buy a trampoline myself - it's the way forward for single mums everywhere!
Patience - inner child is good. I was dancing to "Dashing White Sergeant" dance tonight with my two at the side of the stage, as kids from my school were doing it. One of the nuns leaned forwards and said "Are those your children dear? You should be very proud - well done and keep going". What a lovely thing to say eh?

Waves to mf good luck tomorrow x

Patience, when I read your post of 16.41 I wondered briefly was it a p*ss take on my child caring abilities i.e. running accross green in 6 inch heels screaming like a lunatic was much relieved to read your subsequent post All strays & extra children departed the premises & just back from college!

Must be something in the air as on the way home I found text from xh telling me he was bringing me back to circuit court to sort out his parental rights (ffs) & what days were dc's free this wk!! Give me patience!! Text back saying "what days would you like to have dc's?" Have now established he's taking them swimming thurs & beach on sun. I am so bloody exasperated dealing with him atm (his inner child is ruling the fu*king roost & I'm getting v fed up of being reasonable parent!!)

Kate, it is so exasperating when they are like that

Tea, hope you have a fantastic break away & that all goes well with in-laws. Would be nice if you manage to access wifi. A friend at college gave me a brief tutorial on the workings of wifi tonight so thing I may soon master the art of logging on from my phone

x post Mumfun, wishing you the very best of luck for tomorrow

Goo, yes I do the hanging out the window too . Have trampoline in back garden but unfortunately mine are more into bikes, scooters & flickers atm which all have to be used out the front!! Your night sounds lovely & yes that was a lovely thing for the nun to say . What a coincidence about the Argan oil!!! I will have to purchase too or I'll be the only dumpling with a frizzy unkempt mane!

Waves to googs and Tea
My oil is the lee stafford one so don't know how much oil in the treatment.loads of great products def goin to look after my hair ,been neglected .

Mine too Patience - it actually feels like a fecking bird nest on my heed! Been today before show and bought heat protection stuff and hair finishing serum - going to blow dry it tomorrow night and prepare to look as fabulous as a slightly battered, 38 year old sinlge mam can! :)

Lol. Starting.I just thought I sounded a right smug bitch about parenting skills ha ha.But I guess what I mean mostly. is imagine what my own life would.have been like with patient parents.I just reckon u have much better self esteem in ur youth.

Good luck, Mumfun and congrats to GGM.
Tea, have fun in Scotland.
Hi to everyone else. Trampolines rock. Had my 12 footer for 7 years and had bags of use from it, even had kids sleep the night on it. Just make sure you have the safety net and some tena pads.
Lurking but finding it difficult to post. Just feeling bewildered and confused as it dawns on me that being single is my normal now. I'm a bit worried that I'll grow to like it too much and be on my own forever. Can't decide if that's good or bad.

Goo, I am also a slightly battered 38 year old single mum

Patience, I know what you mean. My life would have been SO much easier if I'd had proper parenting!! I'd have spotted xh a mile away & told him to sling his hook. On the other hand I then wouldn't have my 3 lovely fantastic dc's & I wouldn't be on this lovely rewarding journey of self discovery

ET, sorry you're finding it hard to post atm. Sening you lots of virtual ((Hugs)) & support. The confusion & bewilderment will pass.

Thanks for the hugs, Starting. I don't feel particularly low. Just amazed to think that I might actually be much happier without a partner. I look at my friends' partners and wonder why they put up with so much shit. It's really raised the bar for me. I'll be looking for perfection if I can even lower myself to be arsed to look. I've never felt like this before in my entire life.

Well ET that's you & me both then looking for perfection this time around

Lunches made & ready to go!! P.S. was 10 mins early for school on fri & today lets see if I can maintain it now

Smiling about the hair, my nm is a distance thing, so I always have a few hours to beautify myself. But my hair is in such bad condition because of colouring and straightening that I look wondrous and goddess like at first...but after any type of 'activity' I look like a cross between Russell Brand and Monica in Barbados!

I can actually see the look on the poor mans face when he sees my lovely locks turn into a frizzy explosion! I need some of the miracle cream.

Can I graduate to this thread? Feel sorta dumpling no more today. Back with NM today, DD got into school of choice today, even if she did come come unexpectedly with friend at 9pm and shout outside door - why are you in bed - you're not having s.x?? Mite of hope on H's settlement. DS1 back from uni yesterday, ds2 sulking (well who can blame him poor lamb?). Anyway can I graduate to you lovely brave ladies?

Well I was knackered and early to bed, hence missing all of the lovely chat. And now I am awake!

Of course you can graduate to this thread. The only prerequisite appears to be....a trampoline and some argan oil. I'm working on the trampoline .

Ok for the first time in yrs left the house without straightening my hair this morning.looks better already thanks to the oil.

Just to add the lovely thing about that book is it isn't about blame just awareness.let's u accept a lot of what was said and done was bullshit but allows u to move on a realise emotional support u may have been looking for actually isn't there so ur looking in the wrong place and stop wasting ur time looking for something that was never there in the first place.great if u had it but if u didnt ,just keep moving forward because it is so important to be seperate emotionally from ur parents.
I liken their parenting to someone driving a car without any lessons.lots of crashes,anger and its all someone else's fault.
Anyway love the book lots to work on ,lots of food for thought.
Waves to everyone ,more football and more phonecalls from unknown number this morning at least no abusive messages though x

Mymy, welcome aboard, more the merrier

Kate, in the good ol days of Norm I used to have this prob too!! Sadly my locks remain intact now.....................sob, sob, enjoy the hair tangling

Waves to Happy

Well Patience congrads on completing the attachment stage of development!! Any chance you'd do my assignments if I forwarded them on to you??

Well dd reminded me this morn that dc's have a party thurs aft & so could not go swimming with xh!! Text him to explain same & got reply saying "no I want to see the kids" I mean WTF. After a series of deep breathing excercises I text back fine you can have them this aft but please make sure homework is done, dd dropped to dancing at 5.30 & collected at 7 or you can have them thurs aft & bring to party at 6, you have to stay with other parents till it's finished at 8. Let me know what suits . Got text back saying "Sun". Fuckwit.............was so distracted from dealing with dihead that I arrived at school at 2.30 to collect dd & forgot she had training today so off again for 4th trip to the school today!!