Dumpling no more? Only the strong survive and we did no. 4

[IfYoureHappyAndYouKnowIt]

At first I was afraid, I was petrified
Kept thinkin' I could never live without him by my side;
But then I spent so many nights
Thinkin' how you did me wrong
And I grew strong

This thread is for ex dumplings. Any dumpling that feels like she has "mostly" moved past crisis into an "almost" sorted state can post and chat here as we continue our quest for serenity with a lot of laughs along the way and support

Hey all and welcome to newbies!! Having a much better week even tho dc are both playing up/not staying in bed tonight. I'm assuming everyone's okayish lol seeing as it's quiet?? Thoughts with any of you having a rough time xx

Didn't want to post too many details on fb but had some news about x's antic since we split. I knew he had another dd conceived prior to the split, and that he was having similar contact to that with my dc. I didn't know that the baby was removed by ss after x and ow were caught in the hospital toilets not long after the birth using hard drugs, and that he'd been basically pimping her out through pg to fund their habit. poor baby xx Think dc & I had a very lucky escape.....

The legal guardian for the baby is also our cafcass officer and i have received a copy of the report she's submitted to court for the next hearing. She praises me no end :) and states quite a few home truths facts that have been comforting to read, like proof in writing that he is a twunt!!

Ony 11 days til court then NO MORE HEARINGS FOR 6 MONTHS!!!! OMG, there hae been 6 in the last year and this will hopefully be a break from the rollercoaster in btween each one.

I don't know how any of you do it dealing directly with the idiots exes. I am lucky, he can't communicate with me in any way thank feck :) My hat's off to you ladies who have to see them on a regular basis.

Ok, I've got some serious catching up to do with dumplings new and old. Real life has seriously got in the way. Have only scanned the last couple of pages and see that Mumfun mentions a Midlands meet-up? Count me in, if that's the case as I'm in Brum.
For any newbies, I've been a dumpling for 12 months after I discovered my XP was having an affair for the last 2.5 years of our 14 year relationship. She was a family friend, introduced to me and 3 dc only after the affair started. They denied the affair was sexual and tortured me and her H for months before the full truth came out. I kicked XP out 3 hours after initial discovery and he has lived alone since.
6 weeks ago I started to date the Tattooed Builder (complete departure from my normal type) and I'm having the time of my life .
As confidently predicted by WWIFN and others, XP is now distraught and wants to come home. He knows about TB and is devastated to the point where I am actually feeling sorry for him. I am now steeling myself as I can see he is working up to begging mode and the launch of a major charm offensive which will be closely followed by some pretty vile behaviour when he realises it won't work.
And the moral of this sorry saga? Karma , although I don't feel in the slightest bit smug. I've even advised him to get back with OW as it's the best offer he's going to get and I really mean it.
Love and good vibes to all dumplings x

Patience, I haven't forgotten you .

Lovely to see you back ET and bringing us up to date with your life, so pleased your life is going well and you have a new man. And also like to think that Karma does happen, I wait for that day still.

So it got to Thursday and NM got in contact, 10 days after saying he couldn't go on seeing me, various reasons, all of which I can understand, complicated divorce one of them.

We've spent the last 2 days making up

Maybe I'm having a daft moment and I'll come to my senses or maybe I like the excitement of it all or maybe I do love him. I know I missed him an awful lot as he did me.

Aren't new relationships complicated?

Thats good news PT, please it all seems to be working out.

hi everyone. just marking my place :)

Had the best weekend since all this shite started LOL
Out at a fab party last nite ,kids and dog all on the dance floor
HARDCORE U KNOW THE SCORE

Hey ladies. Am still lurking about sending hugs to all. Decree Absolue through Thursday night. Haven't told kids yet....

been away for 7 days. Unpacking and shattered. Will try and catch up with the chat in the next few days.

Hi all. V busy. Lurking. Waves to all.

Aw Mym be kind to yourself.THink of something to do that day - have someone lovely with you

Hi to all

Major medical stuff today -still on major antibiotics from last one.

Busy busy busy. Small business picking up and keeping me occupied.

Planning out the summer.

Starting to think H has a screw loose - honestly.

Some challenges with kids but generally ok

Hi again all

Well, as suspected my tests were all clear so god knows what that was all about. Wanker.

Had a very busy week last week with a few dates, all have come to nothing despite getting on well with and a second date with one of them... now been given the brush off til 'after next week' claiming he is busy.... have left the ball in his court, I'm certainly not doing any chasing.

Overall feel much better, still have the odd pang, and have to force myself to think about other things... but getting there :)

Gutted at reading about WWIFN leaving mumsnet She's been a huge help to me and to others on here

It's very quiet on here, lots of traffic on the fb dumpling group.

How is everyone? Happy, Elsie?

That sounds absolutely horrid Someday! I hope that he is in no way part of your life anymore.

Good to hear that some of us are getting some action ET and PT!

With the summer it would be soooo nice to have a normal relationship with someone. Or at least very good sex ;)

I was away all week for work and DC are playing up a bit. I am trying to get a bank loan to pay off all the CC debt X left me with and realised that it will take me at least five years to pay it back. Makes me bloody angry to think about all the things we have to give up because of him. But still, now I am just starting to understand how much energy I spent in always doubting everything he said and generally holding it all together.

I love reading so count me in the bookclub. I am not sure about the FB group though, slightly afraid of revealing too much personal stuff and don't want to bump to anyone I know in RL...

Know what you mean. I'm still paying back a joint loan from ExH and I for at least 3 more years

Just saw another thread on online games, I forgot to mention here that I lost X to WoW about five years ago and that was the beginning of most of our troubles. We were together for 14 years, what a bloody waste. DC1 said today "mummy, you are so young, aren't you. You don't even have a beard yet". They spent the week with granny and grandpa who alarmingly both have facial hair...

LOL at beard. Kinda a compliment from your child though. LOL

Hi everyone - lurking - feeling ok - horrible Fathers day and having to buy DD a present to give the soon to be EX h. Bottle of Baileys - felt like hitting him on the head with it. Filed for divorce - he insists that he is taking me to court because i am coaching DD into not wanting to sleep over at his house- even though his parents - who stayed with me for 10 days recently told him that wasn't true.

Going to try some retail therapy soon.

Feeling stronger!

Dev

Waves to Dev and America,
Dev hope he changes the record soon x

Hello

I have been awol for a variety of reasons but thought I would nip in and post even though the threads a bit of a ghost ship these days . I dont have FB so wont be able to join in with that

Well we are fully settled into our new house and everything thats going to be done for now is done. Its wonderful after the months of wondering where we would be,would everything work out , would we ever find a house etc etc its all in the past

Both DC are very happy and all the walking to school and little routines they have are still intact, in fact its slightly better here for them

In truth I havent been rejoicing thats its just my place/fresh start etc more that the upheaval is over and I know where I am at and there are no big decisons to be made or fights to be had.

My learndirect courses are all finished which is great and I am so pleased I made the effort and it gave me exterior focus during a turbulent time

No surprises though that this past couple of weeks now everything is over I have had a few wobbles about whats next in terms of I need to get a job and just what I am going to do with my life. I am aware this is a real crossroads for me and at 45yo its not too late to think about doing something I enjoy rather than just looking for a wage iyswim

Things with xh are fine in as much there is very little need for contact as contact continues to just run itself really. DD still isnt fully happy and I know they have their ups and downs but its partly her age and I ahve come to the conclusion that she hasnt really forgiven him but perhaps will in time.

I am still flirtless/manless etc but feel fine about that although I wonder if by autumn which will be 2 years since the dramas began I might be ready to let some tosser man into my life

Its just over a year since I joined MN and this thread and cant believe how far I have come with everything. All those who are relatively new to it all take heart it really does get easier !

Anyway I hope everyone is ok particularly vet dumplings like Happy,Pink,Tea,Starting,Mumfun,Sov to name but a few

All good here glad life is treating u well ,keep on keeping on !!!!!

Getting, it's lovely to read your post and that you are settled in your new home.

I look forward to reaching that place, where all the drama and turmoil is over, even though I guess wobbles now and again are to be expected.

Like you I'm at a crossroads, similar age, well 46, wondering where to live, what to do for a job, wondering what to do with my life.

As for a new bloke, well the one I've been seeing for a year has just dumped me, so I suppose I'm a dumpling again. I sometimes wonder if that's it, not many available men round here but at least I've learnt that good men do exist.

Best of luck to you and to me and all others on here still dealing with the fallout. It really does get better and the party times can begin again x

Hi all

Just popped in to say hello

Nothing changes here - the ups and the downs continue!

Am continuing to try to enjoy myself. Going a bit boho... Am going to a festival next week with another dumpling! really looking forward to it.

Waves to all. Sorry to hear about BF Partytime..... x