Dumpling no more? Only the strong survive and we did no. 4

[IfYoureHappyAndYouKnowIt]

At first I was afraid, I was petrified
Kept thinkin' I could never live without him by my side;
But then I spent so many nights
Thinkin' how you did me wrong
And I grew strong

This thread is for ex dumplings. Any dumpling that feels like she has "mostly" moved past crisis into an "almost" sorted state can post and chat here as we continue our quest for serenity with a lot of laughs along the way and support

Hi

Just popping in. Very busy end of term. THinking of you all even if not very good at posting:)

Was pointed to these shorts on another forum and thought some of you would appreciate them. Made by a lady whose lovely H had an affair and left here and she has used these to work through it. Batshitcrazy -love them !

www.youtube.com/user/moonlocks#p/u

Hi guys - everyone's gone?
Have you all migrated to facebook or just too busy?

Hi Some on FB inc me as its a totally private group it feels safer. Some too busy. Some concentrating on RL. Hope youre ok!

Just a quick update .X texted me out of the blue tonight ,midnight to ask if kids could meet 21yo gf 2morrow.What a prick!!!I am strangely unmoved by this ,he said it doesn't matter what I think because I don't need to know who they meet or what they do when he has them.LOL arrogant twat.so I can't prepare my kids ,he won't tell me anything else about what he has planned.he has seen them for 3hrs in the last month and needless to say maintenance is sporadic.its his car crash ,just wish my kids didn't have to be involved.the6 have survived nearly 2 years of his opt out fatherhood but hey ,they are wise kids.he started off saying I was a good mum then just like old times I was all the fuckers under the sun.apparently she's a huge part of his life and I just need to accept that lmfao.eh yeah we know that ,it was u that lied to me about her denying it u TWAT .
Oh well lets see if he even turns up 2morrow eh?
All I ever asked for was child maintenance and regular visits ,he hasn't done either.
But indifference is bliss xxxxxx

Hello everyone,
Just sticking my head in again to see how you're all doing. My computer has been on the blink on and off and am just back from my hols in France. We had a great time, just me and the 3 boys. No major hitches and an easy caravan holiday park. i was worried a bit about being around happy families and feeling like a spare part but in fact, i let all that go and just enjoyed the good weather. Couples were friendly enough tho i felt a bit 'stared at and wondered about' at times. I came home a bit knackered as we did a lot and kids and me were late in bed most nights but all in all i would do it again anytime. I came home to a big pile of brown envelopes and no money for a long time but such is life. Ds 1 goes to Canada with his dad in 2 days. I'm focusing on the positives as much as i can but i will miss him so much. he has been so chatty and chirpy since school finished.
Patience How wearying for you but your indifference is the only way forward.
Happy enjoy the concert, i'm envious
Hello mumfun and mymy and everyone else.

Did x bring gf, Patience? Indifference is good but I hope he didn't spring that on kids. My x told the kids last weekend he has a girlfriend (dur has been living with her for 18 months though told court she was just one of a group of friends) and wants them to meet her. DD said: "Oh, is her name Jane by any chance?" He didn't answer.
Glad you enjoyed the holiday, Maybe. We did that last year (friend was in hospital & just GAVE us their unused holiday wow - better now). What struck me was how luxurious the French caravans were compared to here. Like little cottages. Loads of late roving teens though whom my kids were too cool to talk to.

This had dropped off my active list! So

Hi, Glad I've found this thread again.

I was on here just before Christmas (2010) with my post 'Husband on Online Dating Chat Sites' with a different user name ; wherecani...

Googoomama, firepile, gettingeasier, Binfullofmaggotsonthe45, teaandcakesplease, and IfYourHappyAndYouKnowIt are just some of the lovely ladies who helped me enormously. I don't know what I'd have done without your support.

Hope everyone is doing ok

Wow, it looks like while I was away on holiday everyone else disappeared here?

I have now officially abandoned all hope of me and X getting back together. I really needed him to pay us something, anything, and told him so. I also needed him to take his holiday in July/August when the nursery is closed to help with DC. He told me that he could take extra pay by not taking his annual leave this summer and that he would do so. Well, I really needed him to look after DC during the holiday but as this was the first time he actually suggested anything practical, I said yes. Now, two weeks later I am still waiting for the money. I also ended up harassing all my friends/family/grandparents etc. to look after DC while I work and it is a logistical nightmare. So no money, no help with the kids. This summarizes my past relationship with him pretty well. I suppose he is in a new relationship but too coward to admit.

I'd honestly get the CSA involved. Ring child maintenance options and take it from there. Are you getting all the help you're eligible for? Such as tax credits, healthy start vouchers, single persons council tax discount etc?

It's funny how they disappear off the face of the planet when another woman is involved I'm so sorry.

Thanks TACP. I know I should. My father got really mad when he heard about all the debts X left us with. I just don't want him to run away from DC completely. DC are now starting to play with their imaginary dad and e.g. when I took the car for garage, they told the mechanic that their dad knows all the different car makers and can fix cars :O. So sad.

Well, I have a fairly well paid job and can get by under normal circumstances but just went thru a difficult patch recently. Really, I have to stop counting on him and believing when he promises a transfer/a visit/a postcard for DC. I know that I will always end up disappointed. I should know better by now.

Quick update X did spring gf meet up with kids and this week as I was passing over car seats whose sat in the car but 21yo gf.I just looked her in the eye and said Ru going swimming too good stuff enjoy urselves,
No warning from X she was sat in the passenger seat of the car.No introduction,just same old spineless behaviour.he is twice her age and she is a very young 21 .Ain't nothing I can do except enjoy my life and remain calm and strong .Indifference rocks and well worth working towards ,positivity all the way ,don't let them leave u sad and bitter x

Thought I'd check in, have been wondering how Getting and Starting are doing?

Hi there !

Well not much new to report since my random post a little while ago

Tomorrow we are off on the identical holiday we took on the same week last year.

I was thinking earlier how much has changed in the last 12 months and how all of it , apart from my size , is for the better .

As you know the house move went well and that was quite a big mountain to climb , the DC love it here although I know DS sometimes misses our old house but after all it was his home most of his life and we have been here only 3 months so far.

The divorce is almost through , it will be around mid september all being well

Best of all though is absolute emotional detachment from xh proven only a couple of days ago. We were on the phone talking about DD who is still not really 100% happy when she she stays with him and in the course of this he said to me " I didnt leave you drove me out" . Well that is about as far from the truth as is actually possible to say and I thought gosh xh how awful to have to rewrite the truth to that degree to get through the day !!

Previously the injustice of such a remark from him would have got to me big time but apart from about 3.6 seconds of thinking I want a cig (gave up 5 months ago) that was it .

I have been lurking on a couple of threads and reading posts from women just like me who fought tooth and nail to try and save their long marriages , who tried to become what they thought their H's wanted and compromised to within an inch of their lives to keep everything going.

Its been a long 18 months but now all this time later I am myself and utterly at peace. I havent forgotten those awful gut wrenching months of loss and battered esteem but now I am just trundling along with my DC and enjoying life

So Sov in answer to your question I am doing great

How are you ? How are all other dumplings faring ? Hows the move coming on Partytime ?

No news on the move front Getting. The only news is that I have a new job, start on Monday next week. A proper job with a good salary. Also me and NM (not so new been seeing him 12 months) split up again, for about the 3rd time, this weekend, it has to be it this time, I can't do it again.
Glad things are sorting themselves out for you, I know that feeling of detachment from ex, it's a good one, I need to get there with NM now.