The Archers - What’s your poison? Alice is legless, the fish are lifeless and Pip is clueless (Discussion #85)

[DadDadDad]

Even if you don't have a leg(?), a life or a clue, Welcome to the first ever 85th Archers thread!

Wild speculation and sensible questions always welcome - especially any newcomers.

A little game for the weekend, inspired by Timetogetup0630 and Gruach on the last thread:

Invent an explanation for how your username was the inspiration for an Archers storyline, character, etc - be creative!

My username is telling the story of Toby, Adam and Ian, although it probably needs some punctuation: Dad! Dad/Dad?

dairyfarmerswife - bit too easy for you, but as professional country folk maybe you could judge the winner?

Credit to MrsGrindah for the clever thread title

I am ridiculously chuffed that my title suggestion was chosen! Such an honour. I shall be celebrating down The Bull tonight . Unless they’ve run out of Pinot Grigio that’s to Alice.

Is there a prize for the name competition? May I suggest first prize one litre of Tom's finest keffir; second prize two litres of Tom's finest keffir?

Brilliant thread title!

I wondered that too bash

Obviously I will inspire a future range of Tom Archer side dishes, that no one in the rest of the world ever could think of.

Anyone else wondering how come the Dopeys don't blink at the prospect of spending £200K on the new dairy? Have milk prices really recovered to that extent?

Milk prices are actually on the fall again now, down about 3ppl from the peak. That said, hopefully they are doing, or going to do, budgets to see whether they will be able to meet the loan repayments (it will be borrowed money).

I must have missed something though - last I heard about the Parlour they were going to revamp the old one, not put a new one in. And I was surprised at Ruth's lack of knowledge about a swing over parlour, which is not a particularly new innovation - ours was bought second hand 9 years ago!
I can't believe none of them have seen one here.

I also can't believe they've never seen an open sided NZ style parlour. Surely Ruth would have seen one in NZ? Especially with all the research they did prior to going spring calving - a lot of spring calvers in this country have exactly that type of open sided parlour. And yes, it will be cold in winter BUT the cows are dry in Dec/Jan, so it's not long before the weather improves.

Glamorousgrandmother - I could be Susan or Jennifer.

IF I think about it, I'm surprised there haven't been more Ambridgeites at ag.coll. John was at Brymore, which is a school rather than college, and Helen went to Reeseheath. But they don't seem to have had anyone go to Cirencester or any of the other big colleges, let alone generations following on from their parents. I know lots of farming families where you're expected to do your 3 years of hard drinking and partying (and presumably the odd bit of agriculture, though that doesn't seem to be the main focus,) before taking your place in the succession and waiting decades for your father to quit.

I don't think Emma was in Young Farmers. IME, YFC was more families of farmers and farm managers more than farm labourers, with those running YFC later going on to run the NFU. But it may well vary across clubs and counties (certainly a different demographic of both farmers and Young Farmers in the village where my grandfather had been a hill farmer before retiring, compared with the comparatively more wealthy dairy, pigs, sheep and arable area I grew up in,) and also, it's decades since I was a Young Farmer, and agriculture in general has changed massively since then.

Obviously, my name inspired the Doc Cocke story line where he tipped his hat at both Smugula and Elizabeth and disappointed both. Then was never mentioned by either again.

Did anyone else think Alice’s line of “doing something now that I’ll regret in 40 years time” was a hint? To the drinking maybe?

To squishing Matt?

Now I'm depressed because I'll be dead in 40 years and will never know if my hunch is right.

Wasn't Ruth at an agricultural type of place? (Although they married her off first so she couldn't have any fun ...) And she doesn't really count as she's not an Ambridge native.

I've already pontificated at length about the education of landed and un-landed Ambridge women - I'm wondering if the editorial/SW/BBC agenda will continue into the coming generation. Lily will obviously be granted some out-of-Ambridge higher education, before being dragged back to rescue LL while her bruh is lost in some drug ridden haze on the other side of the world.

Are there any other young women between her and Keira? The Buttons? Lexi's daughters? I can't think of any ...

I think Meriel might be younger than Lily? Perhaps she’ll come to the UK for university and visit her Dad more often.

Also Abbie Tucker, would be interesting to see how she shapes up academically compared to her Aldridge-blooded half sister.

I am the night that Pip conceived.

Now I'm depressed because I'll be dead in 40 years

Well that's Dark, but on the plus side you've just reminded me what I dreamt about last night! I think it was my first actuarial dream, where I was explaining to someone their chances of living to 100, and how the cohort who were born between the world wars have seen improving life expectancy all through their lives, leading... wait, where are you all going... this is interesting...

I’m the first of many cocktails that Lilian will have swigged back during her finagling with Matt.

Choccy - I too think that lexi will already be pregnant. Also, did I get it wrong that Roy seemed surprised that she would be telling everyone that the baby is for Adam/Ian? Was she meant to pass it of as his before abruptly handing it over after the birth

Ruth was at Harper Adams as a slip of a thing when she arrived at Brookfield on a student placement thing and fell in love with Deevid.

I hope Lexi isn't pregnant. That would be so hard on Ian and Adam.

Posting in support of Dad**3

visual.ons.gov.uk/how-has-life-expectancy-changed-over-time/

Remaining life expectancy of male who reached 100 in 2011 was the same as for a male who reached 100 in 1841.

Great thread title. Thanks to MrsG for the title and D3 for setting up the new thread.

My user name? Beatrix is Ben Archer‘s secret girlfriend. The two Bs can often be found in the cereal cupboard after school. Jill has met her but none of the other know about her. Jill often slips an extra piece of lemon drizzle cake when she knows Beatrix is there. But mostly they are out on their bikes. Ben doesn‘t spend nearly as much time in the cupboard now Bea is in his life.

I am what Alice should be drinking after one too many drinks down at the Bull.....

(and a lurker to boot...)

A serious question though.... Brine keeps banging on about how he had no idea the builder was dumping stuff on his land, but didn't I hear that he had given him permission? And therefore the onus is on Brine to KNOW what he had given permission for?

Lexi won't be pregnant. Or if she is, it will be yet another character transplant.

Lexi won’t already be pregnant because if she was they’d have told her instantly at the medical check - she’d have had a prgancy pee test and an intravaginal scan (aka dildocam, as it is known amongst us IVF ers). So she’d have know immediately and we’d have heard I think.

Now reading page 3. Ruth was at Harper Adams. I thought Tom went there too, though at a different time.

I think Brine is saying that he did give permission but didn’t know WHAT was being dumped.

I am a very popular K-pop (Korean) band due to play at the next LoxFest... whereby Ben will escape his cereal cupboard and run off to South Korea to roadie for us...