The Archers - What’s your poison? Alice is legless, the fish are lifeless and Pip is clueless (Discussion #85)

[DadDadDad]

Even if you don't have a leg(?), a life or a clue, Welcome to the first ever 85th Archers thread!

Wild speculation and sensible questions always welcome - especially any newcomers.

A little game for the weekend, inspired by Timetogetup0630 and Gruach on the last thread:

Invent an explanation for how your username was the inspiration for an Archers storyline, character, etc - be creative!

My username is telling the story of Toby, Adam and Ian, although it probably needs some punctuation: Dad! Dad/Dad?

dairyfarmerswife - bit too easy for you, but as professional country folk maybe you could judge the winner?

Credit to MrsGrindah for the clever thread title

Are we still awarding Boop points? If so, a whole handful for Jenny's line about being "so cross she cleaned out both fridges".

I was the one that sent Lilian into the ditch when she fell off her horse. My Apocalptic pony bolted past her, and she ended up in the ditch being rescued by Matt... 🐎

Jenny’s fridge line made me laugh too Puddock I thought she sounded very Margot Leadbetter last night (shows age).

I’ve been both the inspiration for Emma’s decision to get a job at the chicken factory and more lately Lexi’s decision to incubate Adam and Ian’s baby chicken 🍗 👶

D3, what were you going to say next? I do find life expectancy trends and stats interesting. I just wish they weren't becoming so damn ... relevant.

Teeny - potentially going to derail the thread, so I'll try to bring in some Archers-relevant points...

After I mentioned life expectancy up-thread, someone linked to an interesting page with a graph showing that at extremely old ages, there has been little improvement in mortality (unlike mortality in infancy, or for that cohort who grew up with the arrival of the NHS, improved diet, decline in tobacco use - Brian and his older peers).

However, I think it's the case that at those extreme ages (90+ say), mortality levels out - Peggy and Joe have passed through the cancer, heart-related dangers etc and are just waiting for that random event that will maybe weaken or kill them because they are very old.

The big area for debate is whether we can indefinitely increase life expectancy. Some claim that we can overcome cell deterioration (or use bio-mechanical replacements) and put off extreme aging for longer and longer - no limit to how long we could live.

Others argue that there is decades of evidence that people can't really live much beyond 120. Those few who have are statistical outliers, and for most of the population we're never going to get much beyond that.

Have we had any centegenarians in Ambridge?

(Bible trivia - you've probably heard the "three-score years and ten" line, but did you know that Genesis 6 verse 3 says Then the Lord said, "My Spirit will not struggle with man forever. He will die. He will have only 120 years to live until I judge him." Actuarial tables generally end at age 120 too!).

My mother-in-law recently retired after moved her small charter airline to Borchester Aerodrome, so my husband (who now runs the business) and I have moved to the charming village of Ambridge. He's a wonderfully enthusiastic lover and is very hands-on with the children. As a busy paediatric consultant at Felpersham hospital this is quite the boon.

Dad That's v. interesting. I wonder if the random event about to get Peggy might be flu? Is it Neil who is under the weather at the moment?

Kirstie is ghastly at the moment: intolerant, rude and self-righteous. I can just imagine her facebook page

Surely no one in possession of their faculties would have an affair with Shula? She is so dour, it'd be like making love to a pile of damp washing.

What is it with Shula randomly hankering after other men and then getting slightly huffy when they show an interest in every one else? Surely with all her churchgoing she should be steadfastly keeping to her marriage vows?

Sadly, I fear what will get Peggy is the incapacity of the actress who plays her and who is older than Peggy, I think.

I agree with Orangina about the Brine knowing (and maybe taking cash to allow?) someone dumped stuff on his land. That was mentioned a while back and has now gone v. quiet as if it never happened. Is it a) cunning plot device and all will unravel in due course; or b) another botch up by SWs who underestimate their listeners at their peril

Also - how ghastly is Jenny Darling? She really plumbed new depths for me last night.

Oh - and my name cld be Lilian after her hen night, Knob after the kitchen knifing, Alice at about 7am this morning..... I'm spoilt for choice.

I must say, given that it took relatively little to make Jenny clean out two fridges, surely the news about the Businessman of the Year thing is going to result in the entire house being cleaned within an inch of its life?

They have turned Jenny into a monster. She was always a bit of a snob, but it was more lack of self-awareness than real deeply-felt superiority. I am surprised Angela Piper can bring herself to say the lines.

And Kirsty, she isn’t stupid enough to be that rude.

Oh god it's getting tiresome already this pregnancy stuff ...

So ... I may be going through one of those pro-Toby moments ...

So not only are David and Ruth so uncaring about Ben that they could barely remember he had a parents' evening, but, unless I completely misheard, there's something inherent in a boy's GCSE year which means his father rather than mother has to attend.

Emma. What a lovely, generous friend.

Ps. I’m also Roy’s ‘tent of choice’ for festivals.

Completely random change of subject- has anyone noticed how Archers characters are obsessed with leaflets and brochures? Constantly popping round to give them to other characters, or rifling through them to indicate they have a decision to make? I thought Toby was going to produce a few on Aquafit.

So after posting here the another night about goat's milk kefir - the first time I have ever typed that phrase - I am now getting repeat ads for the stuff on Facebook. What the fuck? I don't follow on mumsnet and am quite creeped out by the marketing stalkery.
Anal fisting. Taxidermy. Vauxhall Astra. Tenerife. Henry VIII.
Let's see what adverts I get now.

Yes. I hope that the stuff that Kirsty brought to Jill about chemical contamination was actually printed off the internet as I can’t imagine that anyone has gone to the bother of making leaflets about it! But I could have sworn she said “leaflets”.